The line between Shadow and Love
by HoneyLynx
Summary: COMPLETE! Sara loses her memory in an accident. Catherine blames herself. She witnesses a new side of Sara and is drawn to it. But can she balance this newly developed feeling with her guilt? What happens when a friend professes affection for Sara too? CS
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** To get this over with. CSI and its characters do not belong to me. The fiction is in no way related to anything the writers had or will have in mind. This is a slash fic so if it disturbs your sensibilities, then please don't read. I am not profitting from the fiction, so there is no point in suing me. Please R&R.If there is anyinconsistency in plot or any misuse of forensic/medical/legal procedures, then please bring it to my notice. Otherwise, hope you guys enjoy this.

**Prologue**

_I once had a professor in Harvard, Arthur Fitch. He taught Personality Psychology. It started off with a good long study of dear old Freud. I hated it and never quite understood the hullabaloo for that man. So, therefore, I took whatever my professor and the text had to quote with a pinch of salt. But now, more than seventeen years later, what he said took on a special significance._

"_Do you know why we all fear the unknown?" Fitch had questioned, while walking up and down the lecture podium. No one replied, even amongst those who were awake._

"_We fear the unknown because it has the potential of giving us all that we want. And like anything else that we want, it comes at a price. It gives you pain. And deep down inside, we want to avoid pain at any cost. We can give up pleasure but never take in pain." A pause "See you on Wednesday, everyone."_

_The students stared blankly at the professor for a full thirty seconds before realizing that they couldn't afford to lose precious time before rushing towards their next class. _

_I had given it all but a little thought until this moment. I had never realized how true the statement held for me until I got an opportunity to be the scientist on my own psyche. Few people get the chance to step away and examine their lives in an objective fashion. I did. I got to hear Sara Sidle's story as if it was someone else. I laughed at her. I criticized her. I questioned her. But most importantly, I got to live her life minus all the barriers and shields she had established. _

* * *

_We all want control of our lives. For some people, that desire for control pretty much controls them. Some would say I belong in that category. I have yet to understand the reason for this hypothesis. I have always done things that left me stranded without any direction. I ran away from home. I exposed myself in front of the biggest losers in the opposite sex. I married a man whose interest in me never went beyond monetary and sexual. My dating history has been long but disastrous at best. Where is the control?_

_Maybe that made me really wary of developing personal relationships. I came close to having something with Mr. Nice-eyes Warrick Brown. But for reasons best known to him, he never pursued it. He is now married, apparently happy and I'm once again alone. _

_I don't think I'll fall in love again. After all, I'm not getting any younger. If not for my prior knowledge of his hideous techniques, I would have been tempted to pay a visit to Dr. Malaga. Now I'm at a point in my life where my daughter is all that matters to me. She is growing and she needs a stable structure in her life, not a mother who brings in a new man every night. _

_But then, things once again spiral out of control. Long dormant feelings awaken. A long rested heart begins to beat again. For those who said that hatred is in fact the first step towards love weren't way off. _


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

"Willows." Catherine answered her cellphone. There was a faint buzz on the other end and the sound of someone coughing.

"Hello?" Catherine frowned. "Who's there?"

"Ca-Cath-er-" A raspy cough. "This is… ughh…" Another cough, stronger this time. "This is Greg."

"Greg?" Alarm shot through her. "What happened?"

"Sara…" He croaked.

"What happened to Sara?" By this time Catherine was shrieking and that brought the attention of Nick and Warrick in the break room.

"Get here… fast… please… in t-trouble… Sara…" The line went dead. Catherine stared immobile at the coffee stain on the table as she tried to grasp what she had just heard.

"Catherine, what's wrong?" Warrick shook her gently, concern in his eyes.

As if jolted with electricity, Catherine sprang into action. "We need to get help to Greg and Sara. Warrick, you come with me. Nick, call for paramedics and follow us with backup."

"What?" Nick looked angry. "I'm coming with you. I…"

"Listen to me, Nick. We don't have time to argue." Catherine flashed her eyes coldly and without a word sauntered out of the room. Warrick gave Nick a reassuring squeeze on his arm and then raced after her.

The motel was a good 40 miles from the main city. It stood shabbily against the stark desert. The motel sign flashed irregularly due to poor maintenance. An equally dingy bar was on the opposite side. During their drive, Catherine had said little else than shout curses at drivers who had slowed down her speed. Warrick had warily stayed silent, knowing full well that it was unwise trying to talk to her in such a condition.

A middle-aged man sat on the desk, fanning himself with a newspaper. He looked up as he saw them approach.

"No credit cards here." He wiped his glasses with his shirt. "Only cash. Now one room or two?"

"We are here with the Vegas Crime Lab. I'm Warrick Brown and this is Catherine Willows." Warrick stated professionally. "We have reasons to believe that two of our colleagues are in danger here."

"Oh you mean the brunette?" The man gave a short laugh. "She's not on a tight leash or somethin'? First comes that cute kid asking for her and now you two."

"Where are they?" Catherine asked.

"47 down the hall." He pointed at a dark, musty corridor. "But ya know what? I'm coming with you guys. I ain't gonna trust the government not to do some hanky panky stuff in my motel. The last time those Feds were here. Created a mess, I tell ya and didn't even pay a dime for 'em." The man led them through the corridor. The smell of stale beer and sweat hung heavily in the air. He stopped right at the last room and knocked.

"Anybody?" He yelled. With no response, he turned the key into the lock and took them in.

The two experienced CSIs knew a crime scene as soon as they saw one. Even if they wouldn't have seen the blood on the walls, the smell of it was powerful.

"Whoa whadda!" The motel owner took a double take and then shifted accusatory glances towards them. "Ya wanna temme what this is 'bout?"

"Step back please. This is a crime scene." Catherine managed to bring out levelly but her heart was fluttering like a caged bird.

Warrick was already walking inside the room. He almost squeaked out when he saw the floor near the bathroom.

"Greg! Greg, can you hear me?" Warrick tentatively placed a finger near the young man's neck and to his relief felt a steady pulse. As if suddenly aware of his friends in the room, Greg opened his eyes.

"Wahhrrick…" Greg mumbled.

"Easy Greg. The paramedics will be here." No sooner had he said it, the sound of sirens were heard.

"Where's Sara, Greg?" Catherine leant towards the young CSI, trying not to look at the blood all over his shirt.

"Th-they took h-er. I tried to stop-p… I… Cath… I did." Greg's eyes were closing once again.

"Shh Greg it's ok." Warrick gave Catherine a worried look. Sara wasn't in the room.

"Did you see anyone take a girl out of here?" Catherine questioned the bewildered motel owner.

"No! I swear. I just saw this dude here come in and that's 'bout it." He wiped his forehead.

"He could have taken her through the window." Warrick observed as he saw the opened shutters of the window. He peered closer and saw spatter of blood on the sill.

"Catherine, Warrick, what did you guys fi-" Nick's voice trailed away as he noticed Greg. He stared speechless at his friend lying there. The room was suddenly filled with paramedics. Greg was put on a stretcher and the sounds of cackling radio could be heard.

Warrick looked at Catherine. "Someone needs to stay with Greg and you should do it."

She turned to argue with him but found herself too weak to even bring forth any word.

"Nick, place an APB for Sara. The bastard's taken her." Nick paled but immediately reached out for his phone.

* * *

Nick and Warrick slowly made their way across the sandy terrain. They found tire marks and that was their best lead. The trail led across the wild desert and the scorching sun beat down their backs. But the inside chill they felt couldn't be dissipated. Neither spoke much other than the usual crime scene observations.

Meanwhile, Catherine had accompanied the paramedics to the hospital. She waited outside the ER. She tried to remain as calm as possible. With Grissom away on an Entomology conference, she was brought in as his substitute supervisor. The lab depended on her to keep her cool. But how could she do that when one of her colleague was in serious condition and the other was kidnapped, probably in a worse condition? Catherine tried to keep her thoughts on the case they had all been working on when her phone rang. She rushed to the cellphone-allowed section of the hospital and picked it up.

"Catherine, this is Warrick. We found Sara." His voice seemed distant.

"Is she… ok?" Catherine felt her heart clench.

"She's on her way to the hospital. We'll see you there." Was all he said before he disconnected.

_This couldn't be good_, Catherine thought as she held her phone for a while. She prepared herself for seeing the worst.

None of her mental preparations could have readied her for what she saw when Sara was brought in. Warrick and Nick followed closely behind, their expressions pasty.

Catherine thought she would faint when she caught a glimpse of Sara on the stretcher. The doctors were moving fast, shouting instructions at the nurses. Warrick placed a hand on her shoulder to steady her but it did her little good.

Sara was almost unrecognizable with her face covered in scratches and wounds. Her glorious dark hair was now matted with blood. Her left hand hung limply and Catherine could see the torn flesh and a portion of the ulna bone.

"What… where did you find her?" Catherine asked, desperately trying to remain professional.

"In an abandoned car." Nick answered, his features were tight. "The VIN has been sent for identification to the DMV and the vehicle is on its way to the lab."

"Right." She murmured. "Was she unconscious when you found her?"

"Out cold." Warrick swallowed. "Her pulse is weak."

Catherine briefly closed her eyes. At that moment, the doctor in charge of Greg appeared.

"Ms. Willows?" He walked towards her. "The patient is out of danger but he needs to be kept in the hospital under observation."

The three CSIs breathed a small sigh of relief. At least, one of their concerns was removed.

They had agreed that they would take turns in staying in the hospital while the other two returned to the lab to process the samples from the car. It took some hesitating regarding the decision as they were torn between the desire to stay with Sara and to find out the guy who had attacked her.

They finally agreed upon Nick taking the first shift to stay with Sara. Warrick would relieve him after five hours and then Catherine.

* * *


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

The vehicle was an 80s station wagon. The body was more rust than paint. Peeled off graffiti was visible at the back. Catherine crouched inside the car as her eyes scanned for any evidence. Her torchlight cast the interiors into an eerie blue. The leather seats were torn and smelled of cigarette smoke. She dusted the steering wheel and the dashboard for fingerprints but found none. The backseat was splayed with blood. She knew it was most likely Sara's. That brought back the image of the battered Sara she saw in the hospital and the nausea returned.

"The DMV returned with an ID." Warrick poked his head inside the car. "It was registered to a Joseph Burke."

"Was?" Catherine frowned.

"The guy's been dead for five years." Warrick answered grimly.

"Next of kin?"

"None according to the records. Burke lived with his mother until 1991 when she died of cardiac arrest. He was the only child. He never married. No kids."

"How did he die?" Catherine found what looked like a dried sample of grease. She took a swab of it.

"Car accident. He was DUI."

"The same car?" Catherine asked.

"Hmm…" Warrick flipped through the file. "A 1984 Station Wagon. I'm guessing it's the same car."

"Then what is it doing here?"

Warrick looked into her eyes. "Good question."

* * *

Nick looked exhausted when he returned to the lab. But fear and anger spiked him enough to make him eager to work on the case. 

"How's Greg doing?" Catherine asked as they worked on the evidence.

"Better." Nick replied. "He was awake and the doctors had to almost restrain him from coming back here."

Catherine gave a dry smile. "Much as he complains, he loves his work."

"Sara loves her work." Nick spoke softly. "She'll hate to be away from it."

She felt a lump in her throat. "Nick, she'll be fine."

"No, she won't." He gritted through his teeth.

"Who's with them right now?" Grissom walked in.

"Grissom, how did you…" Catherine began.

"I called him." Nick explained.

"Cath, you should have informed me ASAP." Grissom softly admonished her.

"I didn't want to disturb your conference for…" She searched for words to say.

"For what? For something as unimportant as Sara and Greg?" Nick was furious.

"What? I didn't mean that!" She defended herself.

"Oh, the case is the only thing important for you, Catherine. Sara and Greg wouldn't have been there if not for your interference in a case that wasn't even yours to begin with."

Grissom stared wide-eyed at what Nick had said. A mixture of disbelief and hurt stabbed Catherine as her mind comprehended what she heard.

"Nick, I was the senior CSI at the time. Every case is mine."

"Oh cut it!" He narrowed his eyes. "The only reason you wanted to work on this was because it had connections to a case you left unsolved years ago. This was your chance to redeem your sterling reputation."

"Nick, that's enough." Grissom laid a restraining hand on the Texan.

"If anything happens to Sara, it'll be all on your head."Nick stormed out of the room.

Catherine leant against the table to steady herself. She didn't know that Nick was harboring such resentment for her.

"Cath, he didn't mean it." Grissom stood beside her.

"No, he did. They all hate me."

"They don't hate you." He reasoned. "They are just very close to each other. This incident can make anyone throw accusations wildly."

She sighed heavily. "I do care for them, Gris. I care for them very much."

"I know." He nodded. "Now while Nick cools down, you should tell me everything about the case."

* * *

Catherine walked through the sterile lobbies of the hospital and felt disconcerted. She hated visiting hospitals even though in her line of work, it was something she should have gotten used to. The squeaking of gurneys dominated the otherwise quiet environment. She spotted Warrick outside the ward. A coffee cup lay ignored beside him and he was staring into space. 

"Warrick." She called out. He turned towards her and managed a weak smile.

"How's she?"

"The same." He answered glumly. "The doctors said that with every passing hour, the chance of her coming back from coma gets minimized."

She would have broken down into tears right then but she tried to keep herself together.

"You better get some rest. Nick and Grissom's in the lab."

"I'll doubt I'll be able to rest." He snorted. Catherine didn't say anything. She knew he was right. They were all tired but neither wanted to return to their homes while anxiety was still very much alive within them.

"I'll go and check on Greg." She told him.

Greg was in the adjacent ward. He appeared to be sleeping when she entered. In spite of herself, she smiled. Greg looked very much like a little boy in his sleep. She liked the guy. He brought in much needed humor and liveliness in their otherwise gloomy working environment. His disheveled hair had been chopped off in places to tie the bandage.

"Catherine?" His eyes suddenly shot up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." She apologized.

"It's okay. I wasn't really sleeping." He gave a sad smile. "I was thinking about Sara. They won't even allow me to see her."

"You need to get better yourself." Catherine gently touched his hand.

"She isn't doing that good, is she?" Greg gulped hard.

"She'll be alright." Catherine tried tosound convincing. "We all know she's a fighter."

"I couldn't save her." He almost sobbed. "I tried. I really did Catherine. But I couldn't save her. I heard her screaming and I tried to stop them. But this guy grabbed me and hit me."

"We know you did your best, Greg." She assured him. "You were very brave. You called in for help. If not for you, we might have been very late."

"We might still be very late." He turned his eyes away.

She felt like crying. She had never seen Greg this dismayed. With the enthusiasm gone from his eyes, she herself was feeling close to giving up hope.

_No! You can't give up!_ Catherine heard a small voice inside her shout. _Sara will survive. You yourself said she's a fighter. She's survived so much, she'll survive this._

As if on cue, the corridor outside the room was filled with a sudden frenzy of activity.

"What's happening?" Greg frowned.

"I'll check." She squeezed his hands and rushed outside.

"What's going on?" She reached out for a nurse.

"The patient has revived." A petite nurse replied before hurrying inside the ward that was Sara's.

_Sara is awake!_ Catherine could hardly believe it. She followed them and stood outside the ward. Through the glass windows, she recognized the intern she had met earlier. Nurses crowded round him, each busy handling the IV tubes or the myriad of beeping and blinking instruments in the room. The doctor sharply moved aside and Catherine saw Sara on the bed, or what she guessed was Sara. The figure was covered with white bandages. But there was no mistaking the opened eyes and the slight movement of the head.

Catherine felt a blend of elation and relief flood over her. The intern came out of the room and noticed her.

"Ms. Willows, right?" When she nodded, he continued. "Ms. Sidle here is now awake. You can see her if you like. But please keep it short and do not stress her. She's still very weak."

Catherine didn't wait anymore and dashed inside.

"Sara." Her voice came out all choked and hoarse. Catherine recognized the chocolate brown eyes that were Sara's alone.

"Sara, how are you feeling?" She advanced towards the bed. The nurses were retreating to give them a private moment alone.

There was no response. Sara frowned slightly and confusion laced those eyes.

"Sara, are you ok?" Catherine slowly brought her hands forward and covered Sara's swathed ones.

She was shocked when Sara jerked her hands away. But the next few words from Sara's lips shot through her mind like a bolt of lightning.

"Who are you?" Sara had asked.

* * *


	4. Chapter 3

Thank you for the reviews, everyone. And the Prologue is actually supposed to be from two different POVs. The first one is Sara's and the second is Catherine's. Sorry for the confusion )

**Chapter Three**

"Who are you?" Sara repeated, this time sounding mildly irritated.

_Is she angry with me too? Why else is she pretending not to know me?_ Catherine questioned herself in agony.

"Catherine." She saw the suspicion in Sara's eyes and decided it was better to keep a little distance between them. "Sara, don't you remember me?"

"Do I know you?" Sara coughed. "Where am I? What happened to me?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that. Do you recognize the person who attacked you?" Catherine forced her voice to be as impersonal as possible.

"Attacked? No… I can't remember." Sara reached out to scratch her arm but was annoyed to find it bulked up in bandages. "Am I in a hospital? How serious was it?"

"Yes, you are in the hospital." Catherine replied. "It was pretty serious. Warrick and Nick found you in a really bad condition."

"Warrick and Nick?" Sara frowned again. "Who are they?"

This time the distress turned to panic within Catherine. "Don't you remember them?"

"No… I… I… I can't remember. God, I can't remember!" Sara shook her head and Catherine realized that the woman was starting to get frightened. This was the last thing a newly recovered Sara should be feeling.

"It's ok, Sara." Catherine voiced soothingly. "Just take some rest. I'm going to get a doctor."

"But why can't I remember?" Sara sounded anxious.

"You'll remember. You've just woke up from a surgery. It happens." _I think- _Catherine told herself silently.

"Surgery? Hey wait! You can't leave. You have to tell me what happened to me. No, actually get me a doctor. I don't know you. I don't remember you. Get me a Goddamn doctor!" Sara had begun to move on her bed and Catherine was afraid she might hurt some of her still injured muscles. She rushed out and almost collided with the doctor who was going in.

"Ms. Willows, how's the patient feeling?" A wide smile of satisfaction was plastered on his face which quickly faded when he saw Catherine's expression. "What's wrong?"

She didn't answer him in the room but grabbed his hand and marched out. Once they were in the corridor, Catherine could barely keep her temper in check.

"Do you mind telling me why can't Sara remember anything?"

The bewildered physician suddenly paled. "Amnesia. It happens sometimes when the victim has received serious head injuries which were the case with Ms. Sidle. I will arrange for an MRI to check if there are any other complications."

"You do that." She hissed and then immediately regretted it. It wasn't the doctor's fault that Sara was in that condition. He was doing his best. "I'm sorry. I just…"

"I understand." He told her sympathetically. "I'll get back to you with the reports as soon as possible." He then hurried off to command the intern to get the MRI room ready.

Catherine watched as Sara was wheeled out. Sara briefly glanced towards her. Catherine mustered a smile which wasn't returned. She felt the hollowness inside her return. They had never been on the best of terms. But at least, Sara had never treated her as a stranger.

Unable to bring forth the patience to wait for the MRI results, Catherine went to place a call to the crime lab. The others should know that Sara was out of danger.

"Grissom." He answered.

"Gil, get the others to the hospital. Sara has woken up."

"She has?" The delight was unmistakable in Grissom's voice. "We'll be there right away."

She then went to Greg's room. The guy was arguing with the nurse whose tone indicated exasperation.

"Mr. Sanders, you cannot leave the room."

"And you cannot stop me." He barked. He tore away the IV tube from his arm. The nurse simply stuck another one on him.

"Greg."

"Catherine, oh thank goodness you are here. What was happening out there? Is it about Sara? How's she? God, woman… get off me." He glared at the nurse.

"Mr. Sanders, I might have to tranquilize you if you do not get back to bed." She was pushing his chest.

"I'm absolutely fine!"

"Greg, you should listen to the nurse." The woman shot Catherine a grateful look.

"I'm going crazy staying here and doing nothing." He grumbled.

"Sara's out of coma now. She's come back to us." The redhead smiled brightly.

"She is?" Greg's eyes widened and he gave a very loud whoop. The nurse rolled her eyes at the uselessness of all her efforts.

"Yes, she is. The doctors have taken her for some preliminary tests but I'm sure things are fine." _No point in telling him everything until the results are back._

"That's great. Now I feel tons better and I need to stay off this bed." Greg grinned.

"Oh no, you are staying right here even if it means I need to strap your hands." The nurse warned.

"Oh, a kiss might help too." The young man winked flirtatiously. She glowered.

"Okay Romeo, listen to her or I'm personally making sure you are stuck with paperwork for a month." Catherine threatened good-naturedly.

* * *

It wasn't long before Grissom arrived with Warrick and Nick in tow. Their faces were flushed with excitement. Catherine repeated what she told Greg, not sure she should mention the amnesia yet. She didn't have to. Sara was being brought back into her room when her eyes fell upon Grissom.

"I know you!" She yelled.

Grissom stared at her incredulously. "I should think so, Sara. We have been working with each other for six years."

"Maybe we could talk?" The doctor requested. Grissom turned towards Catherine who slightly nodded.

"Alright." As much as they were eager to see Sara, the four CSIs knew an important situation when they saw one and they made their way into the doctor's office.

"Well, I suppose Ms. Willows has already told you about the memory loss." The doctor began.

"No, she didn't." Grissom briefly glanced towards her.

Catherine sighed. "I was waiting for the MRI. What did it say?"

"As we expected." The doctor answered. "Ms. Sidle was attacked on her head with a blunt object. It did not cause any lethal damage but her temporal lobe has been affected. Certain neural connections have been impaired. We could stop the internal hemorrhage but I'm afraid there were injuries that are beyond our scope. They are like any physical wounds. They will take time to heal on their own."

"So, she lost her memory?" Warrick asked.

"In simple words, yes. Though, the kind is still to be determined. However, my best bet would be retrograde amnesia."

"When the patient loses memory of events prior to the incident." Grissom murmured.

"Exactly." The doctor looked impressed. "However, the extent of memory loss cannot be pinpointed unless she goes through a questioning session. Some people forget hours, some can forget years."

"She didn't recognize me." Catherine informed. Four pairs of eyes looked at her.

"But she remembered Grissom." Nick pointed out.

"It's possible that she retains pieces of memory here and there." Doctor explained. "As of now, she has been sent back to rest. As soon as she regains enough strength, you could find out how much she remembers. You could contact her family or friends and they can assist in the memory gain."

"Is there a chance that she will never remember?" Nick asked slowly. The room suddenly filled with a heavy silence. Finally the doctor took a deep breath.

"Yes, it's possible. But that happens quite rarely and it usually affects memory directly preceding the accident because the brain hasn't gotten time to store the information in the long-term memory. Short term memories are often lost or most affected during such amnesia."

"Thank you." They all whispered in unison.

None of them spoke as they made their way back towards Sara's room. She was, as the doctor said, put to rest. The machine monitored her heart rate as elevated but nowhere near dangerous range. Catherine concentrated on the steady dripping of fluid into her veins to keep her mind off from the magnitude of what they had learnt.

"Well, at least she remembers you, Grissom." Warrick made an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, I wonder why." Nick gave a small smile.

Catherine frowned when she saw a faint tinge of red creep up Grissom's neck. _Am I missing something here?_ - She thought to herself.

The team agreed that there was little that they could do staying in the hospital. They all paid Greg a quick visit and then decided to get some rest. Besides, they needed their strength and alertness if they needed to solve the case.

* * *


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Catherine had a fitful sleep broken by incomprehensible nightmares. She vaguely remembered seeing Sara in them. The rays of the setting sun slanted its way through her bedroom window and cast the entire place in a pale orange glow. She could hear the beats of Lindsay's music from the next room. She checked the time in her bedside clock and realized that she still had a long while before work.

"Linds?" She walked into her daughter's room and winced at the pile of discarded cloths, books and magazines on the floor. "Why don't you clean your room for a change?"

"Why aren't you at work?" Her 12 year old daughter groaned.

"I still have some time." She explained. She carefully made her way across the mess and towards her daughter. Sensing her approach, Lindsay quickly closed whatever page she was reading on her computer.

"What are you doing?" Catherine sat down on the bed.

"School work." Lindsay shrugged.

"That doesn't look like school work to me." Catherine challenged.

"How would you know? You are never home." Lindsay rolled her eyes.

"Lindsay, that's not the way to talk to me." Catherine scolded.

"Whatever."

"Ok, turn this off and look at me." Catherine reached out to press the OFF switch but Lindsay quickly blocked the way.

"Mom, why don't you just leave me alone? Geez!"

Catherine tried to calm herself as she saw the petulant frown on her daughter's face. She knew that it was partly her fault. She hadn't seen much of Lindsay and the girl had every right to be angry.

"Honey, let's talk about this, ok? Mommy knows she hasn't been around much. But I'm trying my best."

"That's what you always say. But I don't care anymore. Now can you please leave so that I can finish my homework before Aunt Nancy comes?" Lindsay glared at her mother.

Catherine sighed. A bad sleep and the previous night's anxiety had left her drained and she didn't have the energy to argue with her daughter. It had to be left for another day.

"Lindsay, just know that Mommy loves you and she's trying hard to be with you." Catherine choked back a sob before she left the teenager's room.

* * *

There is always eeriness in the night shift of the crime lab. Unlike in the day shift, of which Catherine had a good experience, there were no outside noises filtering in. She walked straight into Grissom's office. To someone who didn't know him, he appeared as active as ever. But Catherine saw the slight droop in his shoulders and knew that he hadn't slept well either.

"Did you check on Sara and Greg?" She asked.

"Sara's doing better. Nick's with her right now. Greg's discharged and he should be in the lab any moment." Grissom answered without looking up.

"Good. So how much did you guys get done yesterday?" Catherine sat herself opposite him.

"Warrick identified the grease sample you found in the car. It is silicone grease used extensively as a lubricant. But listen to this, we also found traces of zinc oxide in them. Zinc oxide is commonly added in silicone grease for use in heat sinks."

"As in those of computers?" Catherine narrowed her eyes. Grissom nodded.

"So, we are looking at a guy who works in a computer hardware factory, perhaps?"

"That will narrow it down. Find out everyone associated with Joseph Burke who at one time worked or is currently working in a hardware company." Grissom scratched his chin. "I called DMV to ask them whether they confiscated the vehicle after Burke's accident. Guess what they told me?"

"My mind isn't working." Catherine shook her head.

"Burke co-owned the vehicle with his girlfriend at that time. Her name's Abby Ross."

"So why is her name not in the registry now?" Catherine wrinkled her brows.

"A technical error is why. There was a small computer crash right during the time when they were updating the information on the vehicle. They thought the update got processed but apparently it did not. Since there has been no incident with this vehicle from that time, there was no reason to doubt." He shrugged.

"How convenient." Catherine glanced at the file he pushed towards her.

"Convenient coincidence or maybe not. Either ways, we need to find Abby Ross."

"You don't have an address?"

"What I have is an old address. She doesn't live there anymore." Grissom took off his glasses.

"I'll check on that." She got up to leave.

"Umm… and Catherine, would you mind accompanying me to the hospital later on?" He gave a small smile seeing her blank expression. "The doctor wants to find out how much memory loss is Sara suffering. I figured it would be good if you did the questioning. Nick and Greg are a little… emotional where she is concerned. Warrick is away on a missing persons."

"And since I'm a cold-hearted bitch who doesn't have an ounce of feeling for Sara, I'll be perfect for the job." Catherine added sarcastically.

"I never said that." He stated coolly.

"You didn't have to." She returned.

* * *


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

It was past midnight when Catherine and Grissom finally made their way to Desert Palm Hospital. The medical staff were just changing shift and the front lobby was filled with brief informal chatter.

Sara was awake, flipping through a magazine. She looked relieved when she saw her visitors.

"Hi Grissom. Hi Catherine." She greeted them brightly.

"You remember?" Grissom stepped back in surprise.

"Oh no, but Greg was here and he gave me all the details along with your names. The supervisor with grey hair and beard is Grissom. The smart woman with beautiful hair is Catherine."

Even though those were Greg's words, Catherine felt a flush when she heard Sara saying it.

"I'm interested in what else he's said." Grissom smirked and sat on the chair beside the bed. He leant forward. "How are you feeling?"

"I have this headache sometimes. My legs are sore when I try to move them. But apart from that, I think I'm good." Sara smiled. "Though I can't sleep. But I remember that being a problem even when I was a kid and unless I've changed a lot since I came here…"

"No, you haven't." Catherine teased.

"So, you do remember your childhood." Grissom pointed out.

"Oh yes." Sara nodded. "Greg and umm… what's-his-name… the good looking Texan… Ned… no, N-Nick, yes Nick… they were telling me who I am now. I work as a CSI for the Las Vegas Police Department. Apparently I've given up meat though I kind of figured that out when I almost puked on smelling the chicken soup the nurses brought me to eat. I've been in Vegas for six years. They also told me I'm here thanks to an attack during an investigation." She paused. "I remember none of all the above mentioned happening to me."

"So, what do you remember?" Catherine now neared the bed. Some of the facial bandages were gone from Sara but the white cloth surrounding much of her head gave Catherine the cute image of a bunny rabbit.

"I remember growing up in Tamales Bay. I remember my parents." Sara grimaced at the last sentence. "Harvard… I remember Harvard. I… remember some of San Francisco." She rubbed her temples. "But not much. I think my last clearest memory is that of third year Physics."

Catherine rolled her eyes good-naturedly. Trust Sara to remember that in spite of everything.

"That was a long time ago." Grissom said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I gathered that." Sara's face fell.

"Well, I've read that these memory lapses are often temporary. And the doctor himself said that there is a very good chance that once your wounds heal everything will come back to you." Catherine gave an encouraging smile.

"Yeah… I guess." Sara played with her fingers that now looked like white thread looms. "Though, it is hard to believe I'm working in a crime scene lab."

"What did you want to be while studying third year physics?" Catherine grinned.

"I wanted to…" She furrowed her brows in concentration. "Work in aeronautics. I even attended a first year seminar on basic aeronautical engineering and… wait a second…" Sara stared at Grissom. "I remember you. You were a guest lecturer in that course. You spoke about the dynamics of flying in insects and how it can and cannot be applied to modern airplanes."

Catherine whistled as Grissom smiled in his characteristic way.

"Yes, I was there. I also remember you were the only person who challenged me after lecture on some of my notes." Grissom looked pleased.

"Yeah, your notes sucked." Sara smirked. "They were all over the place."

Catherine watched as the two continued their playful banter for a while. Here was a side of Sara she had never witnessed. It wasn't surprising considering they had clashed swords from the very first moment the brunette stepped into the crime lab. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a desire to get to see more of this side of Sara sprung up inside her.

"Okay, Ms. Sidle, how are we doing today?" A cheerful looking nurse entered the room. "I have to check your vitals."

"Umm… can you tell us if Dr. Rothman is still on shift?" Grissom asked the woman.

"Yeah, he's in his office." The nurse nodded.

"We'll be back, Sara. Take care of yourself." With a slight hesitation, Grissom gently stroked Sara's hand. Catherine once again felt like an intruder and knew there was something between those two she wasn't aware of. She reminded herself to ask Grissom about it later.

Dr. Rothman had the weary pallor of a physician who had spent a long day in the hospital. He briefly looked up when they walked in and forced a smile.

"Mr. Grissom. Ms. Willows. Please take a seat."

"We questioned Sara." Grissom came right to the point. "She forgot a good deal of her past fifteen years."

"Hmm… this is her first day of recovery. It's possible as more time passes, she'll remember more."

"When can she be discharged?" Catherine wanted to know.

"Well, she is physically weak but by no means in danger. She can go home this week if I can be assured she'll have good care."

* * *

"Wait… come again?" Warrick's eyes widened.

Catherine looked around at the equally surprised looks on the others' faces. "I think Sara should stay with me until she fully recovers."

"But why? You don't even like her." Greg murmured and then mentally winced when he realized what he had said.

"Contrary to what all of you think, I don't hate her either." Catherine snapped.

"Hold on." Grissom raised his palm. "I don't want you to prove anything."

"I'm not." She insisted firmly. "And it's a logical decision if you guys would tear your mind away from the so-called animosity between me and Sara. She is not well enough to go back to her apartment alone. She doesn't have any friends or family in Vegas that we know of. I'll be at home in the mornings and Lindsay or Nancy or my mom will be there at nights. Sara will always have someone in the house."

"Well, she has a point." Wendy put in. She handed Grissom a folder. "Or else give me a paid vacation and I can take Sara home." She grinned innocently.

"Ha… very funny." Greg made a face at her which she returned.

"Well, if you are sure about it and Sara is okay with it, then I don't have a problem." Grissom walked away, his nose buried in the folder Wendy had just handed in.

* * *


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Sara wasn't entirely okay with it. Her natural energy made her very restless in her bed. With nothing to do except browse the few channels available on TV or read through fashion and gossip magazines which had never interested her to begin with, she let her brain work overtime. She forced herself to remember and sometimes would stumble upon something concrete. She would concentrate hard until her head started aching and then the memory will be gone. So, all in all, she hadn't gotten much farther than her 3rd year physics. She had also had plenty of time to think of personal life as she remembered in Harvard. But if indeed fifteen years had passed since that, there was no chance she still had a connection to those names or phone numbers. She let herself think of the people who claimed to be a part of her life now. The group of CSIs she supposedly worked with.

Among them all, she felt the most relaxed with the spiky-haired Greg. He had a sense of humor that suited her perfectly and he evoked a feeling of ease from her. She liked the handsome hunk, Nick too. But he made her feel guilty for not recognizing him and also a little wary of his protectiveness. She wondered what kind of relationship they had. Were they dating before she had the accident? She liked Warrick well enough. He had a laid-back attitude that wasn't entirely personal but yet didn't make her feel awkward. She found Grissom intriguing. A spark of interest would aflame in her every time she saw him. Of course, he was the only one she remembered for who he was. Her memories of him were connected to the two classes she had attended of his. He had been impressive if only a little annoying in person.

Catherine puzzled her. There was an odd feeling of pull-and-push towards the woman. Sara had to admit she hadn't always been very comfortable with the people of her own sex. She hated the frivolous talk that some women engaged in. She had suffered during her high school years when girls her age were only interested in boys, clothes and makeup. In college, she had met like-minded people. But even there, she had found conversations flowing more easily with guys than girls.

Not to mention, she had been too physically attracted to most of these girls to feel comfortable talking with them.

That is why when Catherine came by to visit her and informed her that she would be staying with her, alarm bells began to turn on in Sara. She came up with all kinds of excuses and Catherine had an answer for each of them.

"Nonsense Sara, of course you won't be any trouble. Besides, you can't be all alone in your apartment. Now stop being so stubborn and say yes." Catherine smiled.

"But what about your family? Won't they mind?" Sara wanted to know.

"My daughter will be fine with it." Catherine assured her.

"And your husband?"

Catherine felt a dull stab of anger at the mention of Eddie. "Lindsay's dad died."

"I'm sorry." Sara murmured awkwardly. "But I don't want to impose upon you."

"There you go again." The redhead sighed exaggeratedly.

* * *

It was eventuallydecided that Sara would be discharged on the Friday. It was Catherine's day off and she thought the weekend would give her a chance to ensure Sara was settled comfortably.

Catherine _had_ been worried about Lindsay's reaction though. She hardly got to discuss it with her daughter as the girl had spent two nights at her friend's place. When she finally told Lindsay, the young teenager had simply shrugged and mumbled a "sure".

They stopped by Sara's apartment first to collect her things. Sara hadn't shown any signs of recognition on seeing her apartment but Catherine wasn't surprised. The apartment was merely a place where Sara kept her belongings. She doubted the brunette spent much time there, anyways.

They had got Nick to help with the bags as Sara was strongly advised against carrying anything. Even the small task of going through the closets and directing Catherine on what to bring, had exhausted the woman. They eventually forced her to stay in the vehicle while they brought the rest of the stuff out. Catherine was locking the door to Sara's apartment when Nick came from behind her and coughed.

"Catherine, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the other day." He spoke sheepishly.

She took a moment to reply. "Nick, I won't pretend that it didn't hurt me. But I know you were concerned about Sara. We all were. I know, Sara and I haven't been the best of friends."

"Sara used to say how she wished you guys weren't fighting all the time." He said.

"What?" Catherine was stunned.

He nodded. "Sara admires you even though she'll never admit it. It's very hard for her to open up to people."

"I hope that will change." Catherine gave a pensive smile. "I'll try and be her friend."

"I'm sure she'll like it." His face broke into a warm smile. "And Catherine, what happened to her wasn't your fault."

In spite of what he said, Catherine knew it was.

* * *


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Dinner had been a tedious affair that night at the Willows household. Sara had appeared distinctly uncomfortable and Catherine had tried to let the conversation flow. But with her own caution regarding the specific topics to talk about, coupled with Sara's reluctance to open up and Lindsay's sullenness , things didn't go smoothly. Catherine already dreaded the approaching days. She was grateful she had her work to hide into.

As much as Sara denied it, Catherine observed that she was exhausted. She ordered the woman to bed. By the stubborn curve on Sara's mouth, the older woman knew she wasn't used to listening to others. Miraculously, Sara didn't protest. Catherine was relieved for that as she returned after half an hour to check on Sara. The brunette was comfortably tucked in between the sheets, one hand covering her eyes.

She walked into her own room next door and lay down on her massive bed alone. When she had bought the house with Eddie, she had decorated it with dreams of a beautiful future where she would grow old with her family. And then Eddie had gone ahead and crushed those very dreams under the weight of his infidelity. Now she was left with Lindsay who was always angry with her. Of course she had her work and the people she worked with. She had to admit that those very people had become closer to her than any of the friends she had ever known. All except Sara. But she was determined to change that.

With thoughts of Sara, Catherine drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The first thing Catherine did when she woke up was to check up on Sara. She was shocked to find Sara not in her bed. The bed was neatly done and the room almost looked as if there never had been a Sara sleeping in it. She felt a quick rush of panic and raced down.

In one moment, her breath stopped with a slam when Catherine found Sara standing by the large French windows in the living room. Well, she wasn't really standing, more like leaning against the cane the doctor had asked her to use temporarily. She had a far-away expression on her face though Catherine found her occasionally squinting as her eyes caught something of interest. The windows faced east and therefore the morning rays focused with full force on the woman. The hair, which usually appeared almost black in the darkness of the graveyard shift, was aflame with specks of brown in the sun. She had always been fascinated by the intense look of thought on Sara's face. On any other person it would have appeared a part of moodiness. On Sara, it just blended in with her personality.

Finally forcing herself to stop staring at the sight in front of her, Catherine cleared her throat.

Sara slowly turned at the noise and gave one of her trademark smirks.

"This is a beautiful morning."

"Yeah, after a while you notice such things." Catherine replied, walking to stand opposite Sara. "I hope you had a good sleep."

"One of the best." Sara smiled. "Thanks." She hesitated and then: "Catherine, can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Were we… close friends?"

The question took Catherine by surprise, especially considering the truth was far from it.

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't know…" Sara shrugged. "You are offering to have me at your place. I'm not used to people being so nice to me."

The redhead saw a flash of sadness in those dark eyes before it disappeared. She thought of a safe way to answer the question.

"Well… we are colleagues and you are an extremely valuable member of the department. And besides…" Catherine grinned. "Whenever we worked on a case, we made a great team."

"Really?" Sara looked pleased which increased Catherine's pulse up by a notch.

The two women stood quietly for a while. Catherine noticed the thoughtfulness return on Sara's face and found herself once again staring at it.

"Tell me about my attack." Sara spoke suddenly.

"Uh…" She wet her lips. "Well, don't you think you should wait until your memory returns?"

"But maybe talking about the attack would help my memory return?" Sara reasoned.

Catherine had to concede that the woman had a point. She sighed, "It's a very long story. You may want to sit down."

"I'm better here, thanks." Sara shook her head.

"Ok." Catherine crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You and Nick were working on a rape and homicide case. The victim was a student at Shadyside High. The case was a forensic dampener simply because the guy appeared to have cleaned up meticulously afterwards. But there was one thing that was of immense interest. You found a rough sketch of a solar eclipse on the victim's torso. Now the previous day, the March of 29th, there had been a total solar eclipse in certain areas of West and North Africa, Central Asia and Greece. Now get this, the victim was called Aliyah Badem. She's Turkish. Turkey was one of the countries to witness the total eclipse."

"So…" Sara frowned. "This guy chose his victims according to the places where the eclipse was seen?"

"That would be a reasonable assumption." Catherine nodded.

"Then why only Turkey? Why leave other countries?"

"We don't know as of yet that he has left the other countries." Catherine replied grimly. Sara's eyes widened fractionally.

"Before this, there was a total solar eclipse on December 4th of 2002. In the week following that day, we found three bodies, all of girls in their mid and late teens. One was the daughter of refugees from Angola. One had just returned home after a vacation in Australia. One had a mother who was a US ambassador in Zimbabwe." Catherine explained.

"All were countries which saw the solar eclipse." Sara surmised.

"I was working on that case then. We didn't find any evidence. We just found the sketches of a solar eclipse on the torso. The sketches weren't even that good so we can't assume our guy was an artist. We tried to track down any cults that believe in the powers of the eclipses and such. You'll be surprised how many there are." Catherine snorted. "But none had any affiliations with the dead girls. Either they were just picked on random or this killer knows the route our minds would take."

"So the case was unsolved?"

"Yes." Catherine murmured with embarrassment. "Frankly we shouldn't have forgotten about it and we should have been alert for this eclipse."

"So, what are you guys doing about it?" Sara waved her hands in question.

"Well, I think you were making some progress. But your notes were in short hand and none of us could decipher it."

Sara gave a short laugh. "Yeah, an old habit. Maybe you can show me the notes. I'm sure I'll remember my codes."

"Hmm… you are right."

"But now that my brain's a mess…" Sara stroked her forehead. "Who's working on it?"

"The entire lab." Catherine replied. "At least most of them are trying to balance it with other assignments. But mostly, it's me and Nick full time on this one."

"Anyways, it doesn't explain how I got attacked." Sara reminded her.

"Oh yes, well, I'm not really sure what but you had got a lead on the case." Catherine answered carefully, skipping a whole lot of details. "Your lead took you to the Hilch Motel. The rest Greg must have told you."

"No, he didn't." Her eyes were fixed with concentration.

"We sent Greg to accompany you." Catherine winced inwardly at the lie. "He found you struggling with someone. He tried to save you. In the process, he got attacked and the culprits took you along. You were physically assaulted and then abandoned in a car which Warrick and Nick found."

"Oh" was all she said.

"That's pretty much it." Catherine whispered.

"And if I wouldn't have forgotten, I would have been able to give you a face, probably a name of those guys." She stiffened. "But does that mean that we are actually looking for two guys?"

"It would definitely appear so. Greg couldn't get a good look of the guy he saw with you when he entered the room. Though, he did give a fair description. The police sketch's in the lab."

"I'd like to visit the lab." She decided after a brief silence.

"I'll ask Grissom about it." Catherine told her.

* * *


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Sara was far away as she played with the now soggy cornflakes in her bowl. She had been thinking about what Catherine had told her. She had always had a sore spot for crimes, a leftover of her own violent childhood. She tried to form an image of the crime scene and the attack but whatever she saw was a product of imagination and not memory.

There had been dreams the previous night. It wasn't entirely unpleasant but it was confusing. She saw her parents, their eyes dilated with the effect of drugs and booze. She saw her best friend, Peter, who she had met in her calculus class. She even saw glimpses of people she recognized but couldn't remember. Never one with the need to sleep long, she had woken up even before the sun got a chance to rise in the sky. She had tiptoed her way down and had stared at the sky brightening into morning until Catherine had walked in.

Catherine had looked different that morning. Without her usual makeup, her hair tousled from sleep and her eyes wide and sparkling, she looked fresh and softer than the woman she had encountered before. In fact, under any other circumstance, Sara would have considered her to be a pretty suburban wife. But as soon as she started getting into the details of the case, the entire stance had changed and she had hardened, as if ready to defend herself against any danger. Here was a woman to reckon with, Sara knew.

"Penny." Catherine touched her arm gently.

"For my thoughts?" Sara laughed. "Not worth it. You already know them. I was thinking about what you just told me."

"Does it horrify you?" Catherine asked with some panic. She hadn't taken into account that Sara-with-the-memory-of-an-undergrad might not take in the details well. To her relief, Sara shook her head.

"It doesn't horrify me, which I suppose is horrifying in itself." Sara broke into a half smile. "I was just trying to remember."

"Anything?"

"Nothing."

Catherine exhaled. "Well, don't pressurize yourself. It'll come to you."

After breakfast, Lindsey was told by her mom to finish her homework. Hardly fifteen minutes had passed when the girl began to whine that the homework was too hard. Catherine had tried to help and multi-task with other housework. Sara helpfully intervened. She offered to help Lindsey with the studies which the girl reluctantly accepted.

Catherine went through the rest of her work with one ear listening for any of her daughter's usual complaints. To her surprise, she found none. What surprised her even more was that Sara had managed to make Lindsey study for more than an hour. She hadn't bet on Sara being particularly good with kids. When she thought it was safe to interrupt, she went into Lindsey's room. The floor was spread with papers scribbled with tiny numbers. Sara had one pen tucked into her ear flap. Her fingers were twirling a ruler round and round. Lindsey's face was rapt with concentration as she expertly punched in numbers into her calculator.

"No, no, Linds, you need to solve the figures inside the bracket first." Sara reminded her.

"But why?" She grumbled.

"Because those are the rules and the rules are there for a reason."

"Yeah, because they suck." The girl rolled her eyes.

Sara chuckled. "Rules suck alright but they also make life easier. Imagine if they weren't rules, how would you know which part of this long thing you should start with first? Everyone will come up with a different answer, right?"

Lindsay had to accede that she had a point and she religiously went back to punching numbers and recording them. Sara occasionally stopped her when she thought she was doing something wrong but the need for that became less and less.

Catherine didn't know for how long she had stood there watching the two but when Sara suddenly looked up and caught her eye, she turned red as if caught red-handed.

"Uhm…" She coughed. "How's things going, Lindsay?"

"Good." Her daughter answered back absently. Her attention was still focused on her book, a phenomenon Catherine had witnessed for the first time.

"Well, what do you girls want for lunch?" She asked.

The word 'lunch' grabbed Lindsay's mind. "Mom, there's this new restaurant round the street. It has great tofu items. Sara's vegetarian so I think that'll be perfect."

"Really?" Catherine heard Sara begin saying something about not ordering anything special for her and interrupted her. "Oh it's not special, Sara. And besides, I am seriously thinking of reducing my meat intake."

So the Willows women dragged an overwhelmed Sara out of the door and into the car. The restaurant had indeed been good and Sara had seemed to enjoy it which pleased Lindsay immensely. Though Catherine had found it extremely disturbing when Lindsay had attracted the attention of a young boy at the cashier.

"What the hell is my daughter doing?" Catherine seethed when she thought she saw Lindsay bat her eyelashes.

"That's called flirting, Catherine." Sara smiled.

"I _know_ she's flirting. She is not supposed to be flirting. She's only 12!"

"I don't think she means to flirt. I think it comes with the package seeing that she has your genes." Sara chirped.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Catherine growled sharply.

"Huh? Nothing, I was just saying because she inherited your good looks, Lindsay's bound to get attention even without flirting." Sara looked befuddled. "Did I say something wrong?"

Catherine cursed herself inwardly. For a moment, she had thought Sara was taking a jab at her stripper days. She remembered, quite late, that Sara didn't even remember that fact about her. "I'm sorry." She mumbled. "I'm just being an overprotective mom."

"Lindsay's lucky in that sense. There are some kids who have mothers that don't give a damn." Sara's voice had tightened. Catherine frowned, not understanding where that came from.

They then went, on Lindsay's insistence, to watch a movie. Catherine figured her daughter had earned it for being a diligent student that morning and she also hoped to spend time with her and Sara. Though why she felt like spending some fun time with Sara was beyond her understanding.

The movie was some cheesy romance that Catherine couldn't keep her eyes opened to. She used the time to observe Sara who was sitting on the other side of Lindsay. Catherine had forgotten the ordeal of watching a movie with her daughter. The ever curious girl needed to know each detail and pointed out the numerous goof-ups inevitable in movies like these. Sara had patiently sat through, explaining and agreeing.

_How come she is always ready to bite off people's heads when at work?_- Catherine wondered. _She seems as meek as a lamb with Lindsay and knowing my daughter, that requires a great deal of patience. Was Sara a different person when she was younger? Or maybe her temper is reserved only for abusive husbands, insensitive jerks…_ Catherine grimaced … _and me._

* * *

Ok... there ends my fic marathon for now. Reality is yelling for my attention and I need tosurrender :-( The next chapter might be up this weekend. Please R&R 'til then. Thank you!


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Grissom had ruefully informed Catherine that it wasn't possible for Sara to come to the lab in the next few days. Ecklie was conducting some kind of quality and work inspection and the assistant director was already more than a little pissed at Sara.

Grissomhad arrived to visit Sara on Sunday. The woman had looked pleased with his presence and they had spent a great deal of time talking. Catherine had been aware that Grissom and Sara were friends before he brought her to work in the Vegas Crime Lab. But she hadn't been able to garner much information regarding the true nature of their relationship. Grissom, being Grissom, always maintained a strict professionalism during work and treated Sara no different than the other CSIs. But now, watching them converse like old pals, she began to see what being cloistered in the lab and the crime scene never allowed her to see.

Catherine's natural curiosity was too much for her to remain quiet and on Monday when she returned back to work, she met Grissom first thing.

"So, you knew Sara really well before she came here?"

Grissom looked up in surprise. "Well enough. Why?"

"No, you just never talked about it." Catherine replied.

"There was nothing to talk about." He shrugged.

"Do you… like her?" _Okay, that came out and I don't know why_.

"Catherine?" He had a what's-this-about expression on his face.

"Well, I did hear rumors." She explained feebly.

"I never took you to be one who hears rumors." He raised his eyebrows. "So, what's the report on your checking up on Burke?"

_So he doesn't want to discuss it. Well, I guess that's it then._

"Burke hardly socialized but he used to play the slots once in a while. He never won nor lost a substantial amount. His girlfriend, Abby Ross, now Mrs. Abigail Donner, left Vegas shortly after he died. She's in Arizona and I've tried calling her but got an answering machine. She has every right to not answer our questions unless we get a suitable warrant from the Phoenix PD."

"Ask Brass to arrange it." He instructed. "Sara was found in the car that is supposed to be registered to her. If she lost it, sold it, abandoned it, gave it away to charity, we need to know."

"Okay."

Brass was more than happy to scheme the warrant for their purpose. He had been away on a much postponed vacation which he had immediately cancelled on hearing about Sara. He still carried the ghosts of the time when Holly Gribbs had been killed in the line of duty. The news of Sara must have hit him with full force. Catherine had always admired the exceptional coolness with which Brass handled all his cases. That is why, this distraught Brass unnerved her. She was thankful she had good news for him.

Catherine then went through the casefile of the "eclipse killer' as he (or they) had come to be known. She read the file she had made almost four years earlier for the twentieth time, hoping she had missed something there. She then went through Sara and Nick's notes. Sara kept a small book where she jotted down everything before officially transferring them into the main records. Catherine had tried once again to encode them but gave up and decided to take it home with her. She had come up with a list of all possible victims, from the age of 13 to 19, whose ethnicity, profession or vacation trips connected them to all the countries that came under the arch of the solar eclipse. The list was long and there was no way of knowing how many others were connected in some remote way to the countries. They still had to figure out how the killer thought and until that, they would get nowhere. There had been no missing reports filed from the list she had made but then again, that didn't really mean anything. Short of calling each household and confirming that their daughter was safely tucked in bed, she couldn't do anything with the list.

She wondered what clues had led Sara to go to the motel. She then went over the sketch Greg had provided and thought of showing it to Sara that night. However, much as she wanted to nab the guy, she didn't want to torment Sara. The brunette said nothing but Catherine had woken up for two nights at a stretch by the sounds of Sara talking in her sleep. The woman had appeared to be in the throes of a nightmare as her limbs thrashed about and she moved her head from side to side. Catherine had been at a loss and had only been able to stand and wait for the nightmare to subside before returning back to sleep. She hadn't asked Sara because the woman showed no signs of distress in the morning. But she couldn't help thinking that her telling Sara about the attack so early in the recovery stage had caused those nightmares.

She had regularly called home to check up on Sara. It wasn't until her sister had started to sound suspicious that she stopped. She then immersed herself in her work for the next couple of hours until dawn broke the darkness outside.

"Catherine!" Greg huffed as he entered her office. "We found another victim."

Catherine sprung up, adrenaline rushing through her veins.

The victim was Melanie Dreher, only daughter of a widowed second generation Greek mother. Melanie was supposed to be on a trip with her school and therefore her mother didn't take notice of her absence. But the previous night's rain must have exposed the body and a group of UNLV students had found it in a ditch.

Melanie's body had begun decomposing showing that it had been there for a while. Catherine forbade anyone from touching the body before she had a time to process it. As expected, there was a sketch of an eclipse on the torso. There were indications of a sexual assault. Nick was beside her, photo-documenting the scene. Suddenly, her fingers encountered a bulk in the uniform skirt. Catherine carefully took it out and saw that it was a piece of glass with blood on it. This was the first time she saw material evidence in this crime. She quickly packaged it. This was a small lead but at that moment, it was manna from Heaven.

Catherine heard the incessant sobs of a woman when she got back to the main road. A tall, dark-haired woman was leaning against a car. Her face was buried in her hands and her entire body shuddered with her cries.

"The mother." Brass whispered from Catherine's right. They walked towards the woman.

Catherine felt terrible for her. Brass softly spoke. "Mrs. Dreher, I'm Detective Brass and this is Catherine Willows from the Crime Lab. Do you mind if we ask you a few questions?"

The woman removed her hands. Her eyes were red-rimmed and a beautiful face stained with tears. "Why? Why her! Melanie never did anyone wrong. She was a sweet girl. She was…" Another bout of sobs wrecked her body.

"Mrs. Dreher, it wasn't your daughter's fault. Whoever did this to her is an extremely sick man and many others like Melanie are in danger. We need your help in finding him." Catherine requested.

"Melanie was all I had. After Francis died… God, I promised him I'll live for our daughter's sake… he made me promise I'll send her to college, give her all the love… Francis will never forgive me…" Alexis fell down on her knees.

Catherine watched as Brass helped the woman. She knew what Alexis was feeling. She understood precisely what it felt like to be a single mother and have your entire universe centering only on your child. That girl was the only family Alexis had left and now with this…

Catherine shivered despite the summer heat.

Catherine worked till noon. Doc Robbins had confirmed that the COD was the repeated knife stabbing on the chest, just like all the previous victims. Like others before her, her left breast had been cleanly removed. She had been raped but by a foreign inorganic object. The sketch on her stomach was by a standard felt-tip marker, available in anyone's house. A sample of the blood was sent to Wendy and she informed them that the DNA matched that of Melanie. The glass was still being examined by Greg.

Sara was engrossed in a book when Catherine reached home. One look at the woman and Sara knew something was terribly wrong. Exhaustion was written painfully on the pasty face and it brought forth a flash of concern within her.

"Catherine, are you ok?" She came forward.

"Yes. No. I don't know." Catherine whispered, sitting down on the couch.

"Want to talk about it?" She asked, sitting down beside the woman.

Catherine wet her lips and swallowed. "We found another body today."

"Same guy?" Sara questioned after recovering from the initial shock.

She nodded. "I met her mother. For a moment, it seemed as if I was in her position. If I ever lose Lindsay…" Her voice broke.

Sara stared helplessly as Catherine struggled to contain her tears. She didn't know what to do. Comforting someone had never been her strong point but she nevertheless wrapped her arm around the woman's shoulder and pressed it gently.

"You never realize how much someone means to you until you lose them." Sara understood.

"No, you don't."

* * *


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Sara made Catherine a strong cup of coffee because she was adamant against going to bed. She wanted to stay awake so that she could pick her daughter up. Sara didn't argue. She understood how much it meant for Catherine to see Lindsay at that moment. She knew Catherine was deliberately leaving a lot of details out. She could sense the lie in those eyes. But she didn't press.

However, it didn't ease the frustration Sara was beginning to feel. She felt helpless at the hands of her own amnesia. She had spent the time trying to remember. She made a rough chronology of all the important events she remembered. Strangely enough, meeting Grissom had opened more doors into her lapsed memory. She now recalled seeing Grissom on more occasions after the lecture. Hehad introduced her to some of his very _"adorable"_ eight-legged friends. They had talked about his profession, namely forensic medicine and she remembered being fascinated by it.

Catherine had asked her to use the study room computer whenever she wished. Sara felt as if she was trespassing when she stepped into the study but the mere thought of few more hours spent in idleness decided it for her. She was just about to sit down on the leather armchair when her gaze caught a photo frame turned upside down on the desk. She gingerly picked it up and saw Lindsay with a man in his mid-forties. He was handsome in a rugged way and his blonde hair shone in the sunlight. Lindsay was grinning into the camera and had her arms around the man.

_He must be Lindsay's father_- Sara thought. Suddenly, out of nowhere a streak of memory trickled and she felt a throb of pain.

_Oh, c'mon, don't go… don't friggin go!_- Sara repeated as she tried to catch the trace of whatever she had remembered.

Everything went dark and then she saw the guy, Lindsay's dad. But instead, he looked pale, immobile… dead. She saw Catherine. Those eyes, those glorious blue eyes, were not tender but had the strongest touch of anger in them. Sara quaked and she wanted to escape but she couldn't. She found herself standing there and watching Catherine's lips move but she heard no sound from them. She saw Lindsay but she looked younger, like the girl in the picture. She felt inadequate and guilty and Catherine looked as if she… hated her?

"Sara!"

Sara opened her eyes and once again stared into those deep blue orbs. The urge to run away was powerful and she pushed those hands that held her.

"Sara, it's me. Sara!"

"It's not my fault! I tried, Catherine! I tried!" Sara squirmed and flailed her arm, not caring that it was still sore.

"What happened, Sara? Look at me!"

Maybe it was the worry or maybe it was something else in that voice but Sara finally trod her way back into reality. She blinked and then proceeded to get up.

"Aarggh!" Sara yelled as her elbows hit the hardwood and the pain returned with full force.

"It's ok, sweetie." Catherine whispered as she slowly helped Sara up, cautious to not apply any pressure on the still bruised bones.

Sara leant against Catherine and tenderly put her foot down. The hurt tore through her like small daggers but she bit her lip hard to stop the cry. Lindsay was holding her other hand; those large eyes panicked.

The next few moments seemed to blur under the impact of the pain. It was only when Catherine gently laid her down on the bed that she felt her brain begin to function again.

"Let me check your wounds." Catherine said but Sara shook her head.

"No, I'll be fine. I just… blacked out."

"You hurt yourself. Your stitches might have opened." Catherine sighed. "Don't complain, Sara. It won't take long."

Sara was too tired to argue so she leant against the bed post as Catherine carefully unwrapped the bandage.

"You want to tell me what happened." She threw the gauze into the waste basket and examined Sara's hand.

"I don't know…" Sara croaked. "I think I was remembering something… and then… blank."

"Why were you fighting me?" Catherine tried to make it sound like a joke but she was also actually worried.

"I remembered something about you, I think." The brunette swallowed. "I'm not sure what… but I saw Lindsay's father… and Lindsay… you were…"

"You saw Lindsay's father?" Catherine cut in sharply.

"Yes…" Sara frowned. "The man who's with Lindsay in the picture I saw in the study. I thought that was Lindsay's fa…"

"He is." Catherine clenched her jaw. "What else did you see?"

"Nothing." Sara lied.

"Nothing?"

"Nope."

Catherine didn't say anything as she went through the hands and assured herself that Sara hadn't ripped apart the stitches.

"Take off your shirt." She directed.

"What!" Sara immediately straightened.

"Take off your shirt. I need to check your ribs."

"I… err… I'll do it m-myself." Sara stuttered.

"Why, Sidle, I never knew you to be so prude." Catherine teased.

"I'm 20, remember?" Sara shot back.

"Oh, I was having the most colorful sex life at 20." Catherine smirked.

"I don't doubt it." Sara's eyes involuntarily roved up and down the woman's svelte figure.

Catherine grinned. "Okay, at least lift your shirt."

"Fine… fine." Sara gingerly picked up the bottom hem of her oversized tee and lifted it up. She was thankful that it gave her an opportunity to hide behind it so that Catherine wouldn't see her embarrassment. She felt the feather light touch of Catherine's fingers as the woman pried open the bandages. Sara gritted her teeth so hard that her jaws began to ache. Either that or she would have given into the urge to giggle childishly.

"Nothing's torn or bleeding." Catherine remarked and leant back. Sara hastily covered her modesty and looked away, muttering something that sounded like 'thanks'.

"I'll get some sleep. You do too." Catherine left, leaving Sara to collect her senses.

* * *


	12. Chapter 11

_The lines in Lindsay's script have been taken from Shakespeare's **Merchant of Venice**, Act 5 Scene 1. _

**Chapter Eleven**

"Trashed?" Catherine's eyes widened. She looked at Grissom and then at Nick standing beside him.

Nick nodded. "I went to Sara's apartment to see if I could get a clue of what lead she had. When I reached there, the whole place was a chaos. I examined the entire apartment. We have Brass talking to the apartment supervisor to check lobby cameras and such."

"So, that means that whoever had attacked Sara also thought that she had something in her apartment." Catherine curved her lips in a dry smile. "This is just great."

"Did you tell Sara about Melanie Dreher?" Grissom asked.

"Yes."

"And?"

"It sickened her but didn't strike any bells. Though…" Catherine paused, not sure whether she should continue.

"What?" Nick frowned.

"Sara remembered something." Catherine saw excitement and hope illuminate their faces. "Not much, but it's a start. She remembered Eddie."

"Eddie?" Grissom looked confused.

"Yes, Eddie, my ex-husband, remember?"

"Of course I remember." He gave her a grim look. "Is it because of his murder case that she was on?"

"I guess." She nodded.

"Well, it's definitely a start." Nick asserted.

"How did she react?" Grissom was far from positive.

_Here comes the hard part_. "Frankly, not so well. She was scared."

"Did she get violent?" Grissom asked quietly.

"How did you know?" Catherine was surprised.

"I did some reading."

"Guys, we've got hold of Mrs. Donner. She's in town visiting her mother." Brass poked into Grissom's office.

They were all visibly glad with this new headway in the case.

* * *

When Catherine got home, she was surprised to see Lindsay and Sara in the living room. 

"Lindsay, why aren't you at school?" She glared at her daughter.

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Mom, you forgot, didn't you? We have a staff meeting today and so it's a day off."

"Oh." Catherine's gaze quickly took in all the loose leafed paper spread out on the floor, blankets she had forgotten she possessed and what looked like cardboard cut daggers. "What's going on in here?"

"Lindsay and I were rehearsing for her school play." Sara bent down. "Sorry, I'll clean up right now."

"No, no, that's alright."

"Hey Sara, why don't we ask Mom to play the other part?" Lindsay suggested eagerly.

"Lindsay, your Mom must be tired." Sara told her.

"It's ok." Catherine smiled and sat down on the couch opposite them. "What do I have to do?" She _was_ exhausted but she couldn't give up the opportunity to find out what the two ladies in front of her were doing.

"You play Portia. Sara's fed up of playing all the other characters." Lindsay pouted and moved away before Sara could catch hold of her.

"Portia? Sounds familiar…" Catherine wrinkled her brows as she accepted the script Sara handed to her.

"Merchant of Venice, mom."

"Right." Catherine glowered when Sara and Lindsay tsk-tsked simultaneously.

"They couldn't find a guy talented enough to play Antonio, so I'm playing him." Lindsay announced proudly.

"That's the title role." Sara added.

Catherine's face broke into a smile as she gave her daughter a brief hug. "Ok and who is Sara?"

"Hmm… she'll play Bassanio." Lindsay replied. "We've got this far." She pointed at a line in Catherine's script. "Now it's your turn, mom."

"My turn? Okay… uh… umm, here goes… Even so void is your false heart of truth. By heaven, I will… uh… nay-er? Nay-er come in your bed… umm... until I… see the ring." Catherine recited.

"Mom!" Lindsay gave a theatrical sigh. "This is not how you say the dialogue. It sounds terrible!"

"What, I'm trying my best! And who speaks like that in real life, anyways?" Catherine came to her own defense.

"Yeah, but this is not real life!" Lindsay lowered her voice as if speaking to a child. "Mom, you have to bring emotion in your lines. Feel the character. This is acting."

"How am I supposed to do all that? I'm a CSI not an actor."

"Sara does it so well."

"Linds, what does it matter? It's not your Mom who has to be on stage." Sara gave Catherine a supportive smile. "I stammered all over the lines at the beginning."

"Well, if I'm rehearsing I need to be in a believable environment. The emotions should flow back and forth." Lindsay explained.

"Of course." Catherine groaned.

"C'mon Mom! I want you to help me!"

Catherine stopped and saw something in Lindsay's eyes that she hadn't seen in a long while. She saw her daughter _needing_ something from her. Lindsay wanted them to spend time together. Lindsay wanted to include her mother in her life. She was asking Catherine to help her take a positive step forward.

"Alright honey, I'll help you." Catherine stroked Lindsay's hair. She cleared her throat. "Even so void is your false heart of truth. By heaven, I will ne'er come in your bed until I see the ring."

"Mom, mom…" Lindsay shook her head. "Act angry. You are mad at your husband…" She pointed at Sara "Because he lost the ring you gave him. It's supposed to be a BIG deal."

"Sara's my husband?" Catherine squeaked. Sara fought a smile and concentrated hard on the black-printed words in front of her.

"Duh, mom."

Sara coughed. "Let's do this again, shall we?"

"Alright." Catherine took a deep breath. "Even so void is your false heart." She fixed Sara with an accusatory glance. "By heaven! I will ne'er come in your bed until I see the ring."

"Excellent." Lindsay smiled.

"Sweet Portia, if…"

"Sara, act as if you are trying to apologize to your wife. Act as if you love her… geez, I need to tell them everything." Lindsay looked cross.

"Oookay." Sara coughed again and then nervously came towards Catherine. She took Catherine's hand in hers and mustered as much affection in her voice as she could. "Sweet Portia, if you did know to whom I gave the ring, if you did know for whom I gave the ring and would conceive for what I gave the ring and how unwillingly I left the ring…" Sara paused and looked into Catherine's eyes. "When nought would be accepted but the ring, you would abate the strength of your displeasure."

"I am the unhappy subject of these quarrels." Lindsay inserted enough sorrow in her voice.

"Sir, grieve not you; you are welcome notwithstanding." Catherine gave her daughter a reassuring smile.

"Portia, forgive me this enforced wrong; and, in the hearing of these many friends, I swear to thee, even by thine own fair eyes." Sara had unconsciously tightened her grip on Catherine's fingers and leant forward. "Wherein I see myself…" Her tone was soft, every word emphasized.

"M-mark you but that." Catherine felt something jump up and down her spine. "In both my eyes he doubly sees himself; in each eye, one: swear by your double self, and there's an oath of credit."

"Nay, but hear me: pardon this fault, and by my soul I swear I never more will break an oath with thee." Sara begged.

_Dear God, if Sara ever puts this puppy-dog look for anyone, the person's gotta be blind to refuse her. Hell, for some stupid, unfathomable, crazy, illogical reason, my knees are turning into jelly and we are supposed to be only acting ­–­ _Catherine gulped and re-gulped.

She almost died from a mixture of relief and dismay when Sara released her hand.

* * *

My readers, I hope the piece satisfied thee. Thy continued critique is forever welcome ;) 


	13. Chapter 12

Thank you for the reviews:) I received some questions regarding Grissom and Sara's relationship. Well, I'm playing with the original CSI plot about Grissom and Sara having a thing before she was brought to Vegas. And Grissom will be playing a major part where the CS romance is concerned in the upcoming chapters. Stay tuned!

**Chapter Twelve**

Grissom gave the green light to bring Sara to the lab. After a brief sleep that removed much of the weariness in Catherine but wasn't close enough to leave her refreshed, she informed Sara of what Grissom said.

Sara was in her room, carefully shrugging into an old pair of jeans and shirt. It was difficult to change clothes when her one foot was still not strong enough to stand and her hands were cocooned in bulky bandages. She propped the weak leg on the bed and awkwardly dressed herself. She dimly heard Catherine talking to Lindsay in the hallway.

As had become a habit for her in the past few days, Sara took a brief minute to wonder about her life. She was beginning to get too comfortable in Catherine's house and this was something that scared her. She remembered the last time she had started to accept one of the foster homes as her own. The forced departure had been extremely painful to her. This arrangement wasn't all that different than the numerous foster cares she had been shuttled across.

"Sara, you ready to go?" Catherine called out.

"Coming!" Sara replied. She smoothed her hair with her fingers and walked out of her room. She didn't know what to expect at the lab but she was hoping that it would help open some doors to the prohibited areas of her memory. The sooner she remembered, the faster she could return back to her normal life.

Sara's steps halted when she saw Catherine and Lindsay by the door and her heart flip-flopped.

_No, this is not your home. The last time you got close to a stranger you were left wiping your own tears. Thankfully, you haven't forgotten that little lesson, you fool!_ – She paused, cleared her thoughts and then managing a smile, walked up to Catherine.

"Sara, I never got the chance to thank you." Catherine turned towards the other woman. They had been sitting in relative silence since they left Catherine's house.

"Thank me for what?" Sara was perplexed.

"For giving Lindsay such good company. She really likes you."

"I… like her too." Sara whispered.

"My daughter has been very… sad for a while now." Catherine chewed her bottom lip. "She has been having trouble at school. Teachers say that she has no friends."

Sara didn't know what to say so she kept quiet, waiting for Catherine to continue.

Catherine clamped her fingers on the steering wheel. "After Eddie died, Lindsay's gone so distant. She hardly ever talks to me and when she does… she gets so angry."

"I think it's a way for Lindsay to cope with her father's death." Sara deduced. "She closes up so that she can pretend to stay away from reality."

Catherine smiled despite herself. "You know, for someone who claims to not like children, you sure know and get along with them."

"I told you I didn't like children?" Sara was shocked.

"Well, you kind of slipped that out when you were assigned to take care of a kid during a case." Catherine chuckled at the memory.

"It's not that I don't like children." Sara murmured thoughtfully. "I just haven't had much of a chance to strike a good rapport with them."

"Then they have been missing something. You are wonderful with Lindsay. I haven't seen her so carefree in quite a while now." Catherine offered gratefully.

Sara blushed. "Lindsay's a nice girl. It's not hard being friends with her."

"And I also never knew you were so good at acting." Catherine had a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Believe or not, I loved Shakespeare in high school." Sara grinned.

"You never told me about your childhood." Catherine pointed out after some time.

"Oh." The brunette fiddled with her seat belt, not wanting to go there. "My childhood isn't anything to talk about."

"Who says geekiness can't be interesting?" Catherine joked.

"So, you know about that too?" Sara laughed. "See, no secrets."

_I doubt it_- Catherine thought.

They reached the wrought iron perimeter of the Crime Lab and Catherine knew that this wasn't a time to press Sara further. Sara, on the other hand, had been waiting for Catherine to vouch more information about her husband before Catherine did an about turn and brought the topic to her own past. Her miserable childhood was the last thing Sara wanted to discuss. She hated losing her memory but three quarters of the time she wished that she had lost all memories of her early years instead.

After clearing the necessary security checks, they finally entered the air-conditioned interiors of the lab. The smell of mild air freshener and cleanser hung in the air. A faint tinge of recognition made its way towards Sara's mind but she couldn't quite place it. Her acute observational skills took in every detail as she passed the rows of offices and enclosed lab areas. Many people stopped to greet them both. Sara could only manage a polite smile.

"Look, who has graced us with her presence." Greg marched towards the two women, his lab coat opened at the front to reveal a shirt that read, 'Kiss me, I'm cute'.

"Hi Greg." Sara was genuinely pleased to see the young man.

"A few days away from this hole of doom suits you." Greg waved his hands dramatically. "Your beauty radiates the hallway."

"Greg, don't you have something to do? Lab results? A crime scene? Paperwork maybe?" Catherine demanded.

"I perhaps do. But none is as important in escorting this beautiful lady around." He flashed Sara a charming smile. "Besides Grissom has asked to see you as soon as you come."

"Greg…" Catherine began.

"I'll be fine with Greg." Sara put in. "I don't want to disturb your work."

"Okay, but you take care of her." Catherine gave Greg a mock look of warning.

"I would never dream of doing otherwise." Greg bent his head and brought out his hand in a chivalrous manner. "Shall we, bella?"

* * *

Grissom was on the phone when Catherine walked into his office. He gestured for her to sit down. The person on the other end of the line seemed to be doing much of the talking as Grissom flipped through the latest issue of _Nature_. 

"I'll get to it." He replied nonchalantly and ended the call. He looked at Catherine. "Hello."

"You asked to see me?"

"The results on the glass you found on Melanie Dreher have returned. Trace found metallic salts on the glass, specifically those of copper, some dyes and lime."

"Stained glass." Catherine's eyebrows shot up.

"Where do we get stained glass in Vegas?" Grissom asked.

"Well, churches for one. I know there are certain statues and lamps with stained glass decorations. Some houses even have them. Could you get a specific manufacturer for the glass?"

"Yes, Merchant Glass Makers." Grissom's eyes had the stirred look of someone who has just stumbled upon a treasure hunt. "It belongs to Brian Donner, Abigail's husband."

"No kidding?" Catherine gave an excited smile. "Have we got her for questioning?"

"She's in the room."

She stood up to leave when Grissom stopped her.

"Where's Sara?"

"Oh, she's with Greg. He's showing her around." Catherine answered.

Something familiar but not easily definable crossed his face. "Okay, good."

* * *


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

"This is the break room, the place you least frequently visit." Greg pointed to a large café-like area.

Sara looked in through the transparent windows and said, "Can I have some coffee?"

"Of course." Greg opened the door for her and she stepped in.

Sara was considerably relieved when she sipped the hot beverage. She had been engulfed with a strong sense of _déjà vu_, the kind where you feel you've been to a place before but can't remember more about it. She was mentally tired of concentrating so hard. The break room must indeed be a place she hardly visited for the feeling had subsided sizably.

"Sara!" Nick and Warrick's combined voices drifted into the room along with them.

"Hi." She smiled at them.

"Heard you were here and couldn't resist some time off." Nick grinned. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." Sara replied.

"Better enough to come back to work?" Warrick teased. "I never realized just how much overtime you pulled until I saw the pile of work without you."

"Yeah, Sidle. I think my eyes are gonna fall off with all the paper work I've done in the last week." Nick feigned sadness.

"So, you guys want me back only because the work is too much for you?" Sara pretended to be hurt.

"Of course, what did you think?" Greg ribbed.

"In that case I'm leaving." Sara wiped a fake tear.

"As long as you find a replacement." The boys chuckled as Sara smacked Warrick on the shoulder.

"Well, well, if all of you are done with your cases then I'm sure I have a lot more work for you." Condescension was heard from the door.

"Say hello to the tyrant." Warrick muttered.

"We were just checking up on Sara." Greg explained.

"Sara." Ecklie called out her name with his usual emphasis on the last 'a'. "I didn't know you were showing up today."

"Umm… well, I…" Sara looked uncomfortably at the lean, balding man standing at the doorway.

"So, you remember everything now?" He asked.

"Not quite." She answered carefully.

"Ah. Well, in that case we don't want you having any accidents in the lab, now do we?" His smile was hard.

"Grissom asked her to come. It might help her memory." Catherine came from behind Ecklie, her tone crisp.

"Well, the lab has a lot of work to do, Catherine. I would like tours and exhibitions to be kept minimal." Ecklie gave one long look at Sara. "I'm speaking for your own good."

"Okay, I may be very wrong out here or plain paranoid, but does that guy have something against me?" Sara questioned once Ecklie was gone.

"Never mind Ecklie. He just likes flaunting his superiority around." Nick scoffed.

"And his position is?"

"Assistant director." Four voices replied sadly.

* * *

The sense of familiarity returned with a full force when Sara walked into Grissom's office. Never ending stacks of books and science journals lined up along the wall. The center terminal was replete with tanks that appeared to contain all the species of the Phylum Arthropoda.

"Nice place you have here." Sara remarked dryly.

"I know, it's very relaxing." He grinned. "So, how are you doing?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm fine and running."

"And the remembering?"

"Well, that's not fine and running." Sara sighed.

"Catherine told me you remembered something from Eddie Willows' case."

Sara clasped her fingers and balanced her chin on them. "Catherine doesn't seem to like talking about it and I didn't want to upset her. I can't really describe what I remembered. It seemed more like a dream than a memory."

"You can tell me, Sara." Grissom brought himself closer, his voice dispassionate but soft.

"I saw him. He was shot but there wasn't much blood. I saw water… like a river or a lake." Sara closed her eyes and thought hard. "Lindsay was scared. There were police sirens everywhere. Then I saw someone… a woman… younger than me, I think… her hair was colored. I think I saw labs… like something out here. And… and…" She sighed and shook her head. "Everything's so jumbled that I'm not even sure what came first."

"It's ok, just tell me what else you saw."

"Catherine was angry at me. Her eyes seemed to accuse me of something. She looked so different. For me it was like…" She paused, looking for a way to form her words. "Like I wanted to fight her but I was also feeling kinda guilty."

"Hmm… and you didn't tell Catherine what you saw." He framed it more as a statement than a question.

"I mentioned Lindsay's father and Catherine became agitated. Did something bad happen to him?" Sara frowned.

"Yes. Why didn't you tell Catherine?" He pressed.

Sara gave a small shrug. "Grissom, I don't remember Catherine or anyone else in Vegas apart from you. And here she and Lindsay are making sure that I'm comfortable and taken care of. How could I have told them that I remembered something like this? I'm not even sure if what I saw was what really happened. Did it really happen?"

"Eddie Willows died… umm… after being shot. You were in charge of the case." Grissom took off his glasses and played with the frame. "It's not my place to give you anymore details."

"I screwed up, didn't I? I must have screwed up on Eddie's case. Why else would Catherine seem so angry at me?" Sara tried to analyze.

"You are a CSI, Sara. Your job was to follow the evidence to where it takes you. Sometimes, there's just not enough evidence and that doesn't make it your fault."

"But that was Catherine's husband! God, so that's what happened? I couldn't help her catch whoever shot Lindsay's father. And she's still helping me through this? Why, Grissom?" Sara was distressed.

"You have a lot of questions whose answers individually won't make any sense, Sara. I'm not sure why she's doing this but like everyone else, I have my theories. Theories are not reality. Wait for your memory to come back. You'll get all your answers connected and in context."

"You are a very infuriating man, you know that?" Sara glared at him. "Just to let you know, I remembered some things about us too."

"Us?" Grissom was stunned.

"Yeah, I remember how you made me autopsy a starfish on our first date." Sara smirked.

"That wasn't a date." Grissom murmured sheepishly. "But you have to admit you liked it. I even asked you if you would like to consider forensics as a career."

"And I replied that you were the last person I would like to end up as." Sara laughed.

"In the book of life every page has two sides: we human beings fill the upper side with our plans, hopes and wishes, but providence writes on the other side, and what it ordains is seldom our goal." Grissom quoted Nisami.

"Grissom, could you not tell Catherine I told you all this? I don't want her to think that I don't trust her." Sara requested.

"Sara, I'm not in the habit of circulating office gossip." His face was unreadable. "As long as what you hide has nothing to do with the immediate case we are working on, what you choose to do is your personal business."

"But it seems as if we are all friends out here. And _we_ are friends. At least, we were before I came to Vegas." Sara paled. "Wait, let me guess, you have a no-friend policy during work."

"Friendship isn't a stable event, Sara." He leant back. "When you came to work here, our friendship... you can say, modified."

"I see." Sara crossed her arms. "You won't be hiding anything from me, right?"

"Nothing that is important enough to discuss right now." Grissom said after a few seconds of silence.

* * *

"So, let me understand this, Mrs. Donner." Jim Brass leant forward. "You don't know what happened to the car Joseph Burke left you?"

"No, I've already told you that." Abigail Donner was a slight woman with ash-blonde hair and a piercing in her nose.

"Well, by all records, the car is yours." Brass gave a dangerous smile. "Okay, I'll uh accept what you told me. But can you explain how did a glass manufactured in your husband's factory end up inside the victim's pocket?"

"Don't you think you should be asking my husband this?" Abigail retorted.

"We will, eventually. But you see, there are just too many factors connecting you to the murders. Umm… protocols need to be followed, right?"

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes.

"You also work in a hardware assembly industry, am I correct?"

"Yes."

"So, you must know what a heat sink is." Brass smiled smoothly again.

"Yeah." She raised her eyebrows. "Where are you getting with this?"

"I was coming to that." He clasped his hands in front. "You see, we found a special kind of grease on the surface of a car where a CSI was left after being assaulted. It's a grease specifically used in heat sinks."

She laughed wryly. "Wait, I work in Phoenix, Arizona. You think I'll wear my dirty work clothes from there?"

"Sometimes, you forget to clean a little spot on your clothes, shoes, bags, it happens."

"I work in a hardware company, so what? A thousand others do too."

"Yeah but the car we found her in belongs to only you."

Abigail swallowed hard, fear beginning to seep through the cracks of her confidence. "Look, I don't know anything about an assault, alright? Yeah, that car belonged to me and Joseph but after he died… I left. I had no idea that the car was mine. I figured they took it over or something, you know? And me and Joseph… well, I loved him and his death was painful to me… so I left and I only come back to visit my momma, that's it."

"Did Joseph have any friends?" Brass quizzed.

"Not that I know of. I mean, yeah, he used to hang around people from work sometimes but mainly he stayed with me. He wasn't a very outgoing man." She shrugged.

"These people from work, do you know their names or addresses?"

"No, not really.'

On the other side of the one-way mirror, Catherine watched the interrogation of Abigail Donner. Nearly twenty years of working in this field had taught her that she must only trust the evidence for those don't lie. People can sometimes put on the most convincing façade and fool you and she had certainly learnt that the hard way. But even then, she couldn't completely detach herself from trying to read people for lies. She believed there were certain twitches in most ordinary people's behavior when they lied. Now, as she was watching Abigail Donner, something within her said that the woman was telling the truth.

"Catherine." Nick strode towards her.

"Hey, have something for me?" She glanced at the sheet of paper in his hands.

"Yep, we found that Joseph Burke had a step brother. His mother left his father because the guy was having an affair. Umm… there isn't much to show that Joseph's mom had any contacts with her ex or her ex's new family. They lived in LA. But Jordan Burke, the younger brother, paid a visit to Vegas five years ago. Highway patrol had caught him speeding."

"Five years ago." Catherine wondered aloud. "That was around the same time that Joseph had an accident?"

"Yes."

"And no one suspected any foul play?"

Nick shook his head.

"So, where's Jordan Burke now?"

"That's the thing; no one has seen him since then."

"What?" She was shocked. "You mean he disappeared around the time his brother died in an accident?"

"Yep." Nick answered grimly.

"Okay, this case just keeps getting weird." She rubbed her temples.

"Oh, there's more." Nick smirked at the incredulous expression on Catherine's face. "Joseph Burke used to take night classes at UNLV. The course was Astronomy."

"Astronomy? Which means he would know a lot about solar eclipses." She thinned her lips. "Too bad he's dead or else he would have made a very good suspect."

"Well, he might have friends in those night classes. You know, someone with as much knowledge about solar eclipses. Maybe someone he got really close to and they kind of _borrowed_ his car after he died." Nick suggested.

"But where does Jordan Burke tie into all of this?"

"Maybe it's just a coincidence." Nick shrugged.

"Okay, get names and addresses of all the students who were enrolled in his same class. We can ask them if anyone knew Joseph Burke or who he hanged out with. Maybe uncovering Burke's life is just the key to finding our murderer." Catherine turned her head towards the door as Abigail Donner stepped out of the room.

* * *


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Sara concentrated intensely at Wendy who was staring into the microscope and taking notes. She listened to Wendy ask her random questions about DNA isolation and identification and Sara answered. It was a way to test whether her forensic skills were still intact in her memory. Sara hadn't taken any biology lessons in college and therefore any cell molecular knowledge she had would have come from her studies in criminology.

"Minor histones can vary between species. The major ones, utilized primarily as structural support for DNA strands, are highly conserved across species." Sara answered to Wendy's question.

"I guess I read correct about amnesia. You retain most of your implicit memory. I suppose you don't ever recall learning about this?" Wendy asked.

"I think I might have read something about it in high school biology." Sara frowned. "But I'm pretty sure I didn't learn it then."

"Hmm…" Wendy murmured absently as she scribbled down few more lines.

Ecklie's warning made it clear that none of the lab members should abandon important work to show Sara Sidle around. While the rest of them had reluctantly returned to processing a crime scene, Catherine had asked Sara to stay in her office. She had spent an hour observing the tiniest things in the room. Sara had noted that Catherine and Grissom were as different as two supervisors could possibly be. While Grissom's office screamed academic clutter, Catherine's cabin elicited an aura of tasteful elegance. She had noticed Ecklie watching Catherine with a mixture of lust and adoration. With Grissom, even his hellos had been forced. They even differed in the way they interacted with their team. Grissom's aloofness came from his introverted personality and not arrogance. Catherine, on the other hand, was a talking type but her body language always ensured everyone know she was in charge.

Sara had been slightly disturbed to find this side of Catherine sparking a weak sign of recognition in her memory. It was as if she _knew_ this Catherine more than she _knew_ the Catherine she had seen for the past week.

One hour cooped up in the office had made Sara restless and she decided to wander about the lab on her own. She had stopped when she saw a dark-haired girl she thought she recognized. The girl was friendly and introduced herself as Wendy, the DNA technician. After being assured that she wouldn't be disturbing, Sara settled beside Wendy and thus started the quiz sessions.

"So, umm, you are comfortable at Catherine's place?" Wendy tried to make it sound casual but her curiosity sliced through.

"Yes." Sara replied. "Why, you didn't expect me to be?"

"No, no… why should I think that." Wendy forced a laugh.

"No, I just wondered since just about everyone is asking me whether I'm okay at Catherine's place." Sara frowned.

"Oh… umm… I guess it's because we know that you are so independent." Wendy justified. "I mean, it must be difficult for you."

"Well, yeah, I guess it is." She admitted. "But Catherine has been really great. I mean, she didn't have to take care of me, you know?"

"Yeah." Wendy avoided looking at Sara. "Here take a look at this." She fixed the microscope's resolution and gestured for Sara to come nearer. While Sara was looking into the eyepiece, Wendy inwardly reminded herself not to tread on dangerous waters again. Grissom had warned them all from mentioning the Great War.

"Chromatin." Sara murmured, looking at the clusters of thread-like structure.

* * *

"There was something I've been meaning to do for a long time but believe it or not, I keep getting distracted." Catherine said, as she steered her Denali across the deserted streets of Vegas. 

"What?" Sara asked, sleepily.

"Check in my purse. You'll find a small notebook."

Sara did as Catherine said. She carefully fished through the hand mirror, mascara, tissue packs and Nicorette sticks and found a small notepad. She took it out and suddenly it struck her.

"This is mine." Sara exclaimed.

"Yes." If Catherine was surprised that Sara recognized her book, she didn't show it. "You've written down some notes from the case. But as I said those were short hand and err… sort of hard to decipher."

Sara shrugged, "I think I'll be able to recognize my short hand."

"I hope so. Every time we think we've got some road to the heart of the case, we reach a dead end."

"Okay, I'll get started with this right away." Now that she had a mission, Sara had forgotten her drowsiness. In the muted brightness of the street lights, Sara flipped through the pages. She recognized the tiny chicken scratches. She recognized the symbols she had created to represent long words. She also knew the single, double or multiple asterisks she used for connecting different paragraphs. She could make out much of the words. But she would need more time to associate all the words together to form legible sentences.

"How was it in the lab today?" Catherine asked.

"Good." Sara replied absently.

"I'm sorry I couldn't show you around."

"That's ok, Greg did."

"I wanted to but what with the heavy backlog of cases and Ecklie breathing down on our necks…"

"I understand, Catherine."

"It was my original plan to familiarize you with the lab, you know, and maybe see what comes back to you. But we got some new leads with the case and then Abigail Donner was there for questioning and I wanted to see…"

"Cath, I said I understand." Sara interrupted bluntly.

"Oh." Catherine turned towards Sara who was as engrossed with the notebook as a child is with a new toy.

"You know you could read that when we get home. You'll ruin your eyesight." Catherine spoke.

"I've been in worse situations." Sara replied, not removing her concentration from the book.

"Sara." She sounded slightly annoyed.

Sara glanced up in bewilderment. "I thought you wanted me to decode it for you as soon as possible."

"Yes, but…" Catherine calmed herself, not quite sure why she was annoyed in the first place. "The reason to bring you to the lab was to see whether you'll remember anything. But you haven't told me if anything happened, if there was any improvement, a recovery."

"There was something but I can't quite say what." Sara answered evasively.

"Sara, did something happen at the lab today?"

"Why would you say that?" She was a little more defensive than intended.

"I don't know... you seem… different." Catherine murmured.

"I'm not." Sara stared at the rearview mirror. She heard Catherine mutter something under her breath. Sara didn't want to distance herself from Catherine. But talking with Grissom and visiting the lab seemed to have stirred some dormant unhappy memories without entirely awakening them. Sara was starting to despise this dependence, this feeling of being lost inside her own mind.

"Catherine?"

"What?" She was a little pissed.

"I'm sorry." And Sara added silently, '_For everything'_.

* * *


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"**Mama?** **Mama?" Sara Sidle knocked on the door of the trailer. She could hear screams from inside. It wasn't a new thing for her. She was used to heated outbursts in her home as much as a garbage pickup man was used to the smell. But she had just collected orders from customers and an argument meant her mother wouldn't have enough time to see to them.**

"**Mama, it's Sara. Open the door!" She yelled. Suddenly the rusted tin door of the trailer was yanked open and her father stood there, eyeing her angrily.**

"**What's the matter with you, girlie? Can't ya see your mama and I are busy." He rasped.**

"**Papa, I…" She began and he slapped her across the cheek.**

"**Shut up! Go back to your stupid books and don't bother me." He proceeded to close the door at her. Sara was afraid, very afraid, of her father. But there were those customers…**

"**Papa, please! Mama needs to cook. I've got orders. Please!" She pleaded.**

"**You don't listen, do you?" His anger boiled in his eyes. "I said, shut the fuck up and leave!" He pushed her and she landed on the dirt. Gordon Sidle then kicked her leg as if she was a stray dog.**

Catherine rushed into the guest room and was horrified to find the bed empty.

"Sara!" She neared the bed and looked past the crumpled sheets to finally notice Sara lying down on the ground. Her legs were still tangled in the blankets but her upper body must be cold for she had curled up her hands by her chest.

"Sara?" Catherine shook her gently. Sara shuddered and her eyelids were twitching.

**Sara was trying to pick herself up from the floor. But between the hurt in her knees and the uncontrolled tears falling from her eyes, all she could do was writhe and sob.**

"**I tell you again and again to mind your fucking business!" Gordon spat on the ground. "Gonna sell you to Dirk Snakey if you don't listen." He bent and hit her face once again.**

"Sara, why are you crying?" Catherine's concern was turning into full-blown alarm.

Sara clutched Catherine's nightgown and pulled her closer. Scared, Catherine shook the brunette hard. Sara started to fight but then her eyes opened.

Sara couldn't understand what had happened. One moment, she was being beaten by her father and the next she was staring into the most beautiful pair of blue eyes. Aching and frightened, Sara immediately hugged whoever was leaning by her.

"Don't let him hit me." She sobbed into Catherine's shoulder.

"Shhh… nobody's going to hurt you." Catherine brushed away the wet strands of hair on Sara's head.

"Don't let him, please!" Sara encircled her arms around the woman's neck and felt the warmth flowing within her once again.

"Let's get you back on the bed, ok?" Sara was heavier but she didn't protest so Catherine was able to lift her up and push her back on the mattress.

"You are safe here, Sara." She whispered as she tucked her into the covers.

"Don't leave!" Sara had a death grip on her wrists.

"Sweetie, everything's fine. Nobody is going to hurt you." Catherine patted her arm.

"No, no, stay, please stay." Sara's screeched. Her eyes were wide and confused and Catherine was sure that the woman wasn't aware of what she was saying. But she herself was scared. Sara, the ever-composed, ever-practical, ever-strong Sara was gone and instead a small, vulnerable child was pleading for her to stay.

"Alright." Catherine sighed. She slid in beside Sara and ensured that the blanket sufficiently covered them both. "I'm here and nothing is going to happen to you. You get that? I won't let anything happen to you."

Sara's eyelids were already drooping but she feebly nodded. She threw her free arm around Catherine's waist and fell asleep.

* * *

Two things struck Sara immediately when she woke up. One was the unusually bright sunlight filtering through the blinds and second was the even more unusual weight across her chest. She tried to turn her head but found another head buried in the crook of her neck. From the corner of her eye, she saw a mane of glorious reddish- blonde hair. _Definitely female­- _Sara thought. She stayed where she was for a while, as she tried to swim past the murky waters of sleep back to reality.

_Me… Sara Sidle… Home… Tamales_ _Bay_… _no, Harvard… no, no, Vegas… Vegas? Yes, accident… no memory… CSI… Grissom… Catherine… Catherine? Catherine! Oh God!_

Sara turned again. Her chin hit the top of the woman's head.

"Mmph…hmm." Catherine mumbled into the pillow.

_What the hell am I doing in Catherine's bed? No wait… this is not Catherine's bedroom. This is the guest room. This is where I was sleeping. This is the bed I sleep in. Which means…. What the hell is Catherine doing in my bed?_ - Sara's head was throbbing.

_Okay… remember… remember._

_Did something happen to Catherine's room? No._

_Did you drink last night? Can't remember._

_Are you naked? I don't think… what? No! There's no way…_ - But Sara was already running her fingers over herself – _Okay, I'm fully clothed. So it means we didn't have sex. So **what** are we doing beside each other?_

Sara slowly inched away. She ignored all the different hormone signals which were telling her that she was enjoying the feel of Catherine.

"Sara?" Catherine opened her eyes.

"C-Catherine…H-hi." Sara gave the widest smile possible.

"What time is it?" Catherine rubbed her eyes.

"Umm… err… not too sure." _This is not happening! I'm either dreaming or along with being amnesiac I've also turned crazy._

"How are you feeling?" Catherine looked worried.

_Horny as hell._ "Uhm… fine… why?"

"Sara, do you remember having nightmares?" Catherine propped herself on her elbow.

"Nightmares?"

"Yes, I woke up this morning and you were panicked… almost delirious."

"Did I say something?" Sara asked.

"I couldn't hear much but you were begging someone to not hit you."

_Uh oh!_- Sara swallowed- _Now, I get **which** nightmares._

"Tell me what happened, Sara." Catherine probed gently.

"Nothing… I can't remember. Not being able to remember seems to have become my motto nowadays, huh?" Sara attempted to joke.

Catherine didn't smile. "Look, if there's anything you need to talk about then you should. It helps spilling it out."

"I'm fine, honest. But thanks nevertheless."

"Sara, wait. Tell me what's going on." Her voice did not encourage any argument.

"Catherine, it was just about my childhood, ok? It's no biggie." Sara sighed and pulled herself out of bed. The chill shocked her and she rubbed herself.

"What happened in your childhood? Who hurt you?"

"It was a long time ago. Can we not talk about it?"

"Goddamit, Sara, why couldn't you have forgotten your stubbornness instead? What will it take you to understand that there are people who want to help you?" Catherine's eyes flashed angrily.

"Help? How can you help me? You can't help me! And why are you being so nice to me? I didn't help you when you needed me!" Sara's voice broke.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Catherine, let's just forget it."

"No, let's not just forget it." Catherine firmly put down. "God knows how much we keep leaving unsaid."

"About Eddie…" Sara shoulders slumped in defeat. "I didn't help you find his murderer." She put up her hand to stop whatever Catherine was about to say. "Grissom didn't really tell me directly but I figured it out. I let you down. You must have hated me then. You must have despised my incompetence."

"Sara, I…" Catherine found her throat dry. "I admit, that time I was really angry. But I forgave you even though there wasn't anything to forgive. We talked about it and I hold no grudges against you."

"We talked about it? You aren't angry with me about that?" Sara felt hope rise inside her.

"Nope."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Honest?"

"Honest."

"Cross your heart?"

"Sara."

Sara grinned. "Thanks Cath." She rushed to the washroom before Catherine was reminded to ask about the nightmare.

_Yes, I forgave you. But I doubt you'll forgive me when you come to know what I did to you_ – Catherine thought as she stroked the pillow where Sara has slept on.

* * *


	17. Chapter 16

For those of you who don't know or forgot, Brenda Collins is the little girl from the episode, _Blood Drops_. I haven't put too many spoilers though.

Thanks again to all those who read and review. Please continue reviewing! You guys are my incentive.

**Chapter Sixteen**

"RV 1.3 E means 1.3 miles east of the Riviera. I checked the directory and there's a place called the Madness Club around that same distance. This comes to my next one. MC 105 which means Madness Club room # 105. I think I found a lead that took me to MC 105." Sara had a sheet of paper out on the dining table in front of Catherine.

"Bro 11-15?" Catherine frowned.

"Brother was there from 11 AM to 3 PM."

"Brother of?"

She shrugged. "I'm still working on that."

"We found you 16 miles from Vegas towards Boulder City." Catherine rubbed her chin. "You found anything about that yet?"

"Sorta. Look at this." She pointed at a hastily drawn map. "These three red dots show Vegas, Boulder City and Henderson. And then you see all these black dots? Those could be important places. I found out those were gas stations. There must be a reason why I recorded all the gas station locations."

"Hmm… definitely." Catherine nodded. "I'll have Brass check up these gas stations. What else?"

"A number of words but quite unrelated." Sara shook her head. "For example, you see this long paragraph. Let me tell you first how much I hate long paragraphs." She smirked. "I prefer point-form notes. So, pushing everything in a para is quite unlike me."

"Maybe it's a quote or a direct reference from a book?" Catherine tried.

"I suppose that's possible. These numbers all look like footnotes but I can't figure out from where."

"So, that's it then?" Catherine plucked out her glasses.

"I'm afraid so." Sara muttered regretfully.

"Hey Sara, you are doing your best. It's not your fault that you were attacked. If you want, you could give this a rest while…"

"No, I want to help." Sara asserted. "Every time I think that a psycho is running loose and targeting some another innocent victim, I get the chills."

Catherine rubbed her neck. "I know what you mean. I went nuts when Grissom asked me to close the case in 2002. Not only did I fail to give justice to the victims' families, there was also the fear that he could strike again."

"And we are still no closer to finding him." Sara sighed.

"We didn't have you on the case then." Catherine smiled. "As soon as you can crack this Da Vinci Code of yours, the guy's ours."

"Any progress in the lab?"

"None. Other cases hardly leave us time to work on this one. Ecklie doesn't really care about this one because it's not 'high profile'." Catherine played the air quotes.

"Is that guy for real?" Sara shook her head.

At that time Catherine's phone rang.

"Yeah? Oh hey Nick… what? Where?... no, no problem… I'll be there…. Have you told Grissom yet?... ok, I know what you mean…. ask David to wait until I come."

"A case?" It didn't take long for Sara to surmise.

"Yep. Our guy." Catherine's face had paled considerably.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to come with you." Sara requested.

"Sara, I really don't think it's a good idea."

"Catherine, I sometimes get these odd flashes of memory but nothing comes of it. I'm tired of being able to do nothing to catch that creep. Maybe what I need is…"

"A dead body?" Catherine snapped.

"I'll sit in the car if you want. I won't disturb your crime scene. I just want to have a feel of it."

"Grissom won't allow it."

"Grissom doesn't have to know." Sara stated.

"Sara…" Catherine let out a deep breath. "Alright. But you must promise not to come out of the car. You might endanger yourself not to mention you will destroy the crime scene."

"I promise."

"Let's go."

* * *

Reporters strained against the crime scene tape to catch a quick photo. Cameras flashed and questions were shouted. Uniformed officers struggled to keep the media hounds at bay.

Catherine spotted a tall, lean man in a dark suit. "Detective Vartann." She called out.

"Catherine." He acknowledged. "Let's talk here." He led her to a relatively quiet corner. "Her name was Mimi. She was a refugee from Libya. Mrs. Palmer runs a foster care and Mimi was one of the kids here. Another kid found Mimi in the backyard."

Det. Vartann paused and looked around at the increasing crowd. "Speculations are running wild right now. I heard that that the MO was similar to some other case you are working on."

"It's too early to say anything." Catherine replied cautiously. "The body's still in the backyard?" Vartann nodded.

Back in Catherine's Denali, Sara pulled down the windows and stretched her head out to get a better look. It was hard to see past the noisy crowds but she had caught a glimpse of Catherine talking to someone before disappearing around the side of the house. She noticed a bunch of young children boxed up in the back seat of a police sedan. They looked frightened and were clearly shivering underneath their blankets.

Suddenly one of them, a girl of not more than ten, turned and stared directly into Sara's eyes. She felt the strangest feeling creep inside her. Recognition shone in those eyes and before Sara could even think, the girl had pushed open her side of the door and leapt out. Sara stared numbly as the little kid raced across towards the Denali.

"Sara!" She shouted.

A name… a memory was crawling its way to the back of her mind. Sara opened the passenger door and the girl jumped in.

"Sara!" She threw her arms around the bewildered brunette and enveloped her in the fiercest of hugs. Sara could only speechlessly stroke the blonde curls as the child shuddered against her. She didn't know for how long they sat like that but she was immensely irritated at being interrupted by a knock.

"Yeah?" She saw that it was an officer.

"Ma'am, you need to step out of the car and please bring Ms. Collins with you too." The guy instructed. He looked like a rookie.

Sara reluctantly did as she was told. The little girl had tightened her hold around Sara's neck. Sara murmured few words of comfort and then faced the officer.

"Ma'am, are you a relative or a friend of Mrs. Palmer?"

"Mrs. Who?"

The guy didn't response. "How about Ms. Collins here?"

"Why are you asking me all these questions?"

"Sara?" Nick came towards them, surprise clearly written on him.

"Sir, do you know her?" The officer asked.

"Yeah, she's a CSI." Nick answered.

"Oh." The guy shrugged apologetically. "Since the little girl was here, I thought… sorry for that." He awkwardly moved away.

"Sara, what are you doing here?" Nick placed his hands on his hips.

"Nick, who's she?" Sara ignored his question.

"Sara, what the…" Catherine stepped towards them. "I thought I asked you to stay in the car."

"She's with Sara." Nick turned towards the senior CSI.

"How did she come here?" Catherine was livid.

"I don't know."

"Guys, I'm still here." Sara said, shortly. "Now will someone tell me who she is."

"She's the girl who found the body." Catherine murmured. "Brenda Collins."

"Brenda Col…" Pain and light-headedness washed over Sara. "Brenda? Oh my God!"

* * *


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

Catherine was just finished discussing the body with Doc. Mimi was like a wrench thrown inside a well-oiled machine. She brought a halt to the routine, almost unnoticeable, turning of the wheels and sent an entire shift of laborers and engineers into a flurry of activity.

Mimi had the unmistakable eclipse sketch on her torso. Her throat was slashed and her left breast removed. There were signs of sexual assault. But this time, the killer took off with a lot more. He had cut off her fingers and left her stark naked and both these processes had occurred post-mortem according to the ME. Nick was scavenging the neighborhood for signs of bloodied clothes or a knife. Mimi's body had caused a new adrenaline rush into a case that was heading nowhere. Added to it were the fact that there were far more evidence to collect this time.

Brenda had been the first one to find the body. Mrs. Palmer had found both Brenda and Mimi's corpse. According to Mrs. Palmer, Brenda was standing by the body, mute and immobile.

Brenda had refused to let go of Sara's hand and Catherine was forced to ask Sara to accompany them to the HQ. She was mentally preparing herself for a lecture from an angry Grissom. She had offered Sara her office to take the time to calm Brenda down. Sara hadn't spoken much except for wording solace to Brenda. Sara amazed Catherine. Watching Sara interact with Brenda had a strange mesmerizing quality. Catherine admitted that even though she was a mother, she hadn't interacted with other children this tenderly.

Nobody wanted to tear Brenda away from Sara. But questions needed to be asked and Grissom finally convinced Sara to let go of the girl.

Catherine watched Sara lead Brenda towards Det. Vartann. Brenda kept her eyes on Sara the whole time until Vartann turned into the next corridor and both of them were gone from sight. Greg and Nick were standing close to Sara, afraid that she might break. Warrick was passing by when he noticed her and the perceptible tension in the air. He tried to make small talk with Nick but anyone could see that he was there only to give Sara any kind of support she needs.

Sara abruptly turned her head and stared right at Catherine. She couldn't quite comprehend her expression but she was saved the trouble when Sara spoke.

"I remember her. I remember everything about her." She paused, dramatically. "I remember everything up till her."

The astounded silence lasted perhaps a second before Greg broke it with his exuberant shout. Nick and Warrick yelled out a "Dude, that's awesome" together. Grissom slowly walked towards Sara, his face creased wide with mirth.

As for Catherine, her own reaction shocked her, confused her, and worse, frightened her. Instead of the delight she knows she should be feeling, dense sensations of nervousness and distress chilled her. The rest of the team were cheering and clapping over this small but significant development and she only felt as if someone had kicked her in her guts. Afraid that people will notice her face and ask questions, she quietly slipped away and rushed towards the washroom.

Once there, she stared at the person in the mirror. Looking into her own eyes brought her to the startling realization - _I don't want her to remember!

* * *

_


	19. Chapter 18

Thank goodness for vacations after exams ;) Because everyone has been so sweet _and_ because I won't be updating for a while, I'm putting up 4 chapters together (yay). Please carry on with the customary R&Rs :)

**Chapter Eighteen**

Brenda Collins was done with the questioning, though by the looks of Vartann's grim jaw, it didn't seem as if she gave him much. Mrs. Palmer was in next and Catherine insisted on handling it. It gave her an opportunity to do some work and avoid talking to Sara.

Mrs. Palmer was a tall woman with graying hair and an old-fashioned woolen dress. She had the weary look of someone who has seen the darker sides of life.

"Mrs. Palmer." Catherine addressed her.

"Grace, please." She insisted. Catherine nodded and sat down opposite the woman.

"Grace, where was Mimi the entire morning?" Catherine asked.

"She was at home. She told me that she was coming down with something and she couldn't make it to school." Grace Palmer had the slightest hint of an English accent.

"And what about you?"

"I had to go to Children's Services. They had a new kid they wanted me to take in."

"So, Mimi was all alone at home?"

"No, Brenda wanted to stay with her. Those two are… I mean, were… very close, just like sisters. I figured since I'll be out for much of the morning, Brenda could stay away from school for a day to take care of Mimi."

"So what happened when you returned home?"

"I asked the girls to come down and have lunch but they didn't. I went up and saw that Mimi and Brenda's rooms were empty. Then from the window I saw Brenda in the backyard. I assumed they were playing, you know? But when I went there…" Her breath caught in her throat and she quaked.

"I'm really sorry about what happened, Grace." Catherine spoke sincerely. "I know this is a hard time for you."

"I've seen some pretty bad things in my life. My father devoted his life to the orphans in India. Then I married a guy who worked at the UNO. He got murdered in Kenya three summers ago. Then there are these kids. They have all sorts of scary histories, you know? Makes you think these experiences can harden you against all the rotten stuff in this world." She shook her head, dejectedly.

"But it doesn't work that way, does it? You still feel deeply." Catherine expressed her understanding.

Grace's eyes were intense as she fixed them upon Catherine. "Mimi was a real pretty girl, both inside and out. I'm not just saying this to be nice but I mean it. She was quiet and so innocent of all the bad things around. I want you to find the bastard who did this to her."

* * *

Neither Sara nor Catherine was in a mood to talk as they returned back to Catherine's house after the graveyard shift. Both were wondering what the other was thinking. 

Sara had been troubled by the lack of reaction from Catherine after her big announcement. The others were convinced that it was worth nothing short of a celebration. Grissom had reluctantly asked them to hold all happiness until after cracking the case. One look at the traumatized face of Brenda Collins had brought them back to their stark responsibilities. Grace Palmer had informed them that she would be taking the children to her sister's. Her house was now a crime scene and blocked from the rest of the world by the yellow tape.

Before leaving, Grace had given Sara her contact number. She didn't ask how the brunette knew Brenda. In fact, she didn't even seem all that surprised by Brenda's attachment to Sara. In the midst of all these, Sara hadn't gotten time to talk to Catherine.

Brenda had fractionally opened the dam that held the flood of memories in check. There were still tiny gaps which Sara was trying hard to fill. But she clearly remembered one thing. She remembered the phone call from Grissom asking her help on a case. She remembered arriving in Vegas, ambition swelling inside of her. She was going to work in the second best crime lab in the country, topped only by the FBI's own in Quantico. However, her arrival had garnered a chilly response from the lab members, particularly the woman whom she was supposed to assist, Catherine Willows.

Sara stole a look at Catherine. The older woman's jaw was set hard and Sara unconsciously moved a little further away. The last she recalled, they hadn't been on very good terms. While the others had slowly accepted this newcomer, Catherine hadn't kept down her snide remarks which would promptly remind Sara that she was an outsider.

Catherine, on the other hand, was struggling to resolve her conflicting emotions. Ever since the day of Sara's accident, she had been plagued with guilt. Everyday she went to sleep praying that Sara would recover soon and get her life back. Catherine cannot imagine ever forgiving herself if Sara never remembered who she was for the past fifteen years. But now that, almost nine years of memory had miraculously leapt back from obscurity, Catherine was afraid. She was frightened that the small bubble which had built around their home for the past two weeks would burst. She was frightened that Sara would not only remember facts, events, or faces but also feelings such as hatred and bitterness.

And Catherine chided herself for her fear. Sara wasn't her property. Hell, she wasn't really a friend either. She didn't know what to call the relationship they had, but she knew that it hung on a very thin thread. Once snapped, it won't take too long for both of them to fall back to their old animosity.

Lately, Catherine had been receiving and giving signals, even without being completely aware of it. There was that instance when they had woken up in bed together. She had woken up a little earlier than Sara and had watched the brunette. She had then placed a hand across Sara and nestled against the warm body, pretending to sleep.

Then there are the moments when they would watch TV. Lindsay was resolute to take her place in between the two women. Sara's habit was to casually throw her arm around Lindsay and let her fingers rest on Catherine's back. Once, Lindsay had left to answer a very lengthy phone call, leaving the two alone. Out of the blue, Sara had laid her head on Catherine's shoulders. Without thinking she had begun to stroke Sara's hair and they had completed the rest of the movie in that position.

They talked about everything and nothing, though they completely avoided sensitive life details. Catherine loved to challenge Sara only to engage in a healthy debate for the next couple of hours. She loved Sara's sense of humor and the odd mischievous smile she would throw. She loved how Sara transformed into someone not much older than thirteen for the sake of Lindsay. Catherine had even caught Sara playing Barbie with Lindsay! She loved the desserts the younger woman made. Her heart would melt like the chocolate on the mousse when she saw her daughter's eyes brighten in ecstasy. She loved how her daughter's grades had leapt from a C to an A all because of Sara. She loved how Sara sportingly offered to fix her broken patio door, her oven and the basement light fixtures. She loved listening to Sara sing to herself while working. Lindsay had even said Sara should participate in American Idol. Then Lindsay could boast to her classmates that her best friend was an Idol winner. Sara had scrunched her nose at the suggestion but Catherine had caught them miming music videos in front of the TV, using the remote control as a mike no less.

Catherine was beginning to love Sara's presence in her house.

* * *


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

The silent stance continued even until they reached Catherine's modest stucco home. The neighbor's car was just sliding down the driveway, getting to work no doubt. Catherine politely greeted them with a wave.

"Are you mad at me?" Sara asked once they were inside. Catherine was slightly shocked at Sara's question and she fished for a good way to return.

"Why should I be?" Catherine tried to sound nonchalant.

"You tell me."

"I'm not, Sara."

"We need to talk." Sara firmly said.

"About what?"

"About me, about you, about us."

"Us?"

"Am I your friend? Am I just a coworker? Did they force you to take care of me? Am I simply an obligation?" Sara demanded.

"Sara, that's not true!" Catherine denied. "Nobody forced me to do anything."

"According to Nick, that case with Brenda Collins happened around six years ago. At that time I was fresh in Vegas, new to the lab and you guys. You weren't so welcoming."

"No, I wasn't." She agreed.

"Was it because of Holly Gribbs?"

"Among other things." Catherine sighed and surrendered herself on the couch. She was tired, not physically but emotionally. She was still trying to figure out what Sara was starting to mean to her.

"What other things?" Sara wasn't letting down.

"There were all those problems with Warrick. Then the way Grissom was behaving with all of us made me feel inadequate. His bringing you from San Francisco was like a slap to our faces. I also felt as if Grissom wanted you to come and replace Holly and that angered me." Catherine buried her fingers in her hair. "Sara, I have seen numerous deaths in my job but witnessing one from among our own is just… too much. Holly was so young, so idealistic, so eager to learn and also so frightened. And when she died…" She let the rest trail off.

"And you took it out on me?" Sara rasped.

"You made a good punching bag." Catherine humored.

"I wanted to help, Catherine. And do you know how hard it was for me to try and talk to you guys? That was the reason I hated relocating. I have to establish new working relationships and comfort level with strangers. Grissom told me that his team were good people and it brought my hopes up. I was almost about to go back to Frisco after Holly's case. But Grissom asked me to stay. He asked me to give it another shot."

"And you did, Sara." Catherine smiled, in spite of the seriousness of the situation. "You stayed and you became one of us. You may not remember the last six years but let me tell you, any doubts you have regarding your place in the lab will be removed once you recall everything. You, Nick and Greg are as closely knit as triplets. You already have a close friendship with Grissom. Warrick respects you as an excellent team member."

"And how about you?" The information Sara wanted to know.

"We've had our ups and downs." Catherine admitted.

"Like the case with Eddie."

"Like the case with Eddie." Catherine nodded. "But there is something I want you to know, Sara. I loved Eddie and he was Lindsay's father. But as a man and a husband, he was a jerk. He had surrounded himself in so much lies and deceit during his lifetime that even after his death, it was hard to say what was true and what was not about him and the people around him." She realized she was getting edgy and was wringing her hands against each other. "I loved the man I wanted Eddie to be but he never managed to achieve that and I was left with pieces of shattered delusions. But I couldn't allow Lindsay get hurt by its shards. I maintained our family so that she would have a father. His death wasn't a loss to me but was a loss to my family. I think I already lost him the day when I married him. That was the day the charming mask was peeled off to reveal the true nature of the man I wedded."

"So, you were not angry at me but you were angry at yourself." Sara finally understood what Catherine was trying to say.

"I was repeatedly exposing Lindsay to this volatile and insecure presence of Eddie in our lives. Not to mention, I almost jeopardized her life by placing her in his trust."

"Catherine, you were just trying to keep your family together." Sara tried to soothe her.

"No, Sara, I was trying to keep an illusion of a family together. I knew that asking Eddie out of our lives would mean actually accepting that I had made a mistake in loving and marrying that man." It was then that the flimsily held sobs broke out from Catherine.

Sara kneeled down by Catherine and took one of her hands in her own. "Don't blame yourself for wanting to believe in your family. I know what it feels like to live in denial of all the horrible things they do." She rubbed her thumb against Catherine's palm. "You wanted to know who hurt me when I was a kid, right? His name was Gordon Sidle, my father."

Catherine's head jerked up in shock. "What?"

"He hit me and my brother. We never did anything right. He would hit us whether he was angry or just needed to amuse himself. My mother never said stop." Sara's eyes misted. "I think it was because hitting us meant he wouldn't have time or energy to hit her."

She grabbed Sara's arms. "Did he… rape you?"

"No." She shook her head. "Gordon's idea of a turn on wasn't sex. He just loved to be violent. He hit because he could and he enjoyed it. He liked the fact that he could commit such torture and not have anyone retaliate."

"What happened next?" Catherine managed to croak.

"Laura killed him. My mother murdered my father."

Catherine was at a loss for words. She looked at their unmoving hands, clamped together and then to Sara's downward gaze.

"Sara, I…" She didn't know how to finish that sentence. Anything she said would either sound too patronizing or insensitively clichéd.

"It's okay, Cath. I don't want you to sympathize. I just wanted you to know that none of us are above our attachments with families." Sara sighed. "For a long time I believed I was the one who was wrong. It must have been my fault that my parents never gave me the love other kids had. And yet, I think I loved my parents. If you would have asked me to lay down my life for them, I would have done so without a moment's hesitation. They were my family and I desperately clung to them even if it hurt."

Without a word, Catherine hugged the woman close and brought Sara's head to lean on her lap. Sara Sidle had perfected the art of not crying because it denoted weakness and she would never be weak. But right then, with herself snuggled close to Catherine and the gentlest hands comforting her, Sara couldn't stop the thudding of her veins or the flow of tears down her face. Very soon, Sara found herself unburdening in front of Catherine. Every thing that had ever pained her heart, crushed her dreams or pinched her smiles came pouring out.

Catherine listened, rarely interrupting except when she really needed something clarified. She didn't release her hold on Sara, calming the woman as much as herself being calmed. As Sara's past unraveled, Catherine felt neither pity nor disgust. She was filled with marvel for this woman who had endured everything and yet carried on with life. Somehow, it made Sara so much more human, so much more adorable.

_So much more beautiful_

Sara's admissions released the knob that Catherine had built to repress the "dark and wild" portions of her life. Her rebellious teenage years, her depressed promiscuity, her descent into the murky world of strippers and drugs and the tumultuous marriage with Eddie all gushed out.

They weren't aware of how much time had elapsed. The emotional exchanges had drained them both. They could think of nothing nor be bothered with any spark of reason. Hand-in-hand, they climbed up the stairs. Catherine led them both into her room. They were conjoined by a mutual desire to be together. It wasn't sexual, not even romantic, but something much deeper. Sharing their life's truths had somehow appeared to blend them together into one entity. Neither wanted to release the other because that would mean breaking this tender symbiosis between them.

No more was spoken as they climbed into bed together or when they adhered to each other and fell into perhaps one of the most blissful sleeps of their life.

* * *


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

Catherine awoke when she heard her daughter's unmistakable laughter and energetic slamming of doors. She could also hear her sister's soft warning to keep the noise down.

Catherine found it extremely hard to extricate herself from Sara's embrace. Not that she wanted to but she couldn't risk her sister or daughter finding them here and getting the wrong idea. Sara's arms were curved strongly around Catherine and short of jerking them away she didn't know what to do.

"Sara." She finally whispered.

Sara shifted a little but showed no signs of waking up.

"Sara." This time a little forcefully. Sara's eyes snapped open. They were clouded with confusion for a moment, obviously trying to comprehend why she was staring at Catherine.

"Sara, Lindsay's home. I've got to go down and see to her." Catherine sounded woeful.

Sara removed her hands and as if jolted by electricity her body was up and out of bed.

* * *

"Hey, sis!" Nancy Flynn, a slender woman with hair a lighter blonde than Catherine's, greeted with a warm smile.

"Hey Nancy." Catherine kissed her sister's cheeks. "I hardly get to see you now."

"Yeah, I'm still renovating my place. You know how lazy those painters get when you leave them out of sight." Nancy chuckled. "Plus, you said that your friend was taking care of Lindsay for the time being."

"Yep, I didn't want to leave her alone so I threw her and Lindsay together." Catherine laughed.

"Do I get to meet this mystery friend of yours?" Nancy grinned.

"Too late, Aunt Nancy!" Lindsay's voice boomed. "Ladies and ladies, let me introduce to you… the beautiful, the intelligent, the really cool, Sara!"

Sara cheeks turned tomato red as she allowed Lindsay to drag her down the stairs.

"I finally meet Sara Sidle." Nancy smiled. "My sister's one critical nut when it comes to other women. But I can safely say, you are one of the very few in our gender that she actually admires."

"Nancy!"

"Thank you." Sara offered sheepishly.

"Hey Sara, this is Jeremy." Lindsay pulled a freckle-faced, scrawny boy from beside her. "Jeremy, this is Sara."

"Hi Jeremy." Sara smiled.

Lindsay was now talking a mile a minute and Sara was trying to translate it into more coherent sentences. Jeremy stuck close to his cousin, occasionally staring wide-eyed at Sara.

"Hey, I have some groceries in my car. Help me get them, will you?" Nancy had to shout into Catherine's ears to snap her attention away from Sara and the children.

"Uh, yeah, sure." Catherine followed her sister outside.

"So, this is the same Sara Sidle you couldn't stand few months ago?" Nancy asked once they were out of the house.

"That was a long time ago, sis!" Catherine barked.

"I can definitely see that." Nancy murmured cryptically. She unloaded grocery bags from her car and handed them to Catherine.

"You look great." She remarked.

Catherine frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I'm complimenting you, Cath. The least you could do is say thank you." Nancy rolled her eyes.

"I'm still in my work clothes which I slept in. My hair's a mess and I have zero makeup on me. How could I possibly be looking great?"

"You know after Eddie's death something happened to you. I can't describe what but there was definitely something missing. But today, I see that it's returned." Nancy observed.

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"C'mon, spill it already. Who are you dating?"

"No one!"

"Right and I am the Queen of England."

"Nancy, I swear I'm not dating anyone." Catherine grimaced. "And anyways, I'm a little tired of guys walking all over and out on me."

"But there's _definitely_ something going on." Nancy declared. "And not just you, I see it in Lindsay too. Have both of you been visiting some Buddhist retreat by any chance?"

"Yeah, Lindsay will love that." Catherine smirked.

"So _what_ is it?"

"Dear God, Nancy, you are so annoying!"

"I don't see any recent changes in your life. I mean, you haven't modified your house according to Feng Shui or anything so that couldn't be the cause. You haven't even got a new job away from dead bodies, so that couldn't be the cause either. The only change I can see is…" Nancy's eyes widened. "Sara."

"Let's get these groceries in, shall we?" Catherine muttered.

"Sara's the reason, that's interesting." Nancy's brows were knit in thought.

"There is no reason! You just watch too many X Files reruns."

"Hey, and I thought you were the investigator here." Nancy smirked. "Okay, sis… here's the thing. Lindsay talks about _nothing_ else but Sara nowadays. Sara did this, Sara did that, Sara talks this, Sara watches that… you get my point. But the important thing is, Lindsay's so happy when she talks about Sara. Oh yeah, she also mentions how Sara and her Mom accompanies her in the living room and watch TV together."

"Lindsay's a child and she's got a friend. Of course, she'll be happy." Catherine reasoned.

"So, what about you? What is the cause of your happiness?"

"I'm happy because my daughter's happy."

"And how about the person who's making your daughter happy?"

"What about her?" Catherine retorted.

Nancy stood silently, watching her sister for a moment. And then, unexpectedly and to Catherine's chagrin, she broke out into a loud laugh.

"What's so Goddamn funny?"

"You are so dense, it's unbelievable." Nancy wiped tears from her eyes. "It's a good thing it was me who caught you. You should have seen the way you were staring at Sara a few minutes earlier or the way your eyes glisten when Lindsay is holding Sara's hand… or maybe the way you blush like a new bride at the mention of Sara."

"Shut up!"

"Cath, you are attracted to Sara! If you don't already know that, then it's confirmed, I'm the sister with the brains." Nancy clucked her tongue. She dodged when Catherine threw a tissue box at her.

"You better keep your theories to yourself." Catherine threatened but she was already catching her sister's infectious humor and found herself smiling.

"Hey guys, you need any help?" Sara's voice made Catherine literally jump out of her shoes. She glared at Nancy's devilish expression.

"No, we were just coming in." Nancy grinned. "Catherine here is pretty slow. See how long it takes her to bring a few bags of groceries out of the car."

That earned Nancy a smack on her shoulders. Catherine walked through her door, cursing under her breath.

* * *

Catherine convinced Nancy to stay until dinner. She was half-eager to catch up with her sister and half-afraid to spend time alone with Sara. What happened that morning between them was both wonderful and disturbing. Added to it were Nancy's teasing innuendos and now Catherine found it hard to talk or look at Sara without blushing. 

Nancy had now taken it as her personal mission to find out more about Sara and the two were chatting like old ladies as they marinated the corn cob. As for Catherine, well, she was struggling to not ogle at the way Sara smiled or the curve of her hips when she leant against the wall.

All through dinner, Nancy barraged Sara with questions about San Francisco, Harvard, Physics, school life, college life, coroner work to less serious topics like surfing and music. Catherine had heard much of it before but she couldn't tear her eyes from the way Sara moved her hands when she talked or the way the gap between her teeth made her smile a hundred times cuter.

Several times Nancy had caught her staring and had winked at her sister. Catherine had shot her a warning glance before turning her attention someplace else. It was a rather difficult task seeing how she was the only one quiet at the dinner table. Lindsay and Jeremy were discussing some video game whose name eludes her. Sara did her best to include her in the conversation but nothing more than monosyllables flowed out of Catherine's dry throat. All her attention was focused on not gawking at Sara's lips or anywhere lower.

_Damn Nancy_ _for putting ideas inside my brain! _- Catherine shot eye daggers at her sister.

Seeing that it was a day off from work for Catherine, Nancy stayed a little longer than usual. However, when the children couldn't hide their yawns any further, Nancy decided to go home with Jeremy.

Nancy and Jeremy's departure brought about a serene quietude in the house. Lindsay had drowsily sauntered into her bedroom. By the time Catherine went to kiss her goodnight, the girl was fast asleep.

Catherine was far from sleepy. Her body clock had been timed to stay wide awake at night thanks to the hectic graveyard shift.

Sara was settled on the couch, deep in thought. Something was happening to her and even though she liked it, she wasn't sure it was a good thing. Whatever had ensued between her and Catherine that morning had completely jostled her feelings out of dormancy. She wouldn't deny that she was attracted towards Catherine from that very first day she had opened her eyes in the hospital. Okay, now that she thought about it, she had felt a little attraction even during the first day when she had come to Vegas and met Catherine. But this, whatever this was, felt stranger than she had ever experienced or correctly, remembered experiencing. Suddenly a mere attraction had crossed all boundaries of friendship or lust and arrived… where?

She wondered if she had the legendary spider sense because she could feel she wasn't alone in the room. She looked up to find Catherine watching her. Their gazes locked and time both stood still and rushed past.

_What the hell is happening to me?_ – A small voice screamed inside Sara.

"Would you like a beer?" Catherine asked, her hands were holding two bottles.

"Sure." Sara took one of them from her.

Catherine sat opposite her. They sipped their beer in awkward silence.

"Sara…"

"Cath…"

They both spoke in unison. They stopped, blinked and then bubbled out laughter.

Catherine gestured for Sara to speak first.

"I just wanted to thank you." Sara spoke, softly. "You listened and… it felt really nice telling you. Thank you. Thank you very much."

"I should thank you." Catherine's lips curved in the warmest of smiles. "I want to thank you for trusting and confiding in me. It really meant a lot that you shared your deepest pain with me."

"I… usually… don't tell anyone." Sara swallowed. "As far as I remember, I never even told Grissom."

_Grissom!_ – Catherine momentarily flinched at the mention of his name. She mentally shook away the emotion. Now was not the time to bring up Grissom's subject with Sara.

"So, now what?" Sara asked carefully.

"Now we dance." Catherine simpered. Before a perplexed Sara could respond, Catherine had turned on her CD player. The smooth notes from a piano filled the room.

"May I?" Catherine offered her hand.

Sara looked at the hand and then at Catherine and then gave a coy smile. "Catherine, I suck at dancing."

"Never you mind, Ma'am. I will teach you a few simple steps. Come on." Catherine shot her a charming smile.

Sara gulped and then placed her hand in Catherine's. Catherine tugged her fingers and Sara was on her feet. She brought the brunette closer and then sunk her fingers onto her shoulder blades.

"Now just follow my rhythm." Catherine instructed. Sara linked her fingers into hers and brought her other hand to rest against the slender waist.

The music was now punctuated with a male voice soulfully crooning out the words. Sara immediately realized the lyrics weren't in English. A hauntingly romantic tune played in the background coupled with the still playing keys of the piano. She understood what Catherine meant by a rhythm as her body automatically began to sway in response. She stumbled a little at the beginning as she clumsily tried to move. But Catherine's grip steadied her and her body started to synchronize itself to Catherine's movements.

Very soon, they had swayed towards the center of the room. Catherine, being shorter had placed her head in the smooth curve of Sara's neck. Sara breathed in the floral scent of Catherine's shampoo.

Sara began humming the tune. This pleased Catherine who brought her nose to nuzzle against Sara's jawbone. Without thinking, Sara kissed the top of the blonde head and stroked the forehead below with her lips. Their bodies had shifted considerably nearer so that now their curves fit against each other.

"Sara…" A tiny vestige of reason flashed a warning inside Catherine's head.

"Cath…" Sara cuddled her face with her own. Her fingers slightly increased their pressure against the sensitive skin. That warning was getting dimmer and dimmer by the second.

Catherine had now moved her hands to curl around Sara's neck. She used it to propel the other woman's head forward. Sara closed her eyes and Catherine kissed the lowered eyelashes and the incredibly soft skin below it. Sara was in turn showering her face with feathery light kisses.

Passion flared between them with an intensity that couldn't be bridled. As their lips met, their tongues darted out in a frenzied excitement. They tasted and devoured. Sara reluctantly left the lush lips to capture the sensitive arch of Catherine's neck. She moaned as the skin of her neck encountered the wet sharpness of Sara's teeth. Tongue suckled and soothed the pain. Sara had dug her fingers in Catherine's hair and brought her closer to give her better access to all the warm skin. Catherine clung to her, scared of being swept away by her own passion.

"Cath, if you don't want this, tell me…" Sara's huskily whispered as they both plopped down on the sofa.

"I want this… I want this…" Catherine chanted as Sara's breath in her ear brought a shudder inside.

They were both balanced precariously against restraint and wanton abandonment. The heated flesh beneath them wasn't making matters easy. Catherine's fingers had already started to crawl beneath Sara's shirt.

Sara grunted as she felt teasing fingers play with her nipples. She proceeded to unzip Catherine's jeans.

Catherine threw her head backwards and allowed Sara to climb over her. She was about to explode as her veins filled with burning lava. Her entire body convulsed under its pressure.

Just as she felt Sara's fingers encountering her bare center, a soul-jarring noise pounded into her eardrums.

Sara looked at her dazed, carnal fervor still smoldering in her dark eyes. The sound came again. Catherine eventually recognized it as her ring tone.

"What the fuck!" She swore, torn by the desire to answer what could be an emergency or to continue reveling in what was almost the height of rapture. The evil cell phone rang and rang until it iced through their heated embrace.

"I should get it." Catherine muttered. Sara wordlessly moved aside.

"Willows." _This better be really good and really important or else I'm committing murder tonight!_

"Catherine, are you alright?" Grissom's cool voice buzzed at the other end.

"Grissom? No, I'm fine. Any reason you called?" She asked, catching her breath and fumbling with her jeans at the same time.

"I know it's your day off but I was hoping to talk to you."

"About what?"

"Um, if you didn't have anything important to do tonight, could you stop by the lab right now?"

"_Now!_"

"Yes, if you are okay with it."

Catherine frowned. Grissom sounded slightly nervous which was very unlike the Grissom she knew.

"Is everything alright, Gil?"

"Yeah… yeah… I just wanted to talk.'

That was pretty scary.

"Ok, I'll be there in a few." Catherine answered. She flipped her phone shut and steeled herself at having to face Sara.

Sara was guzzling down the remaining beer when Catherine turned around.

"Grissom called. He wants me to go to the lab right now."

"Everything ok?" Sara frowned with concern.

"I don't know. He sounded strange on the phone." Catherine gave Sara a contrite look. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's ok." Sara stood up and enveloped Catherine in a quick, reassuring hug. "You should go. I'll wait up. I still have to work on my notebook thing."

"Thanks Sara. I'll be back as soon as I figure out what's eating Gilbert Grissom." She grinned.

Catherine's feet seemed to have grown some extra springs as she almost bounced her way towards her car. She didn't know what this new direction in her relationship with Sara meant. But whatever it was, she was determined to enjoy it and strengthen it.

With one long lingering look at her house, she drove away.

* * *


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty One**

Vegas never sleeps - that is a piece of information you quickly absorb as soon as you arrive in the city. In fact, while night is the time for most people in the world to retire in grateful repose; in Las Vegas, the darker the sky, the glitzier the city.

Catherine had to maneuver her car through noisy streets filled with fast vehicles zooming past traffic rules. When she finally arrived at the Crime Lab HQ, she was as always struck by the eerie silence of the place. The night shift looked busy as she made her way across the squeaky clean corridors.

"Hey Catherine!" Nick stopped in surprise. "I thought today was your day off."

"Yeah but Grissom called me. Is there something wrong?"

"Really?" Nick looked puzzled. "Not that I know of."

"Ok, I'll see what he wants me for." Catherine smiled. "See ya later, Nicky."

Grissom had on a contemplative expression when Catherine entered his office. He was so lost in whatever he was thinking that he didn't even hear her knock.

"Grissom!" She shouted. He snapped to attention and leant forward.

"Hey Catherine, thanks for coming. Could you close the door please?"

Catherine frowned and did as he said. She carefully avoided even touching the glass cases housing his pets and sat down on the worn leather chair opposite him.

"So, where's the fire?" She asked.

He sighed and played with his pen. "I really don't know where to start."

"Um, from the beginning would be helpful." She smirked at the irritated look on his face.

"There's this… a really smart and beautiful woman." Grissom was looking away from Catherine at his collection of praying mantids. "Ever since I've met her, she's impressed me with her intelligence and her strength of character and her dedication and…" He cleared his throat. "So, anyways, we have a good friendship. She's one of the few people who doesn't judge me or find anything quirky about what I do or feel."

"Grissom." Catherine tersely interrupted. "Don't tell me you've called me here in the middle of the night to discuss your love life!"

He turned his gaze towards her. "Well, not really. I mean, it's not my love life _yet_."

Catherine threw her hands in exasperation. "I can't believe this! Here I was thinking there was something of importance he wanted to talk to me about."

"This is important." He complained, looking slightly hurt. "If you want to go, then I won't keep you."

One look at Grissom's solemn expression and she regretted what she said. Sighing, Catherine squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry, Gil. Continue what you were saying."

Grissom took a moment to collect his thoughts and once again prepared himself to vocalize his feelings.

"So, as I was saying we, that is me and this woman, are very good friends. But, um, she wanted something more. I turned her down. It wasn't because I didn't like her enough. It was because I was afraid to be in a relationship with her. She's so much younger than me; she's my subordinate and part of my team. I think she deserves someone so much better than me. I mean, why would anyone who's so pretty and so smart want to be with me? But I just failed to see that she wanted to be with me for who I am. I was so caught up in my own insecurities that I couldn't comprehend her feelings or even my feelings."

Grissom's voice faded away into unintelligible mumblings as realization dawned upon Catherine. There was only one person whom Grissom could be talking about. The person who's relationship with Grissom was fodder for so many office gossips. The only person who, according to the lab techs, could make Grissom blush and stammer.

But she needed confirmation.

"Grissom, who is she?"

He stopped in mid-sentence and then gave her a weary look. "Sara."

_Sara… Sara… Sara… Sara…_

The name revolved round and round in Catherine's head. She suddenly felt a wave of nausea hit her with full force.

_This can't be happening._

"Why now?" Her own voice sounded so foreign to her. "Why after so long?"

"I almost lost her, Catherine, in that accident. When I thought something was going to happen to her… I got drunk. You know, I got drunk!" Grissom massaged the bridge of his nose. "All these days that she hadn't been to work, I've missed her terribly. I've stopped myself from calling your house everyday. I crave to hear her voice, see her face, and feel her presence. Being away from her has made me realize how much she means to me."

_And being with her has made me realize how much she means to me_ – A tear threatened to drop. She rubbed her eyes as an excuse to throw it away.

"So, why are you telling me this?" The words came out harsher than she intended.

"I don't know." He stared at her intently. "Maybe because I needed to share it with someone. Talk about it to figure out how real this is."

"And is it real?" She was almost afraid to ask.

"Very." Came his dreaded answer.

"I don't know, Gil. Maybe you were too late and you lost your chance?"

"Yeah, I thought so too. But then I thought why not make it up. I know Sara likes me and even when she remembers, she'll remember she liked me. So, I thought of healing the wounds before she can remember them."

"You mean, you want to date her and get into her good books so that once she remembers, she'll forgive you?" Catherine questioned, bitterly.

He raised his eyebrows. "You sound as if you disapprove."

She swallowed and looked away. "It's not my place to approve or disapprove."

"Catherine, I want to give myself a chance with Sara. I may have been late but I want to try and fight for the one woman I've felt so strong about."

Fingernails dug into her skin as Catherine clenched her hands together. "Well, it's up to Sara."

"Thanks for listening." His tone of voice indicated that he wouldn't be sharing any more for that night. Catherine got up and slowly walked out of his office.

She trudged along the walkways as if in a dream. Grissom's words rang alternatively with memories of the passion she had spent with Sara hardly an hour ago. Catherine decided she could do with a cup of coffee.

She was sipping her beverage, disregarding the scalding pain on her lips when Nick noticed her.

"Hey Cath, did you talk to Grissom?" He came by her.

"Yes." She replied in a small voice.

"Is there something to worry about?" Her pasty expression was disconcerting.

"No, not really."

"Okay." He looked dubious.

"Nick, wait…" She laid a hand on his arm. "Tell me about Sara and Grissom."

"Sara and Grissom?" He repeated, not sure he had heard right.

"Yeah."

"Well, what about them?"

"I've heard rumors that they had something going on. Is it true?"

Nick rubbed his chin in discomfort. "I don't know, Cath. I mean, I don't want to gossip and Sara did tell me some stuff in confidence."

"I want to help them." Catherine gave as an excuse.

"Oh… umm…" He narrowed his eyes. "Well, Sara had a thing for Grissom. Actually, she had a very big thing for Grissom. But, um, he rejected her because he thought that a boss-employee relationship wasn't healthy. She understood but it didn't make the hurt any less, you know? I mean, she developed a little drinking problem and there was this tension between her and Grissom. I guess, now they are more comfortable with each other but I don't really think she's completely over him yet. Just my thought."

Catherine shivered despite the higher-than-normal room temperature. "So, if Grissom were to take a step towards her, there's going to be nothing to stop them from getting together?"

"I guess. Sara's not dated ever since and she sometimes waxes love philosophy which suggests that she still likes him." Nick shrugged. "But you know Sara. She's so private it's hard to say what she's thinking."

"Yeah…" Catherine said distantly. The coffee tasted sickly bland and she felt like puking.

"Hey, if you are really thinking of playing matchmaker, then tell me whether there's something I can help you with, okay?" Nick rubbed her shoulders. "I'd love to see Sara happy for once."

"Me too." Catherine echoed.

* * *

Aah... I leave you all with this little twist for a week, I feel so evil :-P

Until then, please continue with your reviews! Thank you!


	23. Chapter 22

Thank you so much for the reviews, people. I wrote this quick chapter because Cath's angst was troubling me and I wanted to justify what she's going to do later (oh yeah, you are going to hate me for it). If there are any mistakes in here, it's not my beta's fault. She's on a vacation and I had to rely on myself to edit it sigh

And just to make things clear: All the sections written in Catherine's 1st person are flashbacks. Enjoy and review!

**Chapter Twenty Two**

Catherine did not go straight home. She didn't even hit the bar, much as she was tempted to. She needed her mind sharp and sober for thinking. So, she did the best thing. She sat in her car but didn't turn on the engine. The musty loneliness of the underground parking lot was perfect for the rumination she was about to indulge in. But once she leant back against the firm cushion of her seat, she didn't know where to begin. Was she supposed to think of what Grissom told her and try to figure out the depths of his feelings? Was she supposed to figure out the depths of her own feelings? How about Sara? Can she try and determine where Sara's heart lay?

Catherine shut her eyes and let the thoughts flow. She found herself inevitably getting transported to that fateful day which had dramatically changed the smooth direction her life was going in.

_Twenty days earlier:_

I had just wrapped up a small-time carjacking case. Grissom was nowhere to be found when I returned back to the lab and therefore I couldn't ask him for new assignments. I went to the break room to get something to snack on when I heard Pete and Archie talking in the hallway.

"Hey, Arch, did you hear that Sara and Nick has got what looks like a serial killer case."

The good-looking Asian, shrugged. "Those cases are always career-makers, man. And not to mention, they found a drawing of a solar eclipse on the girl's abdomen. How much interesting can this thing get?"

_Drawing of a solar eclipse on the girl's abdomen?_ – My brain began to pump signals. I didn't hesitate and went straight to one of the labs where I was sure to find Sara. I saw her with Nick, looking at photos of the crime scene.

I knocked to get their attention.

Sara looked up, questioningly. "Catherine, what's up?"

I quickly repeat what I had heard in the hallway. Nick affirmed that those were correct.

"I had a case like that, around four years ago. Three teenage girls were murdered, all with that same sketch on their stomach. Unfortunately, there were never enough evidences and we couldn't get anywhere with the case."

"Seems like the same guy." Nick muttered. "We got to collect nothing either."

I didn't know how to voice my request. Whatever I do would end up offending them. But the determined ambition in me refused to shut up. Thankfully, Grissom chose to show his presence at that moment.

"Nick, Sara, how's the case going?"

"Grissom, it's our eclipse killer case." I cut in before they had a chance to respond. He gave me a blank look.

"Remember, 2002, right after the December solar eclipse there was a spate of three killings? Breast mutilation, drawing on the torso…"

"Ah yes, I remember." He nodded and then his eyes widened. "Same guy?"

"Seems like it." Sara answered.

"Grissom, I want this case." I looked at him. I could hear chairs being pulled back as Nick and Sara rose up in shock.

"What? This is our case!" Sara's voice was vehement.

"Catherine, this is _their_ case." But the uncertain look on his face was all I needed.

"I know but I've studied and lived this serial murder for weeks." I kept my voice calm. "And I think my prior notes will help us get this guy faster."

He chewed his lips in thought and then nodded. "Alright, it's yours. Sara, I need your help on a 419 downtown."

Sara was struck speechless with anger. Nick intervened. "Gris, this is not fair. I agree Catherine has information which might be helpful but you can't take Sara off this one."

"I can't have three top-level CSIs working on one case on a busy day, Nick."

"Oh, so the next best thing is to throw me out like trash?" Sara spat acidly.

"What difference does it make which case you work on?" He sighed exasperatedly.

"It's called principles, Grissom. Why is it that she just has to drip sugar in front of you and you give in?"

"There's a db waiting for you, Sara." He didn't rise to her bait and stretched out a folder.

She snatched it from his hand and stormed out of the room.

"If Sara's off the case then so am I." Nick turned to fix me a cold look. "Good luck on it, Catherine."

"Don't think I did you any favors, Catherine." Grissom sounded almost bitter when they left. "But next time I would really appreciate it if you hand in your requests in private. You leave me in such a predicament."

"Don't worry, just go and comfort Sara. I'm happy being the super bitch." I smacked sarcasm.

Once, alone in the room, I had time to think of what I did. I never intended to have Sara out. In fact, I was hoping that we could be together on the case. She had an uncanny instinct for unusual situations which was rivaled only by Grissom's. We were hardly ever assigned together and half the time it resulted in one of us losing our temper. However, in the other half, we could crack open the hardest of cases.

I sighed. This incident would surely put a lid on my plans to try and thaw the ice between me and my female coworker.

But if I thought that this was the last heated blow before the Cold War, I was wrong. The following day I was in my office when I felt a sudden blast of air. I looked up to find my door open and a very angry brunette facing me.

_Uh oh_!

"Yes?"

"Why, Catherine?" The fury was evident in her eyes. But along with it were subdued fumes of what looked like hurt and disappointment. At that moment, I decided to try and hold up a truce of some sort.

"Sara, I just wanted to be in the case. I never wanted you out." I said softly.

"Why can't you stick to your own cases? Do you have some problem with me? You could have just handed us your notes. But you needed to prove us incompetent, didn't you?"

"That was not my intention. It's just that this case has been haunting me for a long time and I wanted to personally set it to closure."

"Oh, just quit with the excuses." She snarled. "Ever since I've come here, either you are always reminding me that I'm some intruder or you are putting me down for one thing or the other. Look, I'm sorry about Eddie, alright? I did my best, more than my best. Is it my fault that your ex husband was so Goddamn sneaky?"

Okay, she was really testing my temper.

"This has nothing to do with Eddie." I snapped.

"No, this and Eddie's case is part of a much larger picture..." She gave a hard smile. "You just spite me because I use my brains and skills to solve a case. Unlike you, who's forever flaunting her sexuality to get her way."

That's it… no more truces!

"Sara, you better leave right now. I don't want to file a complaint against you." I threatened.

"That's all you can do, really." She crossed her arms.

"Let me remind you that I've been here for a much longer time and I have more experience. People respect me and if they are attracted to me, that is really their business. But then, why am I telling you this? Maybe _you_ are jealous. You do have no social life after all."

The red-hot flash of pain on her face made me realize just what I had said. _Shit!_

"Sara, I didn't mean…" I start.

"You know, I really thought I was wrong about you. But today, you've just proved me right. I'm sorry I wasted your time."

_Dear God, what have I done?_

I rise up but she was already gone.

* * *

The words she spoke stung Catherine as she knew must have stung Sara. She leant forward and rested her forehead on the steering wheel. Bitter moisture formed in the corners of her eyes. If she could have taken back what she said, she would have. She never meant a word of it. She knew she had driven Sara to the edge by snatching her case away from her. The least she could have done to rectify her mistake would have been to apologize. But instead, she lashed out irrationally. She had hurt Sara right in the sorest of spots. 

"I'm sorry, Sara." Catherine sobbed into her hands. "I'm so sorry, Sara."

But that wasn't all…

_Blast to the past:_

Warrick was already on a case , so I turned to Greg for help. I didn't mention the spat with Sara nor complain about it to anyone. Nick had calmed down enough to be civil to me and Grissom was his usual self. So, I suppose, Sara hadn't talked about it to anyone either. Our paths cross frequently in the corridors, but we walk right past each other.

Though, I have to say that for the last several hours, I had thought of nothing but her. I try to justify my outburst and harsh words. It was true that Sara had really made me lose control of my temper and I had the deepest desire to hurt her back. But I was her senior and I had behaved like a cranky pre-schooler. The only resolution I could come to was the fact that after several days, we would go back to normal. This was how it always ended with me and Sara. We had our legendary fights and then we'll avoid each other for some time. Later, we'll get a case together and behave as if nothing happened. There were never any apologies or attempts to talk things through. Things just repaired on them own.

Or maybe they just got pushed in the background only to flare up with full force during our next argument.

"Hey Catherine." Greg entered my office. "Sara gave me her notes. I think it's worth looking at."

"I don't need them." I was still simmering.

"Catherine, she said…"

"I don't care what she said, Greg."

"Look, maybe I'm not in the best position to give any advice but…"

"So, don't give any." I cut in sharply.

"Okay. I'll send them back." His voice indicated that he wasn't at all looking forward to the task.

My head was paining and I couldn't concentrate on the case at all. Maybe I should have taken her notes. After all, it appeared as if she was offering peace. But I had an ego the size of Greenland and what I wanted was a vocal apology. This is what I did when I was in a ditch. I dug myself in deeper and deeper.

The next thing I knew was Greg returning to my office.

"What?" I snapped.

"Sara's gone somewhere alone." He sounded really worried. "She said if we don't follow the leads, she will."

"Who the hell does she think she is?" I couldn't believe the recklessness of Sara Sidle. In the span of twenty four hours, she had pushed my patience over the cliff.

"She's all alone with no backups."

"Well, let her be." I rubbed away the drowsiness from my eyes.

"I have a fair idea where she'll be."

"And you are not going anywhere, Greg. I need you here, not chasing after a woman who's clearly lost her mind."

"But, Sara…"

"Will be back." I finished for him.

But Sara never came back. After a while, Greg's anxiety had gotten the better of him. He announced that he was going after Sara and he didn't care if I threw him out of the case too.

Things were just dandy. If everyone was convinced I was the red-eyed spawn from Hell, so be it. I was too tired to care. Thinking, regretting, getting angry, fighting and worrying was just about all I could take.

After half an hour later came Greg's awful phone call.

* * *


	24. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty Three**

The glass tapped and Catherine opened her eyes only to be greeted with the full force of the sun's rays. She quickly shut them and ducked her head. The tapping on the window increased.

As her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness, she pulled down the window to see Greg giving her a goofy grin.

"Um, did your thirteen year old daughter kick you out of the house already?" He smirked.

"Uh, what?" She blinked, not sure whether she was awake or seeing an extension of her dream.

"Catherine, you were sleeping inside your car."

"Sleeping? For how long?"

"I don't know…" He frowned. "What are you doing here anyways? Wasn't last night your night off?"

"Yeah, I guess I got tired." Catherine offered as a silly explanation.

He obviously thought so too. His face had crinkled in doubt.

"You want me to take you home?" He asked.

"No, I'll be fine." Catherine politely refused. "Uh, Greg, could you not tell anyone about this?" She pointed at herself.

The indecision on his face definitely showed he was thinking of spreading the spicy gossip. However, he scratched his chin in mock seriousness. "And what do I get for the effort?"

"No paperwork, just field work for a month."

"That sounds like an okay proposition, but…"

"Greg."

"But since I'm a very easy person to satisfy…" He flashed her a cheesy look. "We have a deal."

As Catherine neared her street, she felt her hands go clammy. She didn't know what was worse; her guilt or her embarrassment. She knew she would have to eventually face Sara but she wasn't entirely sure she was in a condition to. They would have to talk to each other but right then she wasn't capable of enunciating her thoughts clearly. Hell, she wasn't even sure her thoughts were clear in the first place. There was only one refuge she could go to.

Nancy lived in a plush condo complex several streets away. Her sister had always expressed her distaste at having to take care of a house. Announcing her arrival at the gate, Catherine drove past the tree-lined pathway. She stopped her car in the visitor's parking area. There was a space between two high end coupes and she carefully slid into it.

"You already miss me?" Nancy teased when she opened the door. One look at Catherine's haggard face and her smile faded.

"God, Catherine, what happened to you?"

"Can you get me a drink?" Catherine mumbled.

"At 7 in the morning?" Nancy was shocked.

"I'll help myself."

"No, no, wait." Nancy blocked Catherine and made her sit down. "I'll get a beer."

"Not beer. Something stronger. Vodka preferably." Catherine sunk herself into the softness of the settee.

Nancy raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything.

Catherine had downed half the pristine clear alcohol in a gulp. She coughed at the tanginess in her throat and put the glass down.

"You want to tell me what's going on." Nancy was watching her sister with increasing worry.

"Grissom happened." Catherine muttered.

"Grissom?" That was the last thing Nancy was expecting to hear. "I don't think I understand."

"Last night, Grissom called me. He said, he wanted to talk to me." Catherine's voice was beginning to slur. Nancy observed it wasn't from the Vodka but rather from barely restrained tears. Her concern multiplied.

"What did he want to talk about?"

"Sara. He wanted to talk about Sara." She laughed, humorlessly. "He wants to be with Sara."

_Oh no!_ – Nancy leant forward and placed a warm hand on her sister's shoulders.

"And Sara?"

"She used to love him, before the accident. Now she doesn't remember. But when everything comes back to her, she'll remember how much she loved Grissom and how much she hated me."

"Why would she hate you?" Nancy scowled.

And like torrents of an unobstructed river, everything came rushing out. Catherine told her sister about the fight, the cause of Sara's accident, her guilt, the reason she took Sara in her house, the blossoming friendship with Sara and then the previous night's sharing of heated emotion.

When Catherine finished, she swallowed the rest of the Vodka. The drink was beginning to blunt the jagged edges of her feelings.

Nancy was too dumbfounded with everything she had learnt. She took a moment to process all the information and come up with a logical solution.

"You are in one deep shit out here, Cathy." Nancy muttered.

Catherine cringed at her childhood nickname. She knew her sister only used it if she was in a mood to annoy her or if she was really pissed at her.

"I already know that. So what do you think I should do?" Her eyes pleaded.

"Gosh, you've already done so much." Nancy said sarcastically.

"Nancy, I know I screwed up, ok? I don't need you to keep reminding me of it!" Catherine balled her fingers.

"Ok… ok… I'm sorry. So, what do _you_ want to do?"

"I want to turn back time and prevent any of this from happening." Was Catherine's wry reply.

"Maybe you should talk to Sara." Nancy suggested.

"And tell her what? Oh Sara, by the way, I was the cause of your accident and your memory loss. Or maybe I should tell her: Hey Sara, since you don't really remember who you truly love, how about we have a little fling in the mud?"

"Catherine." Nancy sighed. "You didn't know Sara was in danger so that doesn't make her accident your fault. And this thing you feel for Sara is more than a desire for a fling in the mud."

"I'm not sure what I feel anymore."

"Look, last night proved that Sara obviously feels something more than friendship." Nancy played with a strand of her sister's hair. "Whatever you feel for her is not one-sided."

"Maybe not, but what happens when she remembers?"

"You know there's this chance she'll not remember." Her sister spurred out.

"And so I'm supposed to take advantage of the situation?" Catherine countered.

"I'm just saying that… okay, I'm not sure what I'm saying." Nancy stood up. "I think I need a drink too. Want me to refill yours?" Catherine handed her glass.

"So, the way I see it." Nancy said, after she returned. "If you want to be with Sara, you need to take a risk. There's a chance, she'll forgive you."

"If I were her, I wouldn't forgive me." Catherine bitterly stated.

"I still think it's best for you to be honest with her."

"And what about Grissom?" Catherine asked. "He loves her and the way I see it, he really deserves her."

"Are you planning to sacrifice your happiness for Grissom's?" Nancy had on an incredulous expression.

"Gil was there as a support in my darkest hours. He's been my mentor and I could rely on him for anything. Do you remember the condition I was in? I was working in one of the seediest professions, I had a coke habit that was destroying me and Eddie had financially crippled me. Gil gave me a second chance at life. He gave me an opportunity to work for my daughter's future. I do owe him big time." Catherine propped her chin upon her fists. "He's not really the most emotionally expressive person but he's been behind me all the time. He saved me every time I came close to falling."

"And giving up Sara will be a way to repay him?"

"Sis, everyone's going to be happy this way." Catherine tried to sound enthusiastic.

"Oh no, Cath. Grissom will be. Sara might be. But you?"

"I'll be happy because I'll be saved from committing a huge mistake. And how do I know what Sara feels for me is real? She might just be using me as a substitute for Grissom, you know?"

"Oh, I'm pretty sure that's not true." Nancy firmly disagreed. "But if you've thought it through, then I won't stop you."

"You won't?"

"You are my sister and your happiness is important to me. But what you are thinking of doing is really honorable. If I was in your position, I don't think I would have the courage to do it. But again…" Nancy smirked. "It's only you who manages to get herself caught in complicated situations like these."

Catherine laughed and playfully shoved her sister. Nancy put an arm around her and rubbed her back.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Cath? You'll be hurting yourself so bad."

"Maybe I won't." Catherine loudly hoped. "Maybe you are wrong and this is just a mid-life crisis."

"You did have to remind me of your age and thus my age, didn't you?" Nancy grimaced.

Catherine chuckled until her tightly held control broke. Nancy pulled her close and allowed her to pour out her grief.

* * *


	25. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four**

Catherine was too drunk so Nancy drove her home.

"You still sure you want to do this?" Nancy asked when they arrived at Catherine's driveway.

"I'm not sure of anything."

"If you want I can come in with you."

Catherine shook her head. "There are some things you have to do alone or not do at all. Besides, I'm not ready to talk to Sara yet. Hopefully, I won't have to."

"Okay but if you need my help I'm just a call away." Nancy reminded her.

"Thanks for the ride."

The whole world seemed to tilt and wobble as Catherine made her way to her doorstep. She hadn't really drank all that much, Nancy made sure of that. But an entire night spent in her driver's seat and strong Vodka this early in the day wasn't agreeing with her system. She fumbled out her keys but she couldn't recognize which one was for the main door. As she tried one of them into the keyhole, her hands quivered and she dropped them.

A series of choice epithets escaped her just as the front door opened.

"Catherine?" A mixture of surprise and worry was heard in Sara's voice.

_Oh cruel Heavens, why did it have to be her?_ – Catherine groaned and stumbled her way across the door. Sara managed to catch her before she fell.

"Are you _drunk_?" Sara sniffed.

"A little." Catherine tried to push Sara away. Close contact with the brunette wasn't helping her already muddled brain.

Sara didn't ask any more questions but she kept a rigid hold on Catherine. After a moment, Catherine was thankful for that. She didn't think she was capable of doing anything more than crawling on her own.

"Let's get you changed." Sara said after helping Catherine into her bed.

"No!" Catherine shoved Sara's hand. "I… I… just let me get some sleep."

"Oh." Sara masked her hurt. "Do you want something to drink? Coffee maybe?"

"No."

"Ok, then." Sara hesitated as if about to say something more but then she changed her mind. She closed the bedroom door gently, frowning over Catherine's strange behavior.

Despite the incessant pounding in her head, sleep decided to cancel its visit and Catherine was left tossing and turning on her bed. All she could do was think. But after doing so much thinking since the night before, Catherine wanted to wrap all her thoughts in a bundle and use them as fuel for her fireplace.

Exhausted from her attempts at trying to sleep, Catherine finally rose out of bed. She ignored the distorted mess she had made of her sheets and blankets and walked straight into her washroom. After a long shower, she felt human again. Now all she needed was to neutralize the alcohol inside her.

She tiptoed her way down the stairs, cautiously looking for any sign of Sara. Catherine knew she was acting childish since she would be running into the woman sooner or later. But she rather preferred it to be later than sooner.

To her relief, the percolator was filled to the brim. As the caffeine entered her bloodstream, she could feel her distressed nerves perking up again. She was halfway through her third cup when Lindsay flew into the room. Catherine noticed the torn patches on her daughter's jeans.

"Lindsay, how did you tear your jeans?"

"With scissors, mom." Lindsay replied, helping herself to an apple.

"What?" Catherine was confused.

"Mom, you never let me buy those torn jeans in the stores so I cut them off myself."

Realization dawned upon Catherine. "You tore off your jeans with scissors! Lindsay, I don't spend money on your clothes only to have you cut them off!"

"Trust me, Cath, poke some holes in denim nowadays and the price doubles." Sara smirked from behind Lindsay.

"Fashion's scary." Catherine grumbled into her cup. She vaguely recalled her own mother telling her the same thing eons ago.

"Did you get some sleep?" Sara came to stand by her.

"Yeah." Catherine lied. She began pacing the kitchen; anything than come into Sara's proximity. Lindsay had already left as evident by the strains of music flowing from her room.

Sara hooked her thumb into her jeans, wondering what had got into Catherine. The woman's entire attitude appeared jittery. She didn't know how to ask either. After following Catherine's nervous prancing for a while, Sara decided she couldn't take it anymore. She would rather die of embarrassment than endure this crackling tension in the air.

"Cath, talk to me." Sara said.

Catherine jumped and almost dropped her mug. She stared dully at Sara for a while and then shrugged. "Nothing to talk about."

"Are you sure? You are acting really weird ever since you've returned from the lab."

"Weird? No, not at all."

"Catherine, stop." Sara stood directly in front of the blonde and halted her with her hands. "Does this have anything to do with what happened last night?"

"What happened last night?" Catherine feigned ignorance.

Sara pursed her lips. "Between us."

"Ermm…" Catherine avoided her gaze.

"Are we going to talk about it?"

"About what?"

"About last night, Catherine. About what was happening between us before Grissom interrupted." She rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Oh." Catherine flushed.

"So, are we?"

"Are we what?"

Sara huffed vexedly. "Catherine, are you deliberately trying to irritate me because it's working nicely."

_How adorable she looks when she pouts…_– Catherine mentally punched the thoughts out.

"I'm sorry." Catherine murmured weakly. "I'm not thinking straight."

"That's obvious, the pun I mean."

Catherine didn't get it at first but when she saw the devious smirk on Sara's face, it hit her. In spite of herself, she started grinning.

When the humor died, Sara gently crooked her finger under Catherine's chin and lifted it. "Cath, I want to talk about it. I want to know what it meant for you."

The look in those chocolate brown eyes would have liquefied iron into a puddle. Catherine couldn't believe this was the same Sara whom she once believed to be the equivalent of an ice-berg. The friendly Sara, the helpful Sara, the playful Sara, the funny Sara, the passionate Sara and now the gentle Sara was slowly creeping into her heart and she had no idea how to stop it.

Nancy was right. She could easily tell Sara everything; spill forth all her guilt and insecurities. She could tell Sara how much the woman had come to mean to her. An honest confession would leave her with no burden in her heart. It would also leave the ball in Sara's court.

Which brought her to her real fear. Catherine was afraid Sara might reject her after hearing everything. As soon as she is reminded how much Grissom means to her, she'll forget this little tryst with Catherine. When Eddie had cheated on Catherine, she hadn't merely lost her love; she had also lost her dignity. She had given herself completely in love for the man and he had slapped her with his infidelity. She had lost her sense of self-worth at that moment.

Catherine cannot bring herself to bare her soul again. She needed her self-respect. She wouldn't allow her love to be thrown away. Sara was noble and wouldn't hurt her in malice. She'll hurt her in the most innocent of ways. She'll simply tell her that her heart lies elsewhere.

Before that happens, Catherine needed to distance herself.

"I… I… can't." She moved away abruptly, brushing past Sara. "This is not a good idea."

"What? Us talking or what happened last night?"

"Both." Catherine gritted her teeth when she saw Sara flinch.

"I see." Came a cold voice.

_Please God, forgive what I'm about to do _– Catherine offered a silent prayer. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready. I have a date for lunch."

"A date." Sara backed away as if someone had hit her. She stared at Catherine, not believing her ears. She searched Catherine's face for any little sign of a joke, but saw none. There was nothing in those eyes except blue chips of steel. In that instant, Sara felt as if all her biological systems had shut down. There was only one thing she could do. There was only one thing Sara Sidle did when her heart was in jeopardy; she answered hurt with hurt.

"Well, I suppose then we are on equal grounds." Her tone was flat. "I just wanted to tell you I'm moving out."

* * *

_

* * *

I don't remember buying that washcloth. What are the mashed potatoes doing outside? I must have forgotten to put them in the fridge. Is it me or the room seemed to have gone colder? Colder? It's the middle of May… unless, I missed the weather forecast and they predicted rain… but it doesn't rain in Vegas… sure it does… - An assortment of random thoughts circled Catherine's mind as Sara's words sunk in.._

Catherine found herself nodding even though a thousand words screamed inside of her. But her vocal chords had seemingly lost their capacity to move. No voice emerged and those words remained unsaid. Sara had begun to say something about not being a stranger to the city anymore now that much of her memory was restored. Catherine didn't know what to do with the mixture of emotions that were aroused. From being nervous to sorry to heartbroken to shocked, she didn't think she could stand it any longer.

"I do have to get changed." Catherine cut into whatever Sara was rambling about.

"Of course, let me not keep you. I'll get packed."

And that was it. It was so easy, Catherine thought. There was none of the melodrama she feared. There were no verbal spats, no blame game and definitely no cat fights. Like two rational adults who had just admitted that they had committed a mistake in a moment of hormonal imbalance, everything was solved, right? Right?

Wrong. Catherine would have handled the verbal spats and blame games. She would have embraced the opportunity for a cat fight, for altogether different reasons. But this… this was more devastating than anything.

_Maybe that's because I'm not a rational adult who had committed a mistake in a moment of hormonal imbalance_ – Catherine realized.

There was only one thing to do. Knowing that she was going to owe her sister big time for this day, Catherine dialed a number she knew by heart.

"Hey Cath, how's it going?" Nancy greeted with no preamble.

"It went well." Catherine replied gravely.

"And… that's a bad thing?"

"It's a terrible thing, Nancy. Sara didn't seem the least bit flustered. And now she's moving out."

"Whoa… whoa… hold the gun, she's what?" Nancy yelled into the phone.

"She's moving out."

"And I thought you said things went well." Catherine heard the accusatory tone.

"We didn't argue. She didn't ask why. She didn't even seem…"

"Flustered." Nancy finished.

"Yes."

"So, now what?"

"Now nothing, I'm going to help her move out."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Yes, possibly. Nothing I've done or experienced ever since she's moved here has been sane." Catherine murmured dryly.

"Ok, wait." Nancy took a deep breath. "I thought you were going to think this through. I didn't know you were planning to put your crazy idea into action so soon."

"Wasn't you the one who said it was _honorable_?"

"Which doesn't mean you need to do it." Catherine could hear rhythmic tapping of fingers on wood. She knew it was an old habit of her sister's whenever she was thinking. "Look, why don't you talk to her again, huh?"

"I'm tired of talking; I'm tired of thinking. I'm just so tired of being a walking-talking emotional cocktail."

"But you have to stop her from leaving!" Nancy shouted.

"With what right? She doesn't belong to me. And, besides, don't you think it's better? This way, we can both carry on with our lives and put behind us this nightmare."

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" Nancy asked sagely. Catherine bit back a seething scream.

"Was I like this during that time with Eddie?" Catherine asked out of the blue.

"Uhh… yeah, except, your arguments were quite the opposite. That time you wanted to be with Eddie at any cost and this time you want to push Sara away at any cost. The only common factor is that I am the voice of reason as opposed to you, my supposedly elder and wiser sister."

"I know I made a mistake with Eddie." Catherine muttered.

"And you are making a mistake with Sara."

"Apparently, Sara doesn't think the same. Did you miss the part where I said she wasn't flustered? She isn't affected which means she doesn't feel for me that way."

"God, Cath, why is your love life so damn complicated?" Nancy grumbled.

"Yeah, just like old times, huh?"

"Some people just never learn. Case in point, you."

"Hey Nancy? Thanks." Despite her low spirits, Catherine smiled. "I don't know why you put up with me."

"You know what? I don't know either." Catherine heard the exaggerated sigh.

* * *

Our girls are just so emotionally... in denial (sighs). Hope you enjoyed the chapters. Thanks for the reviews and plz continue with them :) 


	26. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty Five**

Sara yanked her clothes out of the hangar and shoved them inside her bag. The colors of her shirts and jeans took on a whole new interest for her, even though they never ranged beyond the black-and-white spectrum. She began looking for imaginary specks of dust on her clothes and brushed them away meticulously. Any other time, she would have laughed at herself loud. She may have many strange habits but being obsessive-compulsive wasn't one of them.

Sara knew she was only biding her time before her ultimate departure. That and trying to keep her thoughts from straying to the conversation she had with Catherine earlier. Sara had learnt from a very early age that while physical pain could be healed by the wonders of modern medicine, emotional agony stayed with you long after. She also learnt that dwelling on them just increased the pain tenfold.

With all her clothes packed and her toiletries secured in her duffel, Sara was done. She looked around the room as if memorizing its every corner.

_You were a guest and you desired to be more… now, you have nothing to do but reap the oats of your foolishness_ – Sara's brain chided her.

She had one last thing to do and the very thought of it clenched her heart. However, much as she wanted to delay, she also equally wanted to get out of the house and Catherine's life. Bracing herself for what was to come, Sara walked into Lindsay's room.

"Hey kiddo." She smiled at the younger Willows. Lindsay quickly typed a "brb" into her AIM window and turned towards Sara.

"What's up?"

"There was something I had to tell you." Sara knelt down and brought herself to the same eye level as the little girl.

"Sounds serious." Lindsay put on a sing-song voice.

"Yeah." Sara weakly smiled. "You know how your, um, mom brought me here so that I can get well, right?"

Lindsay nodded.

"I think, I'm quite cured now."

"Are you leaving us?"

Sara doubled at Lindsay's unexpected perceptiveness. "I… I… " She stuttered.

"You don't like it here." Sara's heart reached out at the doleful expression on Lindsay.

"Oh no, honey, I do like it here. But this isn't my house. I need to get back to my house and my life, right Lindz?"

"This can be your house, too." Lindsay protested. "I like having you here. Mom does too!"

_No, she doesn't_ – Sara silently sighed. "I like being with you too, sweetie. But I have to go otherwise who'll take care of my house?"

Lindsay hung her head. "I don't want you to go."

Sara swallowed a lump in her throat. "I'll see you again. Um, we can even play video games in the new arcade. And hey, you can come visit me whenever you want." She brushed Lindsay's hair with her fingers.

"But I don't want you to go." Lindsay repeated forcefully.

"Lindsay…"

"Fine, leave! Everyone else does! First Daddy went and now you! I don't care." Lindsay turned her attention back towards her screen and began furiously typing.

"Lindsay, I…" Sara began but she chewed back the rest. Lindsay had the Willows fury etched on her face and she didn't have the strength to continue. It was better this way.

It was always better this way.

"Bye Lindz, I'll… I'll miss you." Sara walked away before she broke.

* * *

Everything was over with surprising speed. The cab arrived promptly and helped Sara load her bags in the back. She wouldn't allow that one last favor from Catherine and the older woman didn't push it. Their relationship was gliding on thin ice as it is and Catherine knew better than to try and mend it with formalities. The goodbyes were quick. There were no hugs, no tears, and no lengthy speeches of gratitude. Lindsay didn't come out of her room and Catherine's attempt to cajole her daughter ended in a brief argument.

Catherine watched the taxi curve round the street corner and then dive straight into the Vegas traffic. She knew she could have said one word, one word to stop Sara, but she didn't. It would have taken only one minute to tell Sara the truth and the brunette would still be in her house. But she couldn't bring herself to extract that one minute from her life. She loved chances but she couldn't let that one minute place her life as a stake in the game of romantic roulette.

And, so she watched her street long after the dust had settled. Finally, when she went back inside, she tried to ignore the damp feeling of being all alone once again.

* * *

It took Sara a while to maneuver through the building into her apartment. The interiors were dark, shadowed by the heavy curtains over the window. She found it odd that a lot of her things were stacked carelessly into one corner. She didn't remember this being the case when she had come to get her things with Catherine and Nick.

Staleness hung in the air, brought about by days of being neglected. She dumped her bags in the tiny bedroom. Even the bedroom was in a sense of disorder, as if someone had created a mess there and then hurriedly tried to tidy it up. Sara mentally reminded herself to ask Grissom about it.

Her fridge was empty save for a jar of peanut butter and an old loaf of bread. There wasn't much inside the kitchen cabinets either, apart from some canned beans and soup. Hungry but not particularly liking her food choices, she went to get her keys. Sara dimly recalled seeing a coffee shop not far from the building.

Mid-afternoon was probably the quietest period in Vegas. The night partying gang were snoozing away their hangover. The folks that tried to pretend a regular life in the city of abnormal wealth were cooped up in their workplace. Kids were in school and those that were not were too clever to try any tricks in broad daylight.

As such, the coffee shop was deserted and Sara got a quiet seat. The bagel was a little burned but Sara was too famished too care. Besides, her mind was on other things.

Successful relationships weren't her forte. The sporadic flings she had in college were just that, flings. Most of the times, she had no expectations. Sometimes, she did try but it never worked. However, at least, at the end of the day she knew where she stood with them. Today, she had no idea what happened or what it was supposed to mean. Sara had waited all night for Catherine's return but didn't want to call the woman for fearing of appearing too needy. But when this morning, she opened the door to a stoned Catherine, her shock would have been an understatement.

After that, whatever occurred made anything but sense. Someone more aggressive wouldn't have been content with the blunt rejection they received. They would have charged for an explanation or even an apology. Even though questions were abundant in Sara's mind, she knew it was better left unanswered. It was far more dignified to appear as cold as the one who had hurt her.

And she assured herself that the hollowness in her gut would disappear after a few days.

* * *


	27. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty Six**

Grief is an unfortunate truth of life. What is interesting is the way people deal with it. Some mope over it for days and days, sometimes with drugs or alcohol as their companion. While some try to counterbalance the pain inside by exerting themselves outside.

The weekend came and went in Sara and Catherine's lives. Nothing spectacular happened to both of them. While Sara engaged herself in making her apartment livable once more, Catherine decided to dilute any feelings by exciting herself. She went on dates, heard self-absorbed charmers drone on, intoxicated herself and even went back to those days of one-night-stands.

Nancy couldn't stop her but she surely didn't want Lindsay to be the receiving edge of Catherine's escape tactics. She took the girl and her son on a fishing trip with a curt warning at her sister to mend herself before they returned.

It didn't take long for the rest of the lab team to get hold of the news that Sara had moved back to her apartment. Catherine wouldn't answer their curiosities and they knew better than to pry it out from Sara. However, they did help Sara now and then with reshaping her place. While Nick and Sara cleaned, mopped and restored, Greg amazed everyone with his culinary skills.

After his heartfelt confession to Catherine, Grissom had a lot of time to think. Being forward in relationships wasn't his style but he knew he needed to catch Sara before she slipped away from his hands. He lent her books that he knew she would like and then spent hours discussing them and their authors. He taught her how to play Go and wasn't surprised at the rapidity with which she picked it up. Another couple of hours were spent in dueling their white and black stones against each other. His collection of classics found their way into her DVD player.

He loved how she never judged him for what he liked or thought. She took in his choices with a purely scientific interest that he felt comfortable with.

So, Grissom decided to take the leap.

They were having breakfast in Sara's kitchen. Grissom had just arrived from his night shift straight to her house.

In between the bites he took of his toast, Grissom asked. "Sara, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

She frowned. "Grissom, we eat together almost everyday."

"No, I meant as in go out with me for dinner."

She stopped her cup in midway and raised her eyebrows. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"If you would like the call it that." He gave an uncomfortable shrug.

"What would you call it?" She looked amused.

"I would call it a… date." Grissom smirked.

"Then you have a date."

He blinked. He didn't expect such an easy acceptance from her. "You sure?"

"Why won't I be?" He caught a trace of acid in her voice.

"I don't know… don't you want to ask why?"

"I'm amnesiac not stupid. I perfectly know why people go on dates."

"No, I didn't mean that."

"Besides, this won't be our first date." She shrugged.

"No, it won't."

* * *

And so a date it was. He was a planner and therefore he carefully outlined the whole evening to make it special. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that Grissom was uncomfortable with the romantic extravagance but he was willing to take that wide step for Sara's sake. And he truly wanted to confess his feelings for her that evening. His knowledge on human behaviors told him that such a confession was better made in a thoroughly elegant environment. 

He went for the casual yet chic Little Buddha at the Palms. Added with Sara's preference for exotic delicacies and the restaurant's more relaxed atmosphere, Grissom knew it would be perfect.

"This is really nice." Sara commented over her Chilean seabass.

Grissom actually blushed. "Thank you."

"I never would have guessed you to be this…umm…" Sara thought of a word to use.

"Thoughtful?"

"Romantic." She corrected him.

"I am romantic, Sara."

"Yeah, in a very intellectual way." She smirked.

"So, what kind of romantic do you like?" He asked.

"Intellectual suits me just well."

Grissom quirked his brows. "I never would have guessed you to be a flatterer."

"And I'm not." She took a sip of her Merlot. "The flowers were really nice. Why did you pick irises?"

"It represents wisdom and valor. It also means that you are a very special friend." He brought forth his hand and lightly touched her fingers.

"I never knew florology was your interest too."

"This has nothing to do with florology. It's about symbolism." He smiled. "But I have to admit, it wasn't my idea. It was Catherine's."

Sara choked into her glass and stared at him. "Catherine's?"

"Well, I was about to order roses when she told me that I should go for something that would truly mean represent you."

"Why on earth would Catherine tell you that?"

"Because she knows all about flowers."

"Was this dinner her idea too?" She snapped bitterly.

"Sara, why would it be?" He scowled, not liking the direction the conversation had changed into.

"Because she knows all about dates too."

"Look, I know both of you have some problems." He waved his hand in emphasis.

"We have no problems." She bluntly denied.

"Okay."

"We really don't." She pressed.

"Sara, I said okay." He thinned his lips.

She sighed in exasperation. "Why are we discussing her, anyways?"

"Alright, we won't."

"Did she know those flowers were for me?" Sara questioned.

"Yes, she did." Grissom had leant back, his food forgotten.

"Did she say anything?"

"Yes, she told me that roses were a bad idea."

"No." She shook her head. "Apart from that."

"Nothing much."

"Nothing much? But she _did_ say something."

Grissom narrowed his eyes. "I thought we were not discussing her."

"We are not. I'm just curious."

"I can see that."

She opened her mouth to say something else but then thought better of it. Just then, the corner of her eye caught an image. She quickly swiveled her head towards it. A group of well-dressed men had just entered. One man, trailing behind them, looked slightly out of place in that circle. His raven black hair was slicked back into a ponytail. A body hugging tee and biker pants clung to his lean frame. But it was the scar below his lip that triggered the flash of memory within Sara.

She rose up so suddenly that she almost toppled the wine glasses off the table. Grissom stood up with her.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

But she didn't wait to answer him and strode towards the man. He quickly noticed her approach and froze momentarily. Then as good sense washed over him, he bolted through the entrance. This was the cue for Sara to pick up speed. She narrowly avoided colliding with a waiter and pushed past customers offering a muffled apology.

Sara saw the guy walk hurriedly. Her legs began running while she shouted for the man to stop. He turned back and seeing her near the distance between them, he paced up and slid past the gleaming hotel corridors. She vaguely heard Grissom asking her to wait but her limbs seemed to have a mind of its own. She wasn't entirely aware of what she was doing. Her full concentration was on catching hold of the man.

She ran faster as the front gates of the hotel came into view. She knew that once they were out on the streets, it was going to be next to impossible for her to catch her pursuit. Suddenly, the scene in front of her was filled with blue-uniformed security guards. Four of them grabbed her guy's hands and tackled him down on the floor. He writhed as he saw her come closer but they had a good hold on him. She stood by him, staring into his eyes.

"Sara, what the hell is going on?" Grissom panted as he finally caught up with her.

She licked her lips. "He's the one."

"What?" He knit his brows in confusion.

"He's the one who attacked me." She replied.

His eyes widened as the implication of what she said finally struck him.

* * *

Once again, thank you for the reviews. With this new, uh, development, expect things to just get angstier for our ladies. But a little foreflash of hope: I always love happy endings :) 


	28. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty Seven**

Any other man would have been terribly upset that his well thought out romantic evening had been interrupted. But for Grissom his work was his life. In one moment, two huge developments had presented themselves and there was no way he could have stayed away from his job at such a time. He immediately called his team and ordered them into the crime lab ASAP.

Sara was shivering in the velvet spaghetti-strapped dress she had worn for the evening and Grissom covered her with his coat. They drove to the crime lab in silence. There were tons of questions she needed to be asked but right then he knew better than to barrage her with them. The squad car was bringing the guy in for questioning and he could hear their sirens behind him.

Grissom was glad to find Nick and Warrick by his office, waiting for him.

"What's the emergency?" They then noticed Sara behind him. "Sara?"

"We caught the guy who had attacked Sara." Grissom explained. "She recognized him."

"What?" Both Nick and Warrick stared in amazement at Sara and then at Grissom and then at each other.

"This is… this is…" Nick dribbled, too overwhelmed to speak.

"How did this happen?" Warrick asked.

Grissom turned towards Sara. "Are you ready to tell everything?"

"I would like some coffee first." Sara weakly smiled. "But none of Greg's private stash."

"Hey, hey, you are just mad because I never give them to you in the first place… wait… you remember?" Greg scratched his hair as he approached them.

Sara nodded. His jaws dropped and then rubbed his eyes. "Am I dreaming? Yes, dreaming I must be."

"C'mon Yoda, we have work to do." Nick smirked.

"You better have a good reason for dragging me away from my date, Gil, because…" Catherine hissed. She stopped when she saw Sara and the rest of her sentence was forgotten.

Grissom once again briefed everyone the situation. By then, Brass had joined them too.

"The guy's name is Randy Dreyfus. He had been arrested twice before on charges of battery and once for hate crime." Brass informed them.

"Greg and Sara, you stay in my office. Nick and Warrick, search Randy's house." Grissom assigned. "Me and Catherine would go and see what Mr. Dreyfus has to say."

* * *

"Look, the only reason my client is here is because an amnesiac suddenly had a flash of enlightenment and implicated him." A tired-looking defense attorney rasped. "You have no case."

"We have enough of a case to get a warrant of Mr. Dreyfus' DNA sample." Brass chirped.

"I ain't givin' you nothing." Randy spat.

"We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way." Grissom spoke, quietly.

"Fuck off."

Catherine hadn't said a word since entering the room. She had been too absorbed in calming her boiling rage. Every time she imagined Randy Dreyfus laying a hand on Sara, her veins shook with anger.

"Listen, you little punk." She leant forward and growled. "You are not only looking at physical assault on a member of the LVPD, you are looking at charges of multiple homicide. You are staring at a long walk to the death needle, buddy, so you better start talking."

"Homicide? I committed no murder." Randy was now sweating.

"Well, maybe Ms. Sidle would have a different story to tell." Brass' voice was dangerously smooth.

"Hey, wait, wait… I'll talk." Randy put up his hands.

"Randy, I advise you to not…" His lawyer began.

"Shut up." Randy barked at him. "Look, some dude paid us to kill anybody who'll snoop around in that motel room. He said I should kill her but I didn't want to. So, I just beat her up thinking she'll get the message. I didn't kill nobody."

"Who was he?" Grissom asked.

"I dunno… Max dealt with him." Randy cowered.

"Max? Was he the other guy with you that day?"

"Yeah."

"Where can we get this Max?"

"He's usually pimpin' by the Strip. Just go to the receptionists at the Palms and they know who Max is. It was all his idea."

"And I suppose he moved your hands for you too." Catherine seethed.

* * *

Greg leapt back when one of Grissom's pets lunged at the glass cage.

"Relax Greg, they don't bite." Sara grinned.

"Yeah, and I love wearing yellow pants." Greg distanced himself as much as possible from the insect case.

"You _do_ love wearing yellow pants."

"I so do not." He whined.

"You so do."

"Humpphh…"

"Remember that car salesman case we were paired on? You forgot to change your amber bright pants from your romping with… Daisy Merrydale was it?" She fought the chuckle bubbling inside of her.

"Daisy Ferridale." He muttered, abashedly.

"Aw, Greg." She feigned sympathy.

"Seriously, Sara, why weren't we blessed with selective memory?"

"Yeah, that way I could selectively memorize that time when we were in the shower?" She smirked.

"You are flirting with me?" He looked really aghast. "Ladies and gentlemen, get me a camera. I need to capture this Kodak moment."

"You know, I could easily push you over and you'll soon be spending time with Grissom's friends."

"I'm scared." Greg made a face. "Say, who are you dressed to kill?"

"I was on a date."

"That, my dear Sara, I deduced." He ducked when she raised her hand to playfully smack him. "And considering the most eligible bachelor for you, i.e. me, wasn't with you tonight, I have to painfully accept that you were out with someone else. So who?" Greg winked at her.

"Grissom." Sara replied with a deadpan expression.

Greg backed away in shock. "Grissom? Our Grissom? Our bug-loving, CSI, Grissom?"

"The same."

"Well…" Greg didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to think either. He realized what she was telling him was pretty serious. The tension between Grissom and Sara had been the talk among the lab techs but it was also common consensus that Grissom wouldn't take a step towards a relationship.

A lot of things were changing.

And speaking of the devil, Grissom opened the door just then.

"Sara, let's have the talk. You ready?" He asked her.

Her face which had momentarily composed due to the light-hearted bickering with Greg was now blanching once again. She nodded and walked towards the door, with Greg still reeling from what she told him.

They chose the break room. It was informal, less intimidating and had a round table with just enough chairs for all of them to sit on.

Sara sat between Greg and Warrick. Beside Greg was Nick and then Brass. Grissom was directly facing Sara. Catherine was somewhere to his left but quite out of Sara's line of sight.

Before going into the break room, Greg had caught hold of Catherine.

"Catherine, in all honesty, I don't think you should be in there."

Catherine was about to snipe at him when she realized how much courage and concern did it take for him to tell her this.

"I know what she's going to say and I'm ready to face it."

"There will be hostility between the two of you in there. You don't need that." Greg was almost pleading.

"And what reason can I give the others for not being there?" She demanded shortly. "If Sara is going to point fingers at me, then I'm ready for it. I think I deserve much of it, anyways." Catherine spoke the last sentence sadly.

So, once they were all settled in and had taken several gulps from the coffee mugs filling the table space, Grissom spoke. "Sara, you can start."

"First of all, let me make it clear, my memory isn't 100 restored. A lot of things are still blurry."

"That's ok. Tell us what you know." Brass soothed.

"I do remember the attack quite clearly though and the events leading to it."

Greg shot a brief look at Catherine who had kept her gaze downward.

"I remember that guy I was chasing. He was the one who attacked me." Sara continued.

"Start from the beginning, Sara." Grissom advised. "Why were you there?"

Sara's eyebrows wrinkled in thought as she tried to piece together the scattered parts of her memory. "Nick and I were working on Aliyah Badem's case." She slowly said. "And then you took me off the case." She glanced at Grissom. "And gave it to… to…" Her throat tightened as she remembered. "Catherine.'

"Yes." Grissom's face was unreadable.

"We had worked hard on the case and I had made couple of notes. One of my evidence led me to a certain Jordan Burke." She pursed her lips. "He had a room in that motel."

'The motel Randy and Max found you in?" Warrick asked. Sara nodded.

"I don't know their names but I do recognize their faces. I went to check on Jordan Burke but I found the room was empty. I told the motel manager that I was a CSI and I needed to search the room. He complied and didn't ask for a warrant or anything." She drummed her fingers against themselves. "I found certain things… umm… when this guy came up from behind me and asked me what I was doing. He was short and burly with a shaved head. I showed him my ID and asked him if he was Jordan Burke. He took out his gun and told me to leave. I kinda distracted him and snatched the gun away from him. We were struggling when his partner, the guy in the ponytail came. Baldie hit me in my stomach and ponytail pinned my hands at the back. That's when the door opened once again and I saw Greg." She turned towards the guy in question.

"And he tried to save you but those guys beat him up too." Nick added, his jaws clenching.

"They took me into a car. They tied my hands and drove for a while. All the time, ponytail was hitting me. He used the butt of his gun to hit my face." Sara grimaced. The break room was chilled to silence.

"What happened then?" Brass shakily let out.

"They stopped somewhere. They hit me some more and then they just ran away. I think I heard the sound of engines before passing out. The rest you know." Sara took a deep breath and looked into the grey faces of her coworkers.

"Those bastards. I swear I'm gonna…" Nick stood up, fuming.

"Nick, sit down. We'll nail him." Grissom was himself keeping his rage in tight control. "Sara, what I don't understand is why you were there. That wasn't your case anymore and if you were helping, you should have had backups."

Sara kept her gaze steadily on Grissom. "I had a lead and I went to search for Catherine and Greg. Because I couldn't find them, I went out on my own. I was afraid that if we delayed, Jordan Burke might check out and the lead will be lost."

He stared at her ludicrously. When he finally found his voice, it was a mixture of anger and disbelief. "Do you have _any_ idea what you were doing then? You not only put yourself in serious jeopardy but you also broke office protocols. A CSI is _never_ supposed to attend a crime scene without a policeman in sight. And that wasn't even your case. You were not supposed to be there. Any evidence from you implicating Randy and Max with the serial killings cannot be admissible because of what you have done. The most we can do is charge them for physical assault."

"I know." Sara croaked.

"You know and you still did it. What were you thinking, Sara?" Grissom almost yelled.

"Grissom, I think we should just calm down here." Brass placed a restraining hand on his friend.

"I'm not going to calm down, Jim." He jerked away. "Sara, you could have waited for Catherine or Greg to return. You could have told someone else what you were planning to do. If Greg hadn't gone after you, we would never have known where you were."

The team shuddered at what he was implying.

"I'm sorry, Grissom."

"Go home, Sara." He suddenly looked completely exhausted. He walked away from the break room.

"I'll drop you." Nick told her gently. Sara just nodded.

Greg and Catherine sat there mutely, too shocked to even move.

* * *

Nick and Sara had reached the parking lot when Catherine jogged up to them.

"Nick, can I have a word with Sara for a minute?"

Nick shrugged and turning towards Sara, he said, "I'll wait for you in the car. You still remember which one I drive, right?"

Sara smiled at him and nodded.

When Nick was gone, Sara looked at Catherine. They hadn't spoken to each other ever since she had moved out. Those weeks of living together now seemed like another lifetime.

"What do you want?" She asked coldly.

"Why didn't you tell Grissom the truth?" Catherine wanted to know.

"As far as I'm concerned, I did tell him the truth."

"Sara, look, it wasn't your fault that you went there alone. It was…"

"I don't want to talk to you about it." Sara firmly stated. "We are done here."

"Sara…" But the brunette didn't halt her pace as she walked towards Nick's Tahoe.

* * *


	29. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

Life's decisions are never white or black. One can hardly ever decide anything without breaking some moral principle or the other. Sometimes the wrong people get pissed off and thus your decisions have huge consequences. Sometimes, you are the only one who gets hurt during your decision-making process. In this case, you satisfy yourself by saying that "it's for the best".

After Catherine saw Sara leave with Nick, she went straight home. She knew Sara was stubborn, combine that with her fury and you get a volatile blend of irrationality. But this time, Sara's decision to not spill the truth to Grissom has saved Catherine from dire repercussions. Now apart from Greg, no one would know of the real reason why Sara had stormed off all alone. She should be relieved. And yet, peace eluded her by a wide mile as she kept thinking of what Sara had done.

Clearing her mind of any thoughts and therefore doubts, Catherine slipped into her jacket and went straight to her car. She kept her focus away from what she was about to do, lest she developed cold feet. In a matter of minutes, she found herself in front of Sara's apartment.

Catherine took a moment to collect herself, smooth her hair with her fingers and then knocked on the door.

The door opened after the second knock. Sara's hair was tousled and her eyes were almost bloodshot. Catherine caught a faint hum of smooth jazz playing in the background.

"What part of 'We are done discussing' don't you understand?" Sara snarled when she recovered from her shock at finding Catherine at her door.

"Can I come in?" Catherine braced herself for the barbed jabs she knew she would be receiving that night.

"Suit yourself." Sara left the door ajar and ambled inside.

"Sara, I'm sorry." Catherine began from there.

"I don't need your sorry. Anything else?" She crossed her arms.

"Would you at least hear what I have to say?"

"I already know what you want to say, so I'm going to save both of us the trouble and tell you, I bear no grudges." She snorted.

Catherine swallowed hard. She wished her throat didn't feel as dry as sandpaper. "I know what I did to you was wrong."

"It was what you didn't do that was wrong."

"Yes, I should have listened to Greg. I should have followed up on your lead and not dismissed it so easily." Catherine admitted. "But you just made me so angry."

"Oh, so it's now my fault."

"No! I don't mean that!" Catherine lowered her voice. "I was just saying that because we had argued earlier, I thought you were trying to get back at me for interfering."

"So you confess that you were interfering. I bow down to your humility" Sara gave a hard smile.

"Sara, I'm trying to apologize out here!" Catherine was really making an effort to grasp her anger before it slipped out of control.

"And I already said I don't need them. Therefore, I don't get what you are still doing here."

"You are right, I shouldn't be here. This was a huge mistake. I thought we were friends…" Catherine muttered sourly.

"Friends?" Sara let out a bitter laugh. "We were never _friends_, Catherine. The whole reason why you took me into your house and cared for me was because you wanted to assuage your guilt. _You_ wanted to feel better. This isn't about me, it's about you. Don't call our association by the name of friendship, because it never was. It was like some kind of transaction you had to make. A little loss for the profit of your peace of mind."

"You call what we had, a transaction?" Catherine wouldn't have been more stricken if Sara had spit on her. "You think that when my daughter started adoring you, it was a transaction? You think when we exchanged our life's sorrows together, it was a transaction? You think that every moment of laughter and joy we shared was just a mere transaction?"

"A by-product, definitely." Sara looked away from Catherine.

"How can you say that?"

Sara's body seemed to slacken in weariness. "Catherine, you should just go. We have nothing to tell each other anymore. So, instead of standing here and throwing accusations all night, I would really like to get some sleep."

"But…"

"If, on the other hand, you're here to account for all the troubles I've caused you during those two weeks, then you can send me a bill charging me."

Catherine didn't realize what she had done until she saw the red hand mark on Sara's cheek and the sting in her palm. Time froze to a halt and she stared at her own hands in disbelief. She tried to say something, anything, but her brain and the rest of her body appeared to have dissociated themselves.

Sara's eyes were rabid. She breathed through furiously low tones, "Get out of my house."

"Sara, I didn't…"

"Out. Now. Else, I swear to God, I won't be responsible for what I do next." Sara warned.

Catherine debate lasted only a second. Sara was obviously in no condition for a peaceful talk and she was incapable of dealing with that much anger. Whatever she had to say needed to wait.

* * *

Max admitted to the charges of assaulting Sara. He told his interrogators he was paid by an anonymous source. Brass had his men tracing the transfer of money in his account. 

The next night, Catherine went to Grissom's office. He was staring at the walls when she entered.

"No paperwork? If you want, I could send over some of mine." She tried to joke. He faintly smiled.

"Did you want something, Cath?"

She played with the hem of her sleeve while answering, "It's about what Sara told us yesterday."

He had perceptibly ashened. "What about it?"

"She lied."

He blinked. "Which part?"

"The part where she said she couldn't find me and Greg and therefore she went to the motel all alone."

He waited for her to continue, his grey eyes stormy with intensity.

And then the truth came tumbling out. Grissom's gaze was unflinching throughout her entire confession. When she was finally done, Catherine couldn't bear to look at him and for once found some of his books highly fascinating.

"I'm so tired, Catherine. I'm tired of playing referee between the both of you. And now, you let things escalate to such a degree that you actually endanger her life?" He really looked hurt.

"I didn't think she was in danger." Catherine gulped back her tears. "I wasn't doing much thinking then."

"And Sara almost got killed, not to mention lost her memory and is still limping, all because you weren't doing much thinking." He accused vehemently.

"I'm sorry! If there was a way I could go back and redo everything, I would have. If there was a way none of these would have happened to Sara, I would have leapt at it. Grissom, I _never_ meant to hurt her." She cried.

"Unfortunately you have."

* * *

That night, Sara couldn't sleep. It was partly because the previous night, she had slept past the 10 hour mark and had woken up with a killer headache. Popping some aspirins, she had become, much to her annoyance, drowsy again. 

And not being able to sleep brought back thoughts of Catherine and their intense fight. She could still feel the sharpness of Catherine's palm against her cheek. For a long many hours, Sara had been frothing with hatred. The image of Catherine boiled her blood. The memory of happier days spent with the woman filled her with shame. She was angry at her own naiveté and foolishness. Sensing that her elevated blood pressure would do her nothing else but harm, she finally got out of bed and thought of doing something to preoccupy herself.

There was nothing on TV except the usual marathon of crime shows. Then there were sitcoms which Sara didn't particularly favor either. There was some old black-and-white movie but the sound quality was too bad for her to understand.

Sara tried to concentrate on reading a book but the words couldn't steal her away from distraction. She then decided to work. She took out a sheet of paper and wrote down every detail she remembered from the eclipse killer case. She tried to shut out the sneering voice that said Grissom won't accept her notes anyways.

The one thing about the briefed notes in her book that always troubled her were the footnotes she had included in them. Major portions of her memory did return but there were still a few stray holes that caused a sense of disconnection. For example, she did not remember the precise moment when she had become a CSI Level 3 nor did she remember the exact clues that had led her to Jordan Burke's motel. Hours later, her forensic texts piled on the coffee table along with maps, Vegas tourist guides and her physics book opened to the chapter on Occultation, the correct term for the phenomena known as Solar Eclipse, Sara was frenetically writing on a notepad. Her notebook was on her lap and Sara worked on it with as much fervor as she experienced while cracking a mathematical problem.

She did not hear the doorbell at first, dismissing every outward stimuli into the background. Sara finally realized someone was at her front door. On impulse, she glanced at her watch. It was 3 in the morning. People did not visit her home at 3 in the morning. If she was honest with herself, people did not visit her apartment at all.

She rushed to her bedroom and retrieved her Glock. She tucked it beneath her shirt, with one hand secured around its trigger. Sara opened the door a crack, the chain still fastened. She was both relieved and surprised to find Grissom on the other end.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

She opened the door and stared at him. "What are you doing here at this hour?"

"I'm sorry to come by so late without calling you." He appeared edgy and a little shaken. She closed the door and laid her fingertips on his arm.

"Come on in. Would you like something to drink?"

"No, I'm still on the clock." He rubbed his neck. "I won't take long. There was something I had to talk to you about."

Sara folded her arms over each other and leant against her bookshelf, waiting for him to continue.

"It's about that the day you had your accident."

Sara sighed. "Look Grissom, I know I was wrong and I should have mentioned it to someone."

"Well, yes, you should have. But I also understand why you didn't." He moved closer to her. "Catherine told me the truth."

They stood motionless, waiting for the other to say something. Finally, Sara shrugged. "Okay."

"Why did you lie?" He searched her eyes.

"I didn't want you to be in a position where you have to choose sides. I know you value all your CSIs equally and the most that could happen to me is that I'll get suspended for a week or so. Considering I've just recovered from something this big, a week wouldn't hurt."

"I know what helps you; work." Grissom tilted his head.

She frowned. "What are you saying?"

"I want you back in the lab, Sara. The case needs you." His hand hesitated in mid-air before gently touching her shoulder. "I need you."

"As a colleague or as a friend?"

"Neither." Grissom's eyes looked darker than Sara had ever seen them. "I need you as something more."

"Grissom?" She looked at him uncertainly.

"Sara, I know I've messed up our relationship a couple of times. I thought I could run away from my emotions and maintain a purely professional attitude towards you. But contrary to what everyone thinks, I'm very much human." He gave a somber smile. "I may have thrown away my chance with you and you are free to tell me so. I just want you to know that over the years… you have… affected me."

"I admit I was… drawn towards you." Sara spoke carefully. "I just… right now…" She unsuccessfully sought words.

"I understand." Grissom quickly put in. "I'm not applying any pressure. I just wanted to tell you this."

She covered his hand with her own. "I never got to thank you for the other night. The dinner was great and I know how much you hate these fancy dates."

"I don't hate it, Sara. I just found it pointless, until I met you." He smiled.

"Thank you again."

"You sound as if I'm doing you a favor."

Sara inwardly shook – _You have no idea_. "I think any woman would be flattered. We should do it again, sometime."

He was taken aback. "You mean a fancy date?"

"A date. I don't care if it's fancy or not."

"I… I…" He was amazed. "I like that. How does breakfast sound for starters?"

She forced a smile. "Sounds good."

"Then get some sleep. I'll pick you up at eight." Grissom leant forward. "And remember, you are returning back to the lab tomorrow."

* * *

I see brickbats coming my way :P (looks left, right, forwards, backward) 


	30. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty Nine**

Sara felt as if she was walking into the lab in slow motion. She was reminded of one of those horror flicks where everyone greets you with a broad smile but evil lurking in their hearts.

Of course, she knew she was being silly. These were people she had worked with for six years and though she barely exchanged words with most of them, they had no reason to feel malicious towards her. She bumped into Hodges who was coming out of his trace lab. Bracing herself for one of his arrogant jest, she was surprised when he warmly welcomed her back. Even more surprising was Ecklie's reaction. His "hello" was cheerfully friendly compared to the cold reception he usually gave her.

She recognized the rock music blaring from Greg's lab.

"You know, Greg, your choice in music seriously disturbs me." Sara smirked. "I can almost picture you in a Marilyn Manson music video and trust me it's not a pleasant image to have."

"Which just goes to show that you have some X-rated imagination in that head of yours." Greg returned jovially.

"Finally someone who agrees with me." Nick joined in. "Hey Sara, welcome back."

"Hold your hands, Nick. You don't get to hug her before me." Greg assumed a mock threatening look. "I'm the knight in shining armor who valiantly tried to save her from the bad guys."

"I wonder who needed the saving." Nick rolled his eyes.

"Children." Warrick sighed and smiled down at Sara. "Glad to have to you back."

Sara's gave a genuinely warm smile. "It's nice to be back."

* * *

Jordan Burke's life was splayed out in front of Sara as she worked through every stage. From the moment he was born to his growing up years and his eventual employment into a software programming company.

On the surface, Jordan Burke appeared quite unremarkable. He was an average student in college. He graduated with a diploma in automotive engineering and then was hired by a local garage. He moved out of his house when he was twenty three and had apparently lived alone. He didn't have a wide social circle and no known love life.

He was one of those many who lived and died without the rest of the world getting wiser.

But what made the life of this unremarkable man very remarkable, at least for Sara's investigation, was the fact that Jordan's credit records, employment, bills, and virtually any signs of existence stopped during the time of his step brother's accident. It was as if, Joseph died and took Jordan along with him, to be crude.

To allow Sara to slowly ease her way back into the lab, Grissom didn't assign her any new cases. He frequently dropped by the lab to make sure everything was alright with her. Even though, he didn't send her to the field, he didn't deter her from making contributions if the others had no problems.

If Sara was surprised at his strange behavior, she didn't show it. There was a time when she would have done anything to get this kind of attention from him. There was a time when she had wished for him to look at her as someone more than a mere colleague.

The lab techs smirked knowingly when they saw Grissom move that extra inch near her. Sara even caught the wink Nick threw her way and the theatrical pout Greg put on for her benefit. Warrick smiled in his big-brother way as if to say he was happy for her.

As for Catherine, Sara had no idea what she thought. She hadn't seen her blonde coworker since she had returned. According to Greg, Catherine was assigned a db at Henderson

Sara was admittedly relieved from not having to confront Catherine. Though, at the same time some repressed part of her wanted to catch a glimpse of the gorgeous CSI. Before her emotions got anymore complicated, Sara once again plunged into her work.

She surmised that all the victims were in some remote way connected to the countries witnessing the eclipse. But Sara knew that there must be a more direct way of linking all of then. The killer must have some way of access to the victims. The paper trail from Max and Randy had ended at an account named under Joseph Burke. Whatever she did, she eventually ended at the Burkes. The trouble was that one Burke brother was dead and the other was missing. The missing brother was definitely a likely suspect, if only he could be found.

After hours of finding some association between the victims, Sara realized she had drained her body of both energy and alertness. She stretched and went to the break room to get herself a blueberry grain bar and a cup of steaming, strong coffee. She was pulling a double that day and more than three weeks of rest had made her lazy. She needed to hone her body to once again withstand her racy work schedule.

Stimulated and fuelled, Sara was walking back to the lab when she thought she heard somebody call her. She looked around at the corridors but didn't find anyone. Frowning, she continued walking when the shout came again. Sara noticed she was standing in front of Catherine's office. The shout had come from inside, from a little blonde girl waving at her.

"Lindsay!" A delighted smile sprung up on her lips. Without thinking, she pushed open the door.

"Sara!" Lindsay threw her arms around the tall brunette in a bear hug. Sara returned the embrace. To her embarrassment, Sara felt tears form in her eyes and she quickly brushed them away.

"How are you, Sara?" Lindsay was controlling herself from shouting in her usual, perky manner. "I missed you so bad."

"I missed you too, kiddo." Sara ruffled those light curls. "And I'm good. How's everything going, Lindz?"

"The house is so lonely." Lindsay sulked. "There's no one to play with me, to help me with my homework, to talk to me."

"Your Mom is there."

"Mom's always in a bad mood nowadays."

"Oh."

"You didn't even call. You just forgot me, didn't you?" Lindsay accused.

"Of course, I didn't forget you." Sara brought the girl closer for another hug. "But I've been a little busy lately."

"Would you come visit me when you are not so busy anymore?" She pleaded.

"I… err… I'll definitely try." Sara smiled. "But you can always come visit me."

"Really?" The blue eyes, very like her mother's, brightened up.

"Truly. Absolutely."

"So can we go to your place tomorrow?" Lindsay was jumping with eagerness.

"Tomorrow...?"

"Yeah, after my play."

"Your… oh my God, it's your play tomorrow." Sara rubbed her forehead. "I totally forgot."

"And I want to invite you." Lindsay took out an embossed invitation pass.

"I…" Sara clutched the smooth card. "Thank you, Lindsay."

"You'll come, won't you?"

"I'll definitely try." She managed a smile.

"And then we are going to your place next, right?"

"Sure, if you want to."

"Settled then." A deep smile of satisfaction planted itself on Lindsay's lips.

* * *


	31. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty**

Catherine met a few parents she recognized and smiled at them. Most of them were couples. Tonight was a huge night. Alexander Dawson School had always prided itself in its drama department and held annual functions to display the skills of their young performers. She heard Nancy warn Jeremy to behave. They threaded their way across the crowds waiting to be guided into their assigned seats. A lanky teenage boy, dressed in a smart dress suit, greeted Catherine and Nancy with a gracious smile. He peered into their passes.

"Third row, numbers 62, 63 and 64." He pointed at the said location before turning his attention towards other guests.

The auditorium hushed down in half an hour as most of the guests were settled into their seats and the lights were dimmed. The school drama teacher, a stout middle-aged woman welcomed all the parents and guests and gave a brief introductory speech. After that, a group of second graders, all dressed in frilly red and white costumes, scuttled towards the center of the stage and broke out in a cute song. They exited amidst a roar of applause.

The hosts for the evening parodied Laurel and Hardy. The audience laughed at the antics of these famous comic buffoons. The highlight of the evening was due next, the re-enactment of Shakespeare's popular comedy, _The Merchant of Venice._

Catherine ensured that Nancy was capturing everything on their camcorder. The curtains parted to reveal a set resembling what looked like a medieval Italian town. Three slight figures were standing somewhere in the middle, dressed in man's trousers, hooded cloak and feathered caps.

"_In sooth, I know not why I am so sad:  
It wearies me; you say it wearies you;  
But how I caught it, found it, or came by it,  
What stuff 'tis made of, whereof it is born,  
I am to learn;  
And such a want-wit sadness makes of me,  
That I have much ado to know myself."_ - The one dressed in the flashiest of costume spoke.

"That's Lindsay!" Catherine breathed out excitedly. Nancy nodded and smiled, focusing the camera's lens on Lindsay.

The play was going smoothly and Catherine sat there, captivated by the performances. She had never attended a Shakespearean play but even her inexperienced eye could see how much effort was put in it to make it look authentic. She was especially enthralled by Lindsay's acting. To see her daughter on the stage assume a confident pose and deliver her dialogues flawlessly made her heart rise in pride.

But just as things were going great, Lindsay encountered a slight hitch.

Therefore go, those griefs and losses have so bated me…" Lindsay glanced at her fellow actors. "Err… bated me… uhh…"

To Catherine's horror, murmurs and whispers began to spread within the audience. She willed her daughter to look her way but the girl only stared ahead of her, frantically trying to remember her lines.

"Those griefs and losses have so bated me… umm…" Lindsay repeated again and swallowed.

"Lindsay, honey forget the line and go to the next one." Catherine silently worded to her daughter. Her hands froze as she saw her girl shiver in embarrassment.

"Bated me... me…" Lindsay bit her lip and her knees felt like jelly. Lindsay could hear whispers from the backstage but her mind seemed to have filtered them and she didn't understand anything.

"Shit, Cath, she's panicking." Nancy murmured in anxiety. "Do something!"

But Catherine couldn't do anything. She felt Lindsay's discomfort and humiliation as sharply as if it were hers.

_Baby, look at Mommy._ _Look at me, honey. Everything will be alright_ – Catherine could have really done with some telepathic abilities right then.

That's when she heard a harsh whisper beside her. She turned towards her left, almost ready to snark at her neighbor if he was another one of those nasty gigglers. Her heart stopped for a second as she recognized who it was.

Sara enunciated the word 'flesh' and mimed it by grabbing a handful of skin on her hand. Lindsay's gaze finally fell upon her. She stared with confusion at Sara, trying to understand what the brunette was saying. And then it struck her.

"_That I shall hardly spare a pound of flesh  
To-morrow to my bloody creditor"_

– Lindsay took a deep breath and calmed herself. She then continued her lines.

Sara leant back, her heartbeats returning to normal. For a moment, she was almost ready to shout out the lines at the stage. She rubbed her arm and discovered how cold she had gotten.

"Thank you." Catherine whispered, really touched.

Sara didn't look at her. "You are welcome."

* * *

Everyone lauded enthusiastically as the last scene ended and all the performers bowed dignifiedly at the audience. The hosts returned with some more comedy and then the school Principal gave a short speech of gratitude and praise for the young actors. 

"Sara?" Nancy was stunned when they all stood up to leave.

"Hi Nancy." Sara greeted awkwardly.

"It's nice to see you." Nancy smiled but she shot her sister a questioning look. Catherine just shrugged.

"Thanks. Lindsay dropped by an invitation, so, umm… yeah…"

The uncomfortable silence surrounded them like a charged cloud as they exited the auditorium. Sara trailed off behind them, her hands shoved inside her jacket. She had fought an hour long argument with herself, outlining all the pros and cons of attending Lindsay's play. Eventually, she had decided to swallow her discomfort and pride and go for the sake of the little girl she had gotten attached to.

Lindsay arrived with much fanfare as many parents congratulated her on her performance. Catherine hugged her baby and showered her with praises. Nancy kissed her niece while Jeremy giggled and said Lindsay looked funny in the costume.

Lindsay turned to Sara who was silently waiting for her turn.

"Sara, thanks for helping me out." Catherine detected real affection in her daughter's voice and felt her heart thud again.

"Anytime, kiddo. We all make mistakes. Do you know how many times those Hollywood actors have to do retakes just because they mess up their lines?" Sara assumed a mock serious expression. "Theatre's for real performers like you."

"You really think I did well?" Lindsay asked, anxiously.

"I think you are the next star. And yes, really, truly, absolutely." Sara grinned.

"Great! So now can we go to your house?"

Catherine blinked. "Go where?"

"Sara said I could go to her place after the play."

"I… err…" Sara stuttered helplessly.

Nancy gave a nervous cough. "Hey, I think I'll take a rain check on that. I've got work early tomorrow. It was again nice seeing you, Sara."

Catherine grabbed her sister's elbow and took her to the side. "You can't just leave me like this." She hissed.

"What, you want me to be the third wheel?" Nancy smirked.

"But I can't go over to her apartment!" Catherine almost wailed.

"My darling sister, right now I don't see an alternative." Her violet eyes gleamed with mischief. "Maybe not all's lost yet."

"You are so dead." Catherine growled.

Sara was torn by hundred conflicting desires and didn't know what to say when she saw Catherine return towards them.

"Lindsay, we shouldn't trouble Sara." Catherine mumbled at her daughter. "She must be tired."

"But she said…"

"I know what she said but that doesn't mean you keep pestering her. Some other day, ok honey?"

"You keep saying that." Lindsay moaned. "Ever since she left, I've not seen Sara. And you won't even talk to me about her."

Catherine briefly traded a look with Sara who knelt down and gathered Lindsay in her arms. "Catherine, I really don't mind."

"Well, I…"

"Mom, please!" Lindsay was bobbing up and down with eagerness.

"I'll drop her back home." Sara said.

Catherine realized, with a sinking disappointment, that Sara's invitation didn't include her. She mustered a brave smile and gave her agreement. She sadly watched her daughter chattering animatedly as Sara led her into her Prius.

She waved at her daughter and saw Sara open the driver's door. The woman didn't turn towards her or bid goodbye. The engine started and the car rumbled away.

Catherine had her car radio blare to above average levels and let the music pump away any other thoughts. She knew she was being childish but according to her, Sara wasn't being any better. By the time she reached home, she had associated every negative adjective she remembered with Sara.

That weekend, Catherine was sure she had lost valuable enamel from grinding her teeth so hard. Lindsay had begged and begged to spend the weekend with Sara. It wasn't that Catherine didn't trust Sara. She knew the brunette would guard her daughter with her life. She just didn't trust her own feelings. Lindsay's eyes would go as bright as saucers while she related how Sara had served her the 'bestest' peach shakes or the most sinful chocolate brownies. She would blabber on and on about some RPGs on Sara's computer and how she had books with 'cool' pictures of stars and planets. And listening to her daughter, Catherine couldn't help the fluffy, tingling feeling inside her stomach.

For a while, Catherine thought that letting Lindsay spend some time with Sara wasn't a bad idea. Her daughter could prove just the bridge for them to repair their damaged relationship. But then, reason would steal away those moments of peace and remind her that the more time she spent close to Sara's presence, the harder it would be for her to forget the brunette.

Of course, she had her dates with random strangers and brief lustful encounters to occupy herself. But every time someone touched her, she couldn't throw away the image of Sara from her mind. She couldn't help remember the spark of awareness Sara's slightest touch brought to her.

Then there was her work, which she loved. But she could have concentrated better if she wasn't always jumping at someone's voice or a footstep, thinking it was Sara.

Then there was TV, the ultimate attention diverter. But in the middle of a show, Catherine would turn to talk to Sara. Her heart sunk to her shoes when she discovered that she was all alone on the couch.

Of course, there was her music collection. But could she listen to those tunes in the same way again, knowing that she had heard Sara hum those very same words?

And whenever Catherine realized she hadn't thought of Sara for a while, she would start thinking of the woman again.

And Lindsay's awe-struck ramblings weren't helping, definitely not.

* * *

You people are great! Thanks for the reviews... keep 'em comin' and comin'! 

I know I'm on a rush with the chapters right now. Blame it on the CSI marathons and hours of unemployment :P

And yes, the angst is done. Things will go, uh, smoother for now...


	32. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty One**

Grissom frowned at the vacant look on Sara's face. He cleared his throat to get her attention.

"Huh? What?"

"You didn't hear what I said, did you?" He complained.

"I'm sorry." She sighed. "What were you saying?"

"Sara, is something troubling you?" Grissom leant forward.

"No."

"Did you talk to Dr. Rothman?"

"Yes."

"And what did he say?"

"He said I'm doing great."

"That's it?"

She pursed her lips. "There's nothing medically wrong with me, if that's what you are wondering."

"You've been distant for a while now." He pointed out.

"Define distant."

"Sara." Grissom let out a deep breath.

"Define distant." She repeated.

"When you are with me, you are not with me." He was markedly uncomfortable with the conversation. "It's as if your thoughts are somewhere else."

"I suppose I'm still a little overwhelmed." Sara tried to explain.

"And is our relationship making you more overwhelmed?"

"It's making me… unsure." She admitted. "All those years I've been chasing you and you never looked at me."

"It wasn't like that." He protested. "I liked you, a lot. I just didn't know what to do with it."

"And now it's me who doesn't know what to do."

"Are you angry with me?"

Sara played with the salt shaker, spinning it on the table top. "For a long time, I think I was. You gave all these mixed signals all the time."

"I was a conflict within myself." Grissom tried to justify.

"I know and I now truly understand it. I understand how difficult it is when the lines between professional and personal begin to blur."

He tried to catch her eye but she wasn't looking at him. He tried to clasp her hand but her touch was abstract and unresponsive. What he had suspected was confirmed.

"Do you like someone else?"

Sara didn't reply. But the salt shaker slipped from her fingers and scattered white crystals all over the table.

Grissom felt his throat tighten, not because it was possible that Sara liked someone else but because she couldn't tell him about it.

"Sara?"

"Grissom, I…"

"I would rather have a friend who completely trusts and confides in me than have a lover who feels she is obligated to stay with me."

Sara looked up and he almost gasped at the wetness in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I really don't know what's wrong with me." She choked.

"You can't help who you love."

"And how do you know it is love?" She questioned.

"I don't have an answer to that. You sometimes just _know_." He wisely murmured.

"Love is nothing but a human biological condition." Sara mused bitterly. "And if it is indeed something beyond and above that, why is it often one-sided?"

He laced his fingers together and looked out of the diner window. "The story of the Black Widow spider is very common. Once the male copulates with the female, she kills him. Humans, I suppose, would instantly find this cruel on the part of the female. But the fact is that the males are no more able to resist mating than the females are able to resist killing. It's tragic but it occurs. Avoiding tragedy is all the more tragic. Imagine, if the males said, 'Alright, having sex means I'm going to die and I don't want to die'. That would have detrimental consequences for the Black Widow species." Grissom sagely smiled. "Same way, you don't know if your love is going to be reciprocated and if it does not, it's truly sad. But to avoid unreciprocated love means you are never going to love. That would inevitably mean the end of all things beautiful."

Sara was dumbstruck by his monologue. She was one of the few who knew Grissom wasn't a mere piece of unfeeling machine in flesh. He had passions and fears. However, he barely ever talked about it. But when he did, the pure logical and matter-of-fact way that he reduced it in always amazed her.

"So, you think loving isn't useless?"

He shrugged. "Human beings devote so much time and energy in glorifying, preserving, understanding and then criticizing love. I would like to think we are intelligent enough to not go through all that trouble for something useless. It is potent, though the nature of its usefulness is a mystery."

He was still looking out. He appeared a little morose. Sara realized it wasn't because of what she said but because of something else, something long gone.

"Was that how you felt about Lady Heather?" Her words came out carefully.

Almost instantly, he spun towards her. Bafflement and then pain flattened his usually keen gaze. Grissom didn't say anything, but the question nevertheless transmitted across to Sara.

"C'mon, just because I've never actively been part of a case involving Lady Heather, doesn't mean I wasn't aware of who she was." Sara gave a knowing smile. "Or what she meant to you."

"I don't know how I feel about her." He admitted honestly.

"Maybe the very same… uh… Black Widow example can be used for you too, hmm?"

"Maybe."

A moment, shared between the two in mutual hopelessness of their feelings, passed. Grissom then glanced at his watch. "It's almost time for shift to start. You ready to get out into the field tonight?"

"Up and ready." She replied.

"Good, because I could do with some help. Catherine's taken a day off and Greg's coming down with the flu." He grimaced.

"Why is Catherine taking a day off?"

"Something about enrolling Lindsay into an aerobics class early tomorrow morning."

_Aerobics class?_ – For some reason, that information made her uneasy. She couldn't quite point her finger as to why. Shaking her head, she tried to calm herself.

_I need to stop thinking so much about the Willows women_ – Sara admonished herself – _Well, the younger Willows is fine but thinking about her mother is absolutely NOT fine for my peace of mind.

* * *

_

Sara was exhilarated to once again work in a crime scene. She felt the familiar thrill of trying to find evidence. She could hear Warrick snap pictures of the dead body.

"Poor guy, must have been struck by the million dollar curse." She thought out aloud. Warrick shook his head in sadness as she held up a winner's check for him.

"Everyday people come to Vegas to become rich but most of them end up even more ruined." He muttered.

All samples swabbed and bagged, they headed back towards the crime lab. On the way, Warrick asked her whether she had any headway in the serial killer case.

"It's turning colder as we speak and soon we would have to close it. The next solar eclipse, the guy will strike again. This is just so frustrating." She groaned.

"You've been through a lot, Sara. It's hard to be back in that same frame of mind. You just need to retrace whatever you know. The evidences, the signature, anything connecting the victims…"

"Wait." Sara chewed her thumbnail as a thought began to emerge in her mind. "Something connecting the victims… something…"

"Sara?" Warrick was confused.

"Warrick, can you drive faster?"

"I could try and break traffic rules." He gave her a side grin. "But I doubt that'll go very well with Ecklie. What's wrong?"

"There's something I need to look at in my files." She had on a bemused expression. "I have a feeling I missed something."

"Okay, hang on." Saying that, the SUV took a sudden lurch and he swerved it to the right. Sara clung to her seat belt as they entered a smaller, dilapidated looking lane.

"Where's this?" She scrunched up her nose.

"A short cut." He gave her a wink.

"Not to my grave, I hope." The vehicle bounced roughly. Sara shut her eyes as they almost crashed into a group of boys. She tried not to think of what went under the wheels as sounds of breaking and cracking were heard. The ride was over in a couple of minutes and Warrick steered into the main highway.

She breathed. "Good job."

"Yes ma'am." He grinned.

* * *

Several files were staring open at Sara as she used them all to compare against each other. She read one and then cross checked it with the others.

"Fuck!" She cursed so loudly that the technicians walking down the hallways stopped and stared into the lab.

"Everything ok, Sara?" Warrick glowered at the onlookers which led them to scurry back to their work.

"I can't believe I missed this." Sara exclaimed. "I'm so stupid."

"I'm sure you are not." He assured her. "Now what did you miss?"

"Aerobics." She shouted. He only raised his eyebrow in question.

"All of the victims were going to enroll into an aerobics class that week. It was their first session and…" Sara stopped. A mind-numbing fear washed over her as she just realized something.

"Warrick, has Catherine ever been to Africa, Malaysia or Central Asia?"

Warrick was momentarily perplexed at the sudden change of topic. He carefully thought and then shook his head. "Naw, not that I know of. But I think Eddie went to Malaysia as the replacement drummer for a band."

"Shit!" She screamed. The file fell from her suddenly paralyzed hands.

* * *

I hope this chapter eternally throws the GSR out of my story :P

Once again, thank you for the reviews! The story's coming to an end and wouldn't have reached this far without your wonderful comments. Just plz continue with them until the last chapter:)


	33. Chapter 32

**Chapter Thirty Two**

"C'mon, Catherine, c'mon, pick up the damn phone." Sara bellowed as her call reached nothing but continuous ringing.

"Does anyone know where this aerobics class is?" Nick asked, worried.

"She didn't tell me." Grissom frowned in concern.

"I'm going to Catherine's house." Warrick stopped pacing and got ready to leave.

"Hello Catherine?" Everyone froze at Sara's voice. "God, Catherine where are you?"

Miles away from the crime lab, Catherine took a moment to recover from the shock of hearing Sara's voice. "Sara?"

"Just tell me where you are!"

"I'm… I'm at Joe's Diner, getting some coffee. Why?"

"Where's Lindsay?"

"She's at an aerobics class."

"Is she alone?"

"Yes." Catherine was getting nervous. "Sara, you are scaring me. What the hell is going on?"

"Catherine, where's this class?" Sara made an unsuccessful attempt to sound calm.

"It's at 21-340 Weston Street East. Sara, would you just tell me what's happening?" She yelled.

"Catherine, go there immediately. Wait for us. We'll be sending squad cars."

"Squad cars?" Alarm shot through her. "For what?"

"Listen to me." Sara wet her lips. "All the previous victims had their first aerobics session the week they died. The class was at 340 Weston Street E." She heard Catherine gasp. "Cath, we'll be arriving soon, all of us. Wait for us, don't go…"

"Dammit!" Sara swore when she heard the line cut off. She had no doubt that Catherine was already charging towards the location. If the blonde wasn't careful, the killer wouldn't deter from committing two murders.

The five CSIs rushed out of the lab.

* * *

The sky was chalked with heavy clouds that darkened early morning Vegas in gloom. Weston Street was a strictly business area and as such was quite deserted this early in the day. Brass and two uniformed officers surreptitiously made their way into the building with a large '340' engraved on its front. Behind him, Sara and Warrick followed. Their fingers lay securely over their CSI- issued handgun. They had a clear view of Catherine's Denali parked in front of the building. 

'21 she said, right?" Brass whispered into Sara's ears. She simply nodded.

The office was in the north wing, which appeared to be the older section of the building. The carpets were frayed with regular wash. House plants in earthen pots tried to freshen the smell of disinfectant. Oil paintings hung on the cream walls. The CSIs took careful notice of their surroundings, more by habit than necessity. As they neared the said location, Sara could sense the tension in her muscles. She had never fired a shot and she hoped she never had to. But being on the LVPD meant that she expect the unexpected.

Brass was about to yell when voices filtered in from the room. He traded looks with Warrick and Sara. Warrick placed a finger over his lips and motioned for the officers to back away. He stealthily approached the door and placed his ear upon it.

Brass did the same. Sara stood near, her every nerve twitching to do something.

"You just let her go and we can make a deal." They heard Catherine say.

"Deal? You really think I'm going to believe you." A male voice, calm but a little rusty, spoke. "I'm wanted for multiple homicides. If they catch me, nothing you do will save me from the death row."

"Damn right." Brass mouthed silently.

"Look, she hasn't done anything to you. She's innocent. Let her go and take me instead."

"That is precisely why I need to take her. Your blood is too defiled to please the Lord. She, on the other hand, has been spared the evils of the world."

Sara clenched her fingers around her gun. She could feel the officers shift restlessly behind her.

"You really think you'll get away with this?" A shuffling sound from inside.

"Don't move or else I'll blow her." The man gave a throaty chuckle. "Though I wouldn't prefer it but I'll do what I have to do."

"Take me instead." Catherine had assumed a pleading voice.

He laughed. "Eager to get killed, are you? Oh, don't worry, you are going to die. This little thing would be sacrifice… but you? I'm truly going to love killing you because it will mean purging the world of the Devil's soul."

Outside, they couldn't take it anymore. They knew the maniac wouldn't hesitate to kill and he would be doing it very soon. They had one choice and it was a big risk.

Brass took Sara by the elbow and carefully pulled her to the side, away from the door. Once satisfied that they wouldn't be heard, Brass whispered to her. Sara frowned and then nodded. She tightened her jaw and shoved her gun behind her. Brass gestured for Warrick and the officers to hide themselves out of sight. Warrick gave Sara a worried look but did as Brass ordered.

She knocked on the door and in her shrillest voice, called out: "Yo Freddie! Open up you dumb fuck, I know you in there. You think you can leave me alone with the kids and fuck that pea-brained, fake-boob, assistant of yours? I tell ya, honey, I'm not lettin' ya go. Open the damn door or I'm gonna use that scream you used to dig so much."

A crash and then some muffled sounds came from inside. The door opened to reveal a clean-shaven, slick-haired man in his late thirties.

"Who are you?" He blinked at Sara. He was obviously not expecting someone like her.

"You not Freddie?" Her eyes were narrowed in anger.

"No and get lost." He proceeded to close the door when Sara jutted her foot in and socked his jawbone.

That momentary disorientation cost him and Brass and his officers stormed in.

"Las Vegas Police, freeze!"

Acting quickly, he swung his gun out and pointing to his temple, he shot himself.

"Get the paramedics in here!" Warrick yelled as he saw the guy topple. The man had a victorious sneer.

Sara didn't so much as glance at him as she shoved him aside and went in the room. The first thing she noticed was Catherine lying down on the floor. Her blonde hair was matted with blood.

Alarmed, Sara hurried towards her. She gingerly brushed aside the strands of hair to get a better look at the wound. A cursory glance told her that the injury wasn't fatal. It was just deep enough to have knocked Catherine out for a brief minute.

At that very moment, Sara noticed Lindsay in the corner. The girl was unconscious and bound.

"You get Lindsay. I'll see to Catherine." Warrick knelt beside her.

Sara untied the girl's hands and removed the gag. Lindsay fell limply into her hands. The psycho had most likely drugged her heavy.

The next few minutes flashed away in a blur. The paramedics carried away the injured. Grissom and Nick were called away from the building perimeters by Brass. The CSIs accompanied Catherine and Lindsay in one ambulance while Brass and his police escorted the fatally shot killer.

* * *

Catherine had required few stitches and some pain killers. The doctors pronounced that there was nothing lethal in Lindsay's system and she came about in an hour. Assured that his friend and Lindsay was not in any serious danger, Grissom advised his team to immediately get back onto the case. The guy, who the office records identified as Willis Rookman, had no registered home address and therefore the only scene to process was the office. Grissom sent Warrick and Nick on that. 

The bullet hadn't penetrated Rookman's skull but merely grazed it. The doctors had finished of with him only to hand him into the custody of the eagerly awaiting Brass.

Sara accompanied Brass to the ward for the questioning. This wasn't standard protocol but neither could wait till Rookman was able to walk into the interrogation room.

Willis Rookman was resting against the giant hospital pillows. The blue starched gown did little to hide his bony ranginess. His eyes were a sharp azure and they never left Sara from the moment she entered the ward. His expression was placid.

"Mr. Rookman, how are you doing?" Brass asked. His tone suggested that he didn't care how Rookman was doing.

"I'm doing fine, officer." Rookman murmured contemptuously.

"Captain." He narrowed his eyes. "Captain Brass."

""I don't give a damn if you are Captain Planet." Rookman cocked his head to the side and shot Sara a blank smile. "_You_ are a beautiful detective."

Sara didn't bother to correct him. She wasn't even sure why they were going through generalities with this man. She wanted nothing better than to be the one to inject the poison into his IV.

"Were you going to kill Lindsay Willows?" Brass asked.

"Yes." Rookman replied calmly.

"What about Catherine Willows?"

"The mother? No. She wasn't supposed to be there. Lindsay wasn't supposed to die today. But her mother screwed up and I had to accelerate my plans."

"It didn't really work, did it? You got screwed up instead." Sara gave him a hard look.

He merely shrugged. "Yeah, I should have known. I've made plans for a long time and it always worked because I stuck to them. The good Lord is my witness and he punished me for being impetuous today."

"Why did you want to kill her?"

"Kill? Aah, such a harsh term. We think killing and we immediately think of oooh… a heinous crime." Rookman scratched his arm. "Truth is, we kill all the time. Trees and animals for food. Trees and animals for pleasure. Trees and animals for luxury."

"You just went one step further. You kill humans."

"I would rather call it doing God's work." The first sign of real emotion crossed Rookman's face. He looked truly pleased.

"God asked you to kill innocent, young girls?" Sara arched her eyebrows.

"The Lord asked me to save them from this miserable existence. He asked me to rescue them from the satanic influences of the current generation. I brought them closer to God. They are undoubtedly relishing in His glorified presence right now."

"And you know this because?" Brass tried to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

"Captain Brass, you are clearly a disbeliever. I don't blame you. Most people in your profession are. The protectors have been corrupted to the Dark Side." Rookman looked bored. "It is left to the true followers like me to do God's work."

Sara rolled her eyes impatiently. "You were a student in Astronomical Sciences. You expect us to believe that you are some Holier-than-thou disillusioned lunatic? Try again."

"The Sciences have become heretical. They challenge God at every step. They do not understand that the Omnipotent doesn't need to prove His existence."

"Oh right."

"Why choose solar eclipse? That sounds more like a satanic cult influence than something out of your usual Sunday School Lessons."

"Did you know that at the hour when our Lord Jesus Christ was crucified, there was a solar eclipse?" He smirked at the blank expressions on Sara's and Brass' faces. "But of course, I don't expect you to know."

"What has that got to do with anything?" Sara asked.

"Jesus sacrificed himself to purge off the sins from the world. Unfortunately, people never took him seriously then. Many still don't. I needed to save as many young souls as possible."

"You think he's looking for the insanity plea?" Sara asked Brass once they were out of the ward.

He looked towards the ward with disgust. "It's possible. Mass media influence has educated our criminals."

"What should we do?" She sighed.

"That is really for the DA to decide." He shook his head, helplessly.

"I just hope Nick and Warrick come up with something good. Rookman's obviously not going to talk to us without spewing God's holy words."

* * *

"How are you doing?" Grissom asked as he positioned himself on the metal-framed chair beside Catherine's bed. 

"My head feels as if I'm back in one of those strip clubs playing music over 100 decibels." She groaned. "But apart from that, I think I'm fine."

"Talked to Lindsay yet?"

"She was here a while ago. The doctors took her for some blood tests." Catherine's face had turned darkened. "Where's he?"

"Jim and Sara are talking to him."

"Sara figured it out, didn't she?"

Grissom nodded. "Just in time."

"I don't think I ever told you this but…" Catherine smiled. "You have amazing judgment. You knew Sara would be an invaluable member of our Crime Lab."

"She is an intelligent CSI and a very precious one at that."

"Yeah."

"I'm glad you agree."

She sighed. "Gil, why didn't you suspend me for putting Sara's life in danger?"

He pursed his lips. "I was going to. But I don't know how that will solve anything. The true offence was towards Sara. She is the one you need to apologize to."

"She doesn't want to hear it." Catherine stared down at her white hospital gown.

"Do you know why she lied and didn't implicate you the first time?" Grissom asked.

Catherine shook her head in a negative response.

"Did you try to find out?"

"She hardly wants to talk to me, Gil."

"Did you think about it?"

"Why are we playing Socrates?" She gave a frustrated groan.

He shook his head in a helpless gesture. Patting her hand, Grissom rose to leave. Suddenly he stopped in and spoke very softly, "Catherine?"

That made her look up at him and he waited until their eyes met. "Have you ever considered that an apology wasn't what she needed from you?"

* * *

smiles Thank you for the reviews, everybody! Will leave it up till here for now. I have a long author's note to put after the ending which will be the next time I update. Yeah, that's right, there's just one more chapter left :( 

Oh and, I don't know if there is a Weston Street in LV. This is purely a fictitious street and so if Weston Street happens to be a cozy residential neighborhood in LV, I apologize.

The "dark side" reference, well, we all know where _that_ came from.


	34. Chapter 33

**Chapter Thirty Three**

"Sara, you are going to love this." Nick announced as he walked into her lab.

"Tell me you have something to nail Rookman." She looked up eagerly.

"Oh, that and more." He grinned.

Sara arched her thinly shaped eyebrows in query.

"We just ran the DNA sample from Rookman into CODIS." Nick paused, with effect. "He's in the database."

"He has a criminal record, so?" Sara frowned, not quite understanding Nick's enthusiasm.

"He is in the record as a certain Joseph Burke."

Sara blinked several times, not sure she heard correctly. "Joseph Burke? The dead Joseph Burke?"

"The _apparently_ dead Joseph Burke." He rectified.

"You are saying he wasn't dead? How can that be?"

"Look at this." He showed her a picture of a man which looked like a younger, leaner and blonde-haired version of Joseph Burke. "This is Jordan, his step brother. Dye his hair, buff him up and not many would know the difference. Besides, Abigail IDed the body saying it was Joseph."

"So, you think Jordan was the one who was killed in the accident. Since it was Joseph's car, there were his IDs, no one thought otherwise." Sara was almost impressed by the ingenuity of it.

"Yep. Unlucky for Joseph, lucky for us, he had a previous record for misdemeanor and he got his little genetic print on CODIS."

"So… who's Rookman?" She skimmed through the report he gave her.

"A guy who died in 1989. Our killer used his IDs and several other IDs like those to hop around and hide. Welcome to the world of identity theft." He grimaced.

"So he knew what he was doing and he was planning it all along." She clenched her jaw. "And how does his ex girlfriend Abigail Donner fit into it?"

"He worked temporarily for Abigail's husband in Merchant Glass, hence the glass sample we found. It is possible she knew he was alive." Nick spoke.

"I'm assuming Brass has already sent her an invitation to come down here." Sara gave him a smile of content.

"You can always count on Brass to be thoughtful."

His features softened. "So, Sara, I wanted to tell you that I'm happy for you."

Sara sorted through the humus sample in front of her. "What for?"

"You and Grissom." He replied.

She looked up, stared at him for a few seconds and then returned her attention to her work. "Word sure moves fast around here."

"Oh, I don't think others know. I just happened to be extra observant after my conversation with Catherine." Nick smiled.

That made Sara's head rise up sharply. "What has Catherine got to do with this?"

He gave a cocky grin. "Hey, I know all about the role of Cupid she played in bringing you and Grissom together."

"What _are_ you talking about?"

The boyish glee on his face faded. "Uh… you know what? Forget what I said."

"Nick." She glared at him. "Tell me. Everything. Now."

He cleared his throat nervously. "It's nothing Sara, really. Just some silly talk I had with Catherine."

"And I want to know what it was."

Nick wished he had the ability to vanish into thin air right that moment. His words had tumbled out without caution and now he was in a sticky situation with Sara. He had no other route but to go honest.

"I just told Catherine how much Grissom meant to you. How much you were hurt when he brushed you off. I honestly didn't want to betray your confidence. She had just had a talk with Grissom and then she looked really serious and then she asked me about you and Grissom… I didn't want to tell her anything… but she told me she wanted to help both of you." Nick gulped. He hoped Sara understood his babblings.

"When was it?" A deep scowl was sketched on her but it didn't seem to be caused by anger.

"Um, I can't remember exactly. But it was Catherine's night off and she got called in because Grissom wanted to talk to her."

"Was it the day after Brenda was here?" Sara inquired.

Nick pondered and then his eyes brightened. "Yeah. It was the day after."

Sara's hands shook. She glanced around numbly, not sure of what to do. A million thoughts ran through her mind but none of them were coherent enough to result in an action.

"Sara, you okay?"

"I thought she was pushing me away." Sara was murmuring, not aware of Nick's presence anymore. "But she was pushing me towards Grissom."

"I thought she didn't want me. And she thought I didn't want her."

Nick felt his jaws slacken – _What the hell is she saying?_

"Sara, are you talking about…" He tried to speak past the lump in his throat. "Catherine?"

"She was afraid I would hate her. She hurt me because she thought I would hurt her." Sara continued under her breath, looking everywhere and at the same time, no where.

"Sara!" Nick's heart was pounding. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her gently. This caught her attention and she looked up into Nick's dark eyes.

"Nick." She whispered.

A thought, a thought both terrifying and bewildering, was forming in his mind. He wasn't sure he wanted to deal with it yet. Grissom had always taught him not to jump onto conclusions because it usually fogged the perception. He would give Sara the benefit of the doubt.

But after listening to her distracted words, he wondered how much of a doubt was left.

"You should talk to her." He didn't know what else to say.

* * *

Sara lingered outside Catherine's ward. She ignored the suspicious looks the nurses gave her. She was silently rehearsing things to say to Catherine. But, unfortunately, she could think of nothing appropriate to say.

Finally, gathering courage, Sara walked into the ward.

The dripping IV tubes and the rhythmical beeping of the machines eerily reminded her of her own hospital experience. The room smelled of… absolutely nothing and she hated it.

Catherine was asleep. A flower vase lay unused on the table beside the bed. Sara changed the water and placed the tulips, she had brought, in it.

Sara sat down and observed Catherine's sleeping form. Her golden mane framed those soft angular features. Her head was tilted somewhere to the right and one hand lay limply across her chest. Honeyed eyelashes kissed the pale skin underneath.

Sara reminded herself to breathe, so absorbed had she become while admiring the gorgeous woman in front of her. She slowly reached out for her hand. Catherine's skin was cool on touch and Sara let her fingers rest upon the forearm.

Catherine looked so peaceful in her sleep. Only the hideously huge bandages and the crimson blood blotting through the gauzes belied the terrifying incident she had endured.

Sara didn't know for how long she sat there staring at Catherine and remembering the times they had spent together. She almost didn't react when those brilliant blue eyes fluttered open and gazed into her own brown ones.

"Why are you crying?" Was the first thing that came out of Catherine's lips.

Sara hadn't been aware of the tears that now stained her face. She quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand and smiled. "It's nothing. How are you feeling?"

"Ok."

"Any lost memories?" Sara grinned.

Catherine laughed. "Would you take care of me if I said yes?"

Sara's expression turned serious. "I would."

Catherine lowered her gaze. "Why are you here?"

"I happen to care about you, that's why." Sara replied. "And I also needed some answers."

She closed her eyes. "Sara, I really don't think I'm in any position to have an argument with you."

Sara slightly squeezed Catherine's arm. "No arguments, I promise."

"Okay." The older woman shifted into a more comfortable position on the bed. "Shoot away."

"That day, did you really have a date or did you lie to me?"

Catherine understood exactly what she meant. Her eyes searched into Sara's, trying to understand why the brunette was asking her this question. But Sara had kept her look neutral.

"I lied to you." Catherine replied.

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does, to me."

She fingered the catheter inserted into her skin. "Because I wanted you to think that you didn't mean anything to me."

"And was it true? Did I mean nothing to you?"

"Sara." Catherine let out in a tortured voice. "Don't do this."

"You never told me about that conversation with Grissom. You never told me about what Nick told you." Sara continued.

Catherine's surprise lasted only for an instant before she sighed. "It wouldn't have made a difference."

"It would have made a huge difference, Cath." Sara slowly whispered.

The two looked at each other, wordlessly.

"You love Grissom." Catherine finally said.

"All these years, I thought I loved Grissom." She stared at the flowers in the vase. "That was before I understood what love was."

"You mean you and Grissom…"

"It required me to lose my memory to truly know who I am." Sara said.

"And who are you?" Catherine tried to ignore the faint glimmer of hope shining inside of her.

"I have always been… different." Sara stood up, feeling the need to pace and give her fretful nerves something to do. "When I was young, I was the _nerd_ in the gypsy _herd_. In high school, I was the geek you never talked to unless you had a science problem."

Catherine patiently listened. She wasn't entirely sure what Sara was getting at but she was grateful that the woman was at least talking to her. It seemed like ages since they last had a decent conversation.

"In society, I was the kid whose crazy mother killed her abusive husband." Sara carried on. "Foster parents never treated me ill but always kept me at a safe distance from the other kids. They thought violence is hereditary. In Harvard, Sororities thought I was too _strange_. I made few friends in college. But they were also of the _deviant group_ variety. So, I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I was tired of being different. I didn't want to be the odd one out anymore. And so I dated… guys."

Silence ensued. Catherine croaked out, "But you were gay?"

"Yes."

"That doesn't make you _odd_." Catherine complained.

"No, it doesn't. But those days, college life…" Sara shrugged. "Let's just say, I didn't want to be constantly held in display. I wanted to concentrate away from my personal life into my career."

"And then?"

"And then Grissom came along." She skipped several beats. "It felt great to finally meet someone who wasn't making all sorts of assumptions about me. He understood and respected me He recognized the potential in me and gave due credit. It was like finding a kindred soul."

"Gil sure has a way of making the most miserable people feel worthy." Catherine smiled at her own memories.

"I've never met anyone like him and to be honest, I didn't want to venture beyond him. He felt safe and dependable." Sara whispered. She had stopped walking back and forth and appeared deep in thought. "When he called me to Vegas, I thought it was because he felt the same. I wanted him to like me because that would mean someone finally likes me for who I am. When he rejected me… it wasn't a blow to my heart but my ego. He became an obsession."

"So, you never really… uh, loved him?" Catherine asked, confused.

"A fact I didn't want to consider." Sara stated. "Anyways, then I had my accident and fifteen years of my life was wiped out. I remembered Grissom but only the early stages of our friendship. In my mind, I was still in college. As a college kid, I was emotionally wounded but hadn't yet become embittered from the world. There were still the hopes and dreams of youth."

Winsomeness crossed Sara's face.

"You entered my life right at that moment. At the moment when Sara Sidle hadn't locked herself off from romance and her sexuality."

Catherine held her breath.

Sara still held a distant look. "I didn't recall being a CSI but you boosted my confidence all along. You made me believe I was appreciated and valued. No body ever did that. You brought Lindsay into my life and I could relive all those lost moments of childhood. You gave me friendship, pure and unconditional. For the first time in my life, I felt as if I was at home. That you are an extremely attractive woman just helped matters."

Catherine blushed and wished she could say something.

"There was nothing to stop me. There were no memories of Grissom, no career motivations, no bitterness towards the world in general. And before I knew, I…"

Sara slowly turned her head to face Catherine. The depth in those dark eyes seemed to have an almost hypnotic quality.

"Did you think I'll hate you when I'll remember everything?" Sara asked.

"Yes." Catherine answered, honestly.

"And you thought I'll remember my feelings for Grissom?"

"Yes."

"And you deliberately pushed me away so that I could be with Grissom?"

"I had to."

"Did it hurt you to do so?"

Catherine swallowed. "It did."

"Do you… like me?"

It was so simply asked that it took Catherine a long moment to register. She couldn't bring herself to lie even if her rationality fought and screamed. "I'm crazy about you."

At that moment, it felt as if the air had become lighter and rose above them. Catherine watched as Sara walked towards her. It appeared almost as a dream and she was afraid she'll open her eyes any moment. Sheer delight flowed through her as Sara tenderly picked up her hand and kissed her wrist.

"Is it safe for me to admit that I'm crazy about you too?" Sara huskily murmured.

"You are?" She gasped.

Sara lowered her face and kissed Catherine's lips. Catherine responded as she shivered uncontrollably with emotion. Sara, worried about the still fresh bruises near the mouth, reluctantly moved away.

"Now that I have allowed myself to finally be crazy about someone, I very much am." She whispered and traced the outline of Catherine's face with her fingers.

Catherine noticed the bright amber and red blossoms by her bed. "Are those flowers for me?"

Sara plucked out one single stem from the bunch and stroked its petals delicately. "There was a man called Farhad. He was so heartbroken when he was separated from his beloved that he wanted to die. He killed himself in anguish. They say that he squeezed out his life into every blood drop he shed."

"Those drops must have been very precious." Catherine was touched by the romanticism in Sara.

"They were. They dropped to the ground and bloomed into…" Sara smiled ardently and handed the flower to Catherine. "Tulips. Till this day, the Persians consider tulips to be an expression of love."

Catherine brought the tulip close to her heart. "I'm so sorry to have ever hurt you."

Sara's fingernail caught the tear in Catherine's eye. "You were hurt too"

"I was."

"I'll forgive you, on a single condition." A devious grin shaped Sara's lips. "We will finish that dance we started the other day."

"I promise." Catherine smiled. "The dance and the magic, I promise."

* * *

Nick walked into Grissom's office. He opened the file he was carrying and read from it. "We found Burke's souvenirs. Mutilated breast flesh, preserved in formaldehyde." He clenched his jaw. "The DA will do everything to make sure his plea for insanity is rejected."

"Sanity, insanity, so hard to determine." Grissom shrugged.

Nick placed his file on the already mountainous stack. "Slacking on the paperwork, Gris?" He laughed.

"Shh." He gestured for Nick to lower his voice. "You are scaring my tarantula."

"Oh, I'm so very sorry." Nick said in a mockingly contrite voice.

"You wanted something?" Grissom plucked a wiggling worm into the glass case of a large, hairy spider.

"Yeah, I… err… just…" Nick scratched his chin, not sure how to say what he wanted to say. Instead he asked, "Have you seen Sara?"

"She's gone to meet Catherine."

"Yeah." Nick coughed. "They seem to have solved whatever problem they had, huh?"

"They must be solving it as we speak."

"Yeah, they've gone pretty… err… close." Nick winced at the evasive words he was using.

"Very."

"Yeah, um, that's really nice."

Grissom glanced up, his eyebrows arched. "Why don't you ask what you've come here to ask?"

"Look, I'm really not sure what's going on out here. But Sara seems to care for Catherine, a little too much." He winced again. He was anything but prude. However, this situation was nothing like he imagined ever getting into.

"If you mean that Sara likes Catherine, then yes." Grissom once again turned his attention to his pets.

"And you are okay with it?" Nick felt his jawbone hang.

"Yes. Why, do _you_ have a problem with it?"

"No!" Nick quickly put in. "I mean not because… you know? But I thought you and Sara…"

"Are very good friends." Grissom concluded. "And if my friend is happy, I'm happy."

"Well, then I'm happy too." Nick sighed in relief.

* * *


	35. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_Her untied hair blew all around her face as she tried to get a picture of the glowing horizon. She got a good position and then handed the camera to Lindsay. Pointing into the distance, she softly instructed Lindsay on how to take the picture. I saw my daughter's hands shake but Sara had gently held them in support. And then abruptly there was a snap and the picture was taken._

_While they chatted, I took the time to observe both of them. She looks so carefree, in her tank top and khaki pants. Her nimble arms were expertly handling my ever-so-exuberant daughter, lest she toppled into the water. They look towards me. I can see Lindsay whisper something into Sara's ear and then both of them break into giggles. Oh yes, Sara Sidle giggles. A long time ago, I didn't think it was possible. Strangely, it makes me feel like giggling too._

_Then they start throwing water over each other. I find myself rolling my eyes good naturedly. Sleep was definitely out of the question now. _

_My fingers are laid casually upon my jacket. I move them and try to probe for something. I feel the bulge of a tiny box. A smile steals its way to my lips. Twelve months of dating and today I'm sure. I'm sure that I want to spend twelve more months, twelve more years, and twelve more lifetimes with her._

_A candlelit dinner by the Lake_ _and a serenely clear sky would adorn my proposal tonight. Our relationship began darkened with shadows of fear, lies, guilt and regret. But the line between shadow and love was ever so fine. And before we knew, that line was crossed.

* * *

_

_The carelessly tossed hat over her face, the UNLV tee accentuating her curves and the denim shorts opened to reveal sleek, tanned legs – she looked like a Goddess in her Abode, albeit a Goddess in casuals. _

_This day was her plan. Today was our night off and after pulling doubles and triples for weeks now, this day came as a blessed promise in bliss. Lake Mead, complete with its outdoor activities and natural beauty, was just the place we needed. Added to it, was the fact that I was spending it with Catherine and Lindsay, my two favorite women, my two best friends, my two beloveds, my family._

_Of course, we weren't officially or legally a "family" yet. Though, the people who did matter, meaning our team of CSIs and Brass, acknowledged our relationship positively. But I do want to scream to the world that these two beautiful women belong to me and I belong to them._

_But I can't do that without Catherine's consent. I reach into my pocket and grin when I touch a smooth jewelry box. Tonight we had ordered ourselves a special dinner by the lake. It was going to be a simple and yet important affair. Important because tonight I would be asking the two Willows women to accept me and accept my proposal to be with me. _

_Lindsay suddenly splashes water on me and I yelp in surprise. Narrowing my eyes in mock threat, I take a handful of water and sprinkle it on her. Thus starts our water battle. _

_Catherine looks up, groans and mutters something that sounded like "Teenagers". _

_I once again reach into my pocket for what must be the hundredth time. I would probably be doing it another hundred more times until tonight. _

_Wish me luck.

* * *

_

Author sends her thanks: To all the ladies and (few) gentlemen, thank you for reading and commenting. Never did I think I'll complete a 50,000+ words fanfic but writing this one was truly a pleasure. Suffice to say, I've got even more hooked on to CSI after writing this. You, as readers , have constantly kept me on my toes (fingers) and inspired me to write more and better. There have also been some valuable reviewers who have voiced their honest opinions and therefore made me realize my mistakes in the plot. Thank you to all of you, once again. Oh, another thank you to my two pets who had to listen to me drone on the dialogues before I could type them up. Would I be writing another CSI fic? Yes. Would it be a sequel to this one? Most likely. All depends on whether you guys want a sequel or a brand new story. Also, my Lady Muse must kiss me regularly like she has been doing these past few days and I'll be fine.

And off I go to imagine what took place that night at Lake Mead...


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